Triple Scoop

Three delectable bite-sized posts.  Well, kind of bite-sized.  If you have a big appetite.

1. I may be solely responsible for the superbacteria phenomenon.

Many of you think I am organized.  After all, I have all those charts and schedules and semi-compulsive planning habits.  I don’t know how to break this softly, but they are an illusion.  A mirage.  I have and do all those things BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE A BRAIN.  I’m forgetful, scatterbrained, often unfocused and usually off-schedule.

SO. I am entirely incapable of following the instructions on the prescription bottles.  When the paperwork says, “Administer this antibiotic twice a day for ten days and MAKE SURE YOU FINISH THE WHOLE TEN DAYS or you shall be thrown into a pit of lions who have communicable diseases,”  it might as well say, “Every time you give this medicine, make sure you catch two electric eels and harvest their organs.”  It’s THAT hard.  I forget at least one dose a day.  Then after about 4 or 5 days, when the kid is better, I forget they’re even supposed to take it.  Then I remember a couple days later and give them one or two doses that should hold them over until I remember again.  (Just last week, I took all but 5 Amoxicillan pills for my own strep throat.  Then I forgot to pack them for my Disney trip. So about 10 days later when I could feel a sinus infection coming on, I started retaking my last five pills.  Now they’re gone.)  I KNOW.  I totally agree there’s something wrong with me, and that is why I’m apologizing for making the world unresponsive to antibiotics by using them incorrectly.  (As a side note to calm any rage you might be feeling –especially if you have a medical background– I looked up some multi-alarm timers online yesterday that old people use to help them remember to take their pills.  Yes, it’s come to that.)

2. What did you call me?

I have never been a terms-of-endearment girl.  Even as a wide-eyed single adult, I hated hearing couples calling each other “sweetie” and “honey” and don’t even get me started on names like “peaches” or things that end in “-poo”.  Seriously?  I’ve softened up over the years and use some of these with my children, especially the -poo ones if I really want to get their eyes rolling.  But Matt has always been Matt.  And I’ve always been Steph.  And I’m TOTALLY fine with that.  However, lately –and I don’t know if this has to do with his new light-hearted look on life since he graduated from law school– he’s started calling me “Momma,” or “Mama,” but really does the spelling matter?  Um, what?  Since most of my readers are women, I don’t really need to get into why this might be an unwanted nickname.  So, I gently broke him the news the other night when he said something like, “Hey, Momma, you wanna bring up my cell phone charger when you come upstairs?”

I tried to make him understand that his little pet name made me feel like this:


So he wants to know what he should call me.  I guess Steph is getting old.  I told him I’d blog about it and ask my wise readers.  If you suggest anything with -poo in it, you’re henceforth banned from my blog.

3. P90X and the family effect

After 3 1/2 years of work by day and law school by night, Matt put on a few pounds.  Now he’s determined to get them off and bought that P90X system, which is an intense 90-day workout plan accompanied by nutritional advice.  So in an effort to be supportive, I went and bought all the ridiculous groceries on his list (soy sausage patties?  Really?) and we’re all trying to eat more healthy.  One night we had chicken breast with honey chile sauce and mixed vegetables.  Last night was island pork tenderloin with baked asparagus.  Well, I think the whole program will have quite a transformation in our family since our children won’t eat ANY of it.  I think P90X should use this picture on their next before-and-after ad.  What do you think?




25 thoughts on “Triple Scoop

  1. So, schmootzie-poo is off limits. Got it. (gag.)

    I never understood nicknames, but my grandma calls me pinkie-lee. She wanted my mom to NAME me that. God bless my mother for resisting. But it’s a nice nickname. But other than that, I don’t have one. Tay is a little hard to shorten.

    Maybe tell Matt to get over it. Or just call you Hottie-Hot. Preferably not when kids are around because heaven knows we don’t want them catching on to that one.

    I’m sure your kids will eventually start eating so long as you don’t make them sit and stare at their plate until their food is gone. Just make sure they at least try it every night. But hey, if they don’t eat their veggies, more veggies for you, right? 🙂

  2. I’m actually planning a blog post on the subject of husbands calling their wives “mama”. It’s a no-no-he**-NO!

    I kind of have the opposite problem. I love that my husband calls me honey (and that’s what I call him), or that he calls me “D”. But I LOVE to hear him say my name. Like, if he’s talking to his parents and he says, “DeNae was telling me…” I have this almost titilating reaction to it. (Can I say that over here? I at least put these guys ** in that one word!)

    I sort of like “babe” just as a quick term of endearment. “You ready to go, babe?” works very well for us. It’s a fairly new arrival to our list, but it’s growing on me.

  3. My husband calls me Momma, too. Doesn’t bother me, since that what everyone else around here calls me. What does bother me is when he’s frustrated with me, he calls me babe. So now, whenever he calls me that, I start wondering what I done/haven’t done to get him upset with me. Kinda ruins the sweetness.

  4. Superman has always called me babe. And so I’m kinda like DeNae — I get all excited when he says my real name. I think Matt should call you “my lover.” Like Little John’s wife in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

    Or hotstuff.

  5. We call each other babe around here a lot too. I had no idea how common it was. And yes, I do love when he uses my name too. I wonder if I should start using his name more too…

    And Steph, I have one word for you about the antibiotics: Zithromax. It’s my new favorite drug in the war against constant ear infections, because you only take it once a day for five days. Seriously, we live in a country where they can transplant entire faces, but the still expect moms of sick kiddos to remember medicine twice a day for ten days? Get real. Zithromax all the way baby.

  6. You are so very funny… I wouldn’t feel good about Mamma either. ANd oh, the agony of taking ten days of antibiotics. I am absolutely on board the Zithromax train!

  7. I put a stop to the hubby calling me mom, momma or mommy as soon as it started. I AM NOT YOUR MOM! was the first thing out of my mouth, cruel I know but it had to be stopped! I guess we aren’t to creative it is just Scott and Diane for us. We have a neighbor who calls her husband “darling” at it really bugs, big time. I hope the neighbors don’t read blog comments or I am so dead!!!

  8. When my husband calls me by my name I know I’ve done something terribly wrong or bad 😦 Otherwise, I don’t think there is any other name he calls me by. Hummmm.

    I call him honey or hon. I never thought of it as an issue one way or the other. I think this might be one of the minutia of life that is of little consequence.

  9. I’m with you on #2. Early in our marriage, my husband called me “Sister Boone” when it was just the two of us. Really?? I wasn’t having any of that. He uses babe a lot, which is okay, until I realized he calls his sisters and even our daughter that. And then there was the period where he started calling me “Dude”. I’ll take my first name any day over these options…

  10. My dad always calls my mother “gorgeous” or “beautiful,” which I think is so great. I really love when Ben calls me “Am” because none of my friends do, and it feels like a little insider secret or something. We do a lot of sweeties, honeys and even “bunches” (Think honey bunches of oats.)

    Does he speak a language from his mission? Cuz each language usual has it’s own terms of endearment. “Querida” is one of my faves.

    P.S. Amen to the antibotic dilemma, I am currently giving two medications to each of my three children for the next week – where are the one time shots, people?

    P.S.S. Your P90x bite was hi-larious. Laughed out loud. You’re great, Fanny!

  11. So you’re the one responsible for the superbugs! I can’t wait until they find out it’s you and then interview me on the news so I can say, “I knew her back when she was just a blogger.”

  12. I must be contributing to the super bug too. They need to come up with 3 day dosages or less! I had to take some 4 times a day for a couple of weeks after my c-section. I’m just glad I’m still alive!

  13. I would not go for the mama thing. Too weird. I think we’re typical honey and sweetheart, but mostly we use our names. We do, however, use bizarre terms of endearment for our kids. (Bean, muffin, Maps, Fryguy, Beafy, Jo-Bo)

  14. Ok I am going to go against the crowd…Steve calls me “Mother” alot…I call him “Papa”. Although it can go too far…Steve’s dad always called his wife “Grandma”…when she was in the hosptial he called her Grandma in front of a nurse…she thought he was her Grandson…His wife almost through something at him and the nurse! 🙂

  15. Okay . . . I call my husband “Daddy” when I’m requesting something on behalf of our children, as in, “Daddy, could you please bring MayDay his shoes?” And he does the same with me.

    But otherwise? I figure if he calls me “Mommy” or “Mama” that kind of limits my role in his life . . . I mean, there are some seriously wrong times and places for him to let that one slip. I can just imagine what kind of mood killer it would be for him to call me that if he happened to have any . . . intentions.

    As for other terms of endearment? My use of “honey” is entirely facetious, and usually reserved for when he has done something on the stupid end of the spectrum. And we joke around a lot with “Babe” and “Baby” (pronounced bay-beh) but otherwise we just use each others’ names.

    PS Thanks for the superbugs. Nothing like a scientific challenge to bring out the best in our drug companies! But seriously, I don’t have a brain either. It’s a good thing my children don’t need regular doses of something lifesaving because, as with getting things in the mail on time (curse you, Blockbuster), I just cannot be trusted.

  16. This is the first time I’ve read your blog (linked on my MIL’s blog) and I think I hate you LOL! Okay, I loved your post, but since I’ve been suffering for 6 weeks with an ear infection that won’t quit after taking 3 antibiotics PERFECTLY I’m cursing all you forgetter 😉 😉 Several years ago I started on daily meds for a condition and as my medications have become more complicated I now use a twice-a-day pill box. I take meds AM and PM when I’m healthy. During this last 6 weeks I’ve been up to 4 times a day. The answer for me: ALARMS. I set them on my cell phone for when I have to take a med at an unusual time. I can set unlimited (as far as I’ve discovered) alarms on my phone and even set a message “Take ______”. The pill box also helps keep my DH from overdosing me, which happened once when I was sick. He gave me all my pills for the day in one dose and I was so out of it I didn’t even notice until time to take my next dose, LOL.
    My hubby never calls me Mama, though I call him Papa frequently — usually on behalf of the kids. He has a nickname he came up with for me when we were dating some 10 years ago. If he calls me by my own name I’m probably in trouble 😀 I call him babe, but I dont’ shorten his name at all. Most people call him Mike. I used to also, until we started dating. For some reason ever since then I’ve had to call him Michael.

  17. I have family members that live and die for PX90- they love it. I have never tried it, so I can’t say much about it…
    but I can say this-
    my husband calls me ‘babe-a-lish’ in front of the kids and I love it. If he says “man, mom is looking FIIINNNE today!” I love it. He calls me babe most of the time (at home) but we do say ‘honey’ etc…
    here is why I love it. I feel like he is being playful, flirty, and noticing me. I feel cute and young when he treats me cute and young, and more than that I have 3 boys who are seeing it is okay to love and be silly….
    that is all good by me!

  18. I take hormones and I usually forget until I realize the monster is coming out ; ) I’m grateful my life doesn’t depend on it–well, everyone else’s does.

    My hubby calls me Yvonne–how boring is that ; )

  19. Okay, don’t laugh – my husband and I call each other Pookie. But I guess that won’t work for you ’cause it contains “poo.” 🙂 My husband does sometimes call me “Mom” which I am going to put a stop to since reading this post. I’ve always disliked it. It’s so nice to know I have an army of women on my side. Thank you!

  20. I have always felt a little strange about nicknames between lovers, maybe since I never felt like any of them fit me. But my husband wrote me throughout my mission and he started using nicknames that made me feel special and close to him. He calls me Duckie because I love ducks and birds and I call him Fishie because… well… that is our last name and it was fun. I also call him Grizzly Bear… Needless to say, I like the nicknames now because they are connected with little stories that make my insides smile.

  21. I don’t remember my husband’s name. I’ve called him “Honey” for so long now that I get confused when people call his real name in the halls at church. Likewise, it’s always disconcerting when he says “Melanie” because I’m so used to “Sweetheart.”

    Having said that, I don’t mind Mama. Probably something is wrong with me but in it I hear “Hot Mama” and “Little Mama” and “Sexy Mama”, and I’m fine with every one of those. Yeah, something’s wrong with me.

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