Category Archives: Diapers

The dirty side of motherhood.

Triple Scoop

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Three delectable bite-sized posts.  Well, kind of bite-sized.  If you have a big appetite.

1. I may be solely responsible for the superbacteria phenomenon.

Many of you think I am organized.  After all, I have all those charts and schedules and semi-compulsive planning habits.  I don’t know how to break this softly, but they are an illusion.  A mirage.  I have and do all those things BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE A BRAIN.  I’m forgetful, scatterbrained, often unfocused and usually off-schedule.

SO. I am entirely incapable of following the instructions on the prescription bottles.  When the paperwork says, “Administer this antibiotic twice a day for ten days and MAKE SURE YOU FINISH THE WHOLE TEN DAYS or you shall be thrown into a pit of lions who have communicable diseases,”  it might as well say, “Every time you give this medicine, make sure you catch two electric eels and harvest their organs.”  It’s THAT hard.  I forget at least one dose a day.  Then after about 4 or 5 days, when the kid is better, I forget they’re even supposed to take it.  Then I remember a couple days later and give them one or two doses that should hold them over until I remember again.  (Just last week, I took all but 5 Amoxicillan pills for my own strep throat.  Then I forgot to pack them for my Disney trip. So about 10 days later when I could feel a sinus infection coming on, I started retaking my last five pills.  Now they’re gone.)  I KNOW.  I totally agree there’s something wrong with me, and that is why I’m apologizing for making the world unresponsive to antibiotics by using them incorrectly.  (As a side note to calm any rage you might be feeling –especially if you have a medical background– I looked up some multi-alarm timers online yesterday that old people use to help them remember to take their pills.  Yes, it’s come to that.)

2. What did you call me?

I have never been a terms-of-endearment girl.  Even as a wide-eyed single adult, I hated hearing couples calling each other “sweetie” and “honey” and don’t even get me started on names like “peaches” or things that end in “-poo”.  Seriously?  I’ve softened up over the years and use some of these with my children, especially the -poo ones if I really want to get their eyes rolling.  But Matt has always been Matt.  And I’ve always been Steph.  And I’m TOTALLY fine with that.  However, lately –and I don’t know if this has to do with his new light-hearted look on life since he graduated from law school– he’s started calling me “Momma,” or “Mama,” but really does the spelling matter?  Um, what?  Since most of my readers are women, I don’t really need to get into why this might be an unwanted nickname.  So, I gently broke him the news the other night when he said something like, “Hey, Momma, you wanna bring up my cell phone charger when you come upstairs?”

I tried to make him understand that his little pet name made me feel like this:

or 

So he wants to know what he should call me.  I guess Steph is getting old.  I told him I’d blog about it and ask my wise readers.  If you suggest anything with -poo in it, you’re henceforth banned from my blog.

3. P90X and the family effect

After 3 1/2 years of work by day and law school by night, Matt put on a few pounds.  Now he’s determined to get them off and bought that P90X system, which is an intense 90-day workout plan accompanied by nutritional advice.  So in an effort to be supportive, I went and bought all the ridiculous groceries on his list (soy sausage patties?  Really?) and we’re all trying to eat more healthy.  One night we had chicken breast with honey chile sauce and mixed vegetables.  Last night was island pork tenderloin with baked asparagus.  Well, I think the whole program will have quite a transformation in our family since our children won’t eat ANY of it.  I think P90X should use this picture on their next before-and-after ad.  What do you think?

Before: 

After:

Mothers, cathedrals, and invisibility

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I lived in Spain for three summers.  I love Spain.  I love the art, the architecture, the language, the culture.

What surprised me was how much I loved the cathedrals.  They’re beautiful.  One time I heard a concert of monks singing Gregorian chant that echoed inside the large spacious chambers of a cathedral, and it was so lovely that it reverberated inside me and almost brought me to tears.  The WORK behind those buildings is simply magnificent to behold and nearly impossible to imagine.

I came across this video clip on some deserving (but not remembered) blog, and it makes the most poignant comparison between cathedrals and mothers.  I really liked it.  I hope you do too.

Etc., Etc., Etc….

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Today feels like a day of miscellaneous business.  I’ll try to be efficient as I cover it all.

  • My blog has a new look because I just felt like shaking things up a little bit.  I did it a few days ago and no one’s said anything, so I’m wondering if it was more of a makeunder than a makeover.  Maybe I’ll start from scratch.
  • I picked a winner for the poetry contest.  I know I said I’d pick a few and we’d all vote, but there were only a few entries (which were all fun and wonderful, by the way) and I just picked my favorite.   The winner is Charlotte of Memories for Later.  I loved her “Ode to the Snow Day” and it will soon be honored on my sidebar.  This lovely crown?  It’s ALL YOURS, Charlotte.  Congratulations! 

Snow Day.
Beloved of my childhood.
How I did yearn for thee then!
Praying for thy presence
With lazy days and snow to play.

Age hath unmasked thee,
O’ cruel day thou art!
Disruptor of Routine!
Deliverer of Cabin Fever!
Creator of Summer Makeup Days.

How I should dread thee,
And yet thy place of magic
Still holds sway,
And my heart flutters
At the thought of thee.

  • Just wanted to let you know that I have a guest post up today over at Mormon Women.  It’s called “Obedience Buffet,” wherein I pontificate about my love of restaurants and tendency toward pick-and-choose in other areas of life.  Head on over to check out their site, and ring the comment bell if you feel so inclined.  🙂
  • Miss Wonder Woman gave me a Happiness Award, and asked me to list 10 things that make me happy.  So I did (click here). I’m supposed to tag 10 people, but I’m not feeling very rule-hardy right now, so I hereby bequeath this award to any of my readers who were born in July (because you must be cool).  If you choose to accept it, write your happy list on your blog and leave me a link so I can go read it.  Thanks, Wonder Woman!
  • Okay, (deep breath) last thing.  It’s been a while since I’ve honored some of my favorite posts that I’ve tripped upon in the blogosphere.  So without further ado, the current Post-It award recipients …..  (click here if you’re a winner)

  1. Annie Valentine blogs at Regarding Annie and she feels like a kindred blogger to me in many ways.  (I mean, her blog tagline says: “Sometimes I want to kick my man in the shin and sell my kids on eBay.”  *snort*).  She also writes a column in her local newspaper and I absolutely loved this post/article she wrote.  Made me look at the way I talk about people in a whole new way.
  2. I always love That Girl over at Pensievity, but she wrote two posts recently about marriage (one crash course and one down-to-earth chuckle) that just reeked of right.  She’s a smart cookie, That Girl– all full of priorities, and cuteness, and wit and such.
  3. In this post called “Death Doulas,” Terresa at The Chocolate Chip Waffle weaved a lovely tale of death and hope and wonder.  It’s quite beautiful.
  4. I really loved this sweet, humble testimony, “God is There,” over at Mormon Women, too.
  5. And finally, Momza wrote a guest post at Mormon Mommy Blogs called “Mothers Don’t Have to Be Everything to Everyone,” in which the title itself preaches a lovely sermon, but it was the last line of her post that hit me like a ton of bricks (the Holy- Ghost,-that-is-so-true kind of bricks.)

Whew, that’s it.

And I love my readers, really I do.  This past week you’ve given some great advice, and said some of the sweetest things that really made me feel great.  So thank you.

Ode to winter (time for a poetry contest), and a teensy bit of whining

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I will now relate to you just a few of the events in our family in the last 48 hours.  Pretend you care.

Coughing

Snot

Fever

Waking at night

Lab visit

Strep Test

Antibiotic

Urinalysis

Another Strep test

Carbon Monoxide alarm going off

Evacuate house for hour

No notable danger

More fever

Bubble Gum Motrin

Bubble Gum Yum Tylenol

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Doctor visit

Blood test

Chest x-rays

Stomach x-rays

H1N1 test

Urology referral

Another antibiotic

Make cake

Grant’s birthday

Antibiotic battles

More sore throat

Two peed beds

Doctor visit

Strep test

ANOTHER antibiotic

The end.

Kill me now.

So, out of necessity and the spirit of survival, I will now change the subject.  I think it’s time for the Diapers and Divinity Winter poetry contest.  The winner gets a spotlight on my blog sidebar for the rest of winter AND this lovely crown:

Let’s do an ode this time, shall we?  An ode is “A kind of poem devoted to the praise of a person, animal, or thing. An ode is usually written in an elevated style and often expresses deep feeling. An example is “Ode on a Grecian Urn,” by John Keats.”  (Thanks, dictionary.com.)  We’ll be much less formal here, and modify the ode rules.  Pick something or someone to praise (Anything related to winter) and write a poem about or to it/him/her.  Can rhyme, doesn’t have to.  Can be serious or sarcastic.

I’ll cough up two here as examples:

Ode to my fireplace

In the midst of painful winter, wise birds have flown away.

Yet, we foolishly remain.

Thou art my only consolation.

Thy gentle warm breezes and intoxicating flames dance about,

and I rest by your side.  Waiting, Waiting.

Come Spring I’ll bid thee farewell.

Or given my current list of whining:

Ode to Antibiotics (Did I say I was going to change the subject?)

(in the form of a limerick.)

Winter affects us a lot.
There’s pressure, and coughing, and snot.
Write the doctor some checks.
Go pick up the Rx.
Enjoy 10 healthy days that you’ve bought.

My favorite part of antibiotics is “Take with food.”  I’m pretty sure they mean this:


Can’t wait until my next dose.

We’ll let the contest run for several days.  Leave your poem(s) — as many as you want to write– in the comments on this post by midnight the night of Tues., Jan. 19th.  I’ll pick my favorites and then we’ll vote together on a winner.

I think I need a nap.

So here’s the thing about resolutions. Or, how children ruin everything.

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Obviously the Blogosphere is full of posts about New Year’s Resolutions– some serious, some sarcastic.  I like the idea of resolutions, I really do.  As my life gets more and more busy, I’ve found that taking time to inventory my goals helps me stay focused, and it keeps some of my dreams from slipping through the cracks.

When we first got married, I rolled my eyes at Matt and all his Franklin-Covey Core-values life-planning goal-sheets with step-by-step plans from today to exaltation.  I just liked to live life from day to day doing the best I could and figured that as long as I was pointed in the right direction, I’d eventually end up in the right place.  I was fine with that.  And it worked for a quite a while.  In some areas, it still does.  But once my days became divided between three little attention-parasites and a husband who wants me to remember he’s still around too, plus church and civic commitments… well, I got confused.  The whole “resolute” part of resolutions is the most difficult part.  It’s hard to keep track of everything without really thinking through what matters most and making sure it gets done.  It’s easy to get distracted.

I’ve tried list-making and note-taking.  I’ve posted goals on my bathroom mirror and kitchen cupboards.  But the thing that finally clicked for me came after I heard Sister Julie Beck’s talk about “intentional parenting” last Spring.  I learned that I needed to think about what I really want to accomplish with my family and build those related activities into our routines.  On purpose.  So, for me, goals and resolutions have turned into schedules and calendars.  I’ve found that when I actually PLAN my goals, they don’t disappear.

Do I want to make sure we make it to the temple?  Put it on the calendar!

Do I want my children to learn how to serve and how to work?  Put chores and service in the weekly routine.

I’ve spent the last week or two trying to think about what things are going well in our family, what things need to go, and what are things have been neglected.  Less TV?  More one-on-one time with kids?  Regular temple attendance?  More or less extra-curriculars?  When’s the best time to schedule in my scripture study so it has the greatest chance of getting done every day?  You get the idea.

It took days of thought and hours of document design, but this is the final result.  (Don’t you dare laugh at me.)

So, this is what I’ve become.  I would have never imagined.  Then again, I shouldn’t be shocked since I do have a minivan and a mommy blog– a couple other things I probably didn’t originally have on my young, naive list of future plans.  Anyway, I was so proud of my new weekly schedule.  I showed it to the kids with optimistic enthusiasm.  They’re used to my constant charts and signs, so they were on board.

And then like a dark cloud, the holidays were over and today was back to school, back to real life, and test-drive day for our new weekly schedule.  Please tell me that your children go through post-holiday detox too.  They were out of control.  No more presents to open, no more grandparents to entertain them, no more unlimited access to movies and computer games, no more days off of school.  If I could describe the day in one phrase . . . it was a day of time-outs within time-outs (breaking rules upon rules while still being punished for the last broken rules).  I really wanted to throw out the schedule and tell them to go watch TV until bedtime.  Needless to say, my twinkly dreams of an organized and peaceful New Year went up in flames by about 3:00 p.m. and my children’s chances of living through the month were almost completely diminished by 6:00 p.m.

And this is where the whole “resolute” thing comes into play.  Are the goals important to me?  Yes.  Is it worth sticking it out and being consistent?  I think so.  Will my children be incarcerated in the process?  I hope not.  I have to believe that with commitment and consistency, we’ll fall into a routine that reflects what kind of family we want to be.  This is not a new concept around here– there was a summer schedule and a Fall schedule and this one is just adjusted for changing family needs.  (As a side note, I’m not a nazi about the schedule minute-to-minute, but it gives direction and focus to each day.  For example, a day with emphasis on service, one on outings, one on chores, etc.)  They’ve learned to thrive in the routines in the past and they’ll do it again, if I can survive the first two weeks.  Wish me luck.

Here are three talks (in addition to the Sister Beck one I mentioned earlier) that have really helped me in trying to figure out what kinds of things need to be part of our family’s patterns.  The first two are both by Elder Dallin H. Oaks, and the third by Elder Bednar.

“Good, Better, Best”

“Focus and Priorities”

“More Diligent and Concerned at Home”

Happy New Year!