I will now relate to you just a few of the events in our family in the last 48 hours. Pretend you care.
Coughing
Snot
Fever
Waking at night
Lab visit
Strep Test
Antibiotic
Urinalysis
Another Strep test
Carbon Monoxide alarm going off
Evacuate house for hour
No notable danger
More fever
Bubble Gum Motrin
Bubble Gum Yum Tylenol
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Doctor visit
Blood test
Chest x-rays
Stomach x-rays
H1N1 test
Urology referral
Another antibiotic
Make cake
Grant’s birthday
Antibiotic battles
More sore throat
Two peed beds
Doctor visit
Strep test
ANOTHER antibiotic
The end.
Kill me now.
So, out of necessity and the spirit of survival, I will now change the subject. I think it’s time for the Diapers and Divinity Winter poetry contest. The winner gets a spotlight on my blog sidebar for the rest of winter AND this lovely crown:
Let’s do an ode this time, shall we? An ode is “A kind of poem devoted to the praise of a person, animal, or thing. An ode is usually written in an elevated style and often expresses deep feeling. An example is “Ode on a Grecian Urn,” by John Keats.” (Thanks, dictionary.com.) We’ll be much less formal here, and modify the ode rules. Pick something or someone to praise (Anything related to winter) and write a poem about or to it/him/her. Can rhyme, doesn’t have to. Can be serious or sarcastic.
I’ll cough up two here as examples:
Ode to my fireplace
In the midst of painful winter, wise birds have flown away.
Yet, we foolishly remain.
Thou art my only consolation.
Thy gentle warm breezes and intoxicating flames dance about,
and I rest by your side. Waiting, Waiting.
Come Spring I’ll bid thee farewell.
Or given my current list of whining:
Ode to Antibiotics (Did I say I was going to change the subject?)
(in the form of a limerick.)
Winter affects us a lot.
There’s pressure, and coughing, and snot.
Write the doctor some checks.
Go pick up the Rx.
Enjoy 10 healthy days that you’ve bought.
My favorite part of antibiotics is “Take with food.” I’m pretty sure they mean this:
Can’t wait until my next dose.
We’ll let the contest run for several days. Leave your poem(s) — as many as you want to write– in the comments on this post by midnight the night of Tues., Jan. 19th. I’ll pick my favorites and then we’ll vote together on a winner.
I think I need a nap.
Diapers and Divinity 
Oh my. You do need a nap. And lots of chocolate. And a massage, a weekend a way, and a personal chef/maid/run to the pharmacy person. I thought my weekend of vomit was bad! Hope the antibiotics do their job and that everyone at your house tops being sick.
Wow, that was some night! take a box of chocolates, go to sleep and call me in the morning. I am pretty sure chocolate will cure you. It is a veggie because it is made from a bean, right? That’s good for you. I hope all turns out well!
Holy crap! That is scary. You need lots and lots of chocolate.
Are all those test and antibiotics for you or for your kids? Either way that just stinks. I hope you and your family are feeling better soon!
Ha. Two kids and me. Waiting to see who’s next . . .
I’ll play. Give me a day or so. That crown is SO on my head.
Hope you are all feeling better real soon!
I’m just here to wish you better health,
Maybe even a little wealth.
But poetry is not for me.
That’s why I’m outta here.
Yay! I’ve been gone so long, and what a lovely surprise to come back to! Not your sickness, oh my goodness — I’m so sorry about all of that, but there’s nothing like a good poem contest to cheer one up. A little.
So here goes.
[[Ahem.]]
“Ode to Happiness”
When life hands you problems that get worse by the hour
And stopping your sniffles seems beyond your power
Just remember there’s always a cure to be found
Indulging in CHOCOLATE, pound after pound!
Each lovely piece just whispers of decadence
Your nose expands to that of an elephant’s
Sniffing each delicacy, immersed in aromas
For this, they really should hand out diplomas!
The taste is so thrilling! Magnificent! AWESOME!
You slowly get lost in your own microcosm —
So enjoy the sweat treats, and forget all your sorrow
Don’t think of your diet — there’s always tomorrow!
Well, it doesn’t really have anything to do with winter, but several years ago I had my gallbladder taken out and I actually wrote an ode. Enjoy.
Ode to a Gallbladder
You’ve served me well, my gallbladder friend
For twenty-three good years
But these last few months you’ve caused me pain
And at least a couple tears
So the doctor said you had to go
And with a few well chosen snips
You left me for good and good riddance too
At least for my thighs and hips
For it’s a low-fat diet I’m to keep
And I guess it’s not so bad
No more gallstone problems for me
All in all, I’d say I’m glad!
Sadly, I found out later that I could still eat anything I felt like. So no real hip shrinkage occurred. Bummer.
Ode to chocolate
A mug of Godiva cocoa,
chocolate chip waffles
breakfast is my favorite meal of the day.
Until my after-lunch snack of
See’s dark chocolate almond cups
maybe two, maybe more,
I never count, on purpose.
Dinner is whatever,
mashed potatoes, steak, it really doesn’t matter
because dessert calls my name,
no lemon bar
no peach pie
it’s chocolate brownies, ice cream, fudge.
Then I call my sisters,
my mom,
my gram.
And find, it’s no surprise,
our menus are all the same.
–Terresa Wellborn
I love these contests you have. They are so fun.
Ode to The Snow Day
Snow Day.
Beloved of my childhood.
How I did yearn for thee then!
Praying for thy presence
With lazy days and snow to play.
Age have unmasked thee,
O’ cruel day thought art!
Disruptor of Routine!
Deliverer of Cabin Fever!
Creator of Summer Makeup Days.
How I should dread thee,
And yet thy place of magic
Still holds sway,
And my heart flutters
At the thought of thee.
My inspiration does not usually hit until the last day, er night. : )
Ode To Wintertime Consumption
Oh Winter time, Oh winter time
Thy frost is surely cold
It forces me to stay inside
And drink lots of Hot Cocoa.
I look out and see the frost
And forget my daily run
I cannot risk my blessed health
I stay inside and chew some gum.
The cold is not all that bothers me
I must consider the air quality
See, If I run outside I may get sick
Thus, I stay and eat some cookies.
I know the deadline is past, and this is a very old one I wrote in highschool, but I thought I’d add it just for fun. My Ode to Charlie Chaplin.
Ode To A Funny Man
Oh shuffling walk to make us giggle
Little black moustache our smiles to tickle
Oh baggy pants about to fall off
Tight little jacket recieves humorous scoff
Oh derby hat, you old black bowl
Funny big shoes, with laughter we howl
Oh loveable smile so very contagious
Your arrogant manner so very outragious
Oh loving intent to make us sigh
You never give up and we wonder why
Oh serious point you try to make
Through the laughter and tears, all for our sake
Oh wonderful Chaplin to you our hearts
Of all our lives you have taken great part
Hi here’s my attempt 🙂
The coldest it’s been for the last hundred years!
So the weather man said with his bright purple ears
The low pressure front moving here from the west
Has brought snow to the east where the sledging is best
Circling round from the north to north east
Would be bad icy roads that would need to be policed.
From the north a cold snap
Would move quickly to sout..
(he mumbled the last part with his half frozen mouth)
The weather man warned
(whilst defrosting his fingers)
To stock cupboards full
In case the snow lingers
He continued to say if you’re out in the snow
Or stuck in the car with your family in tow
Then it’s good ‘he went on’ to have emergency kit
With pouches and pockets where different things fit
Should u find yourself frozen then mint cake and soup
Eaten real slowly would help you recoup
If frostbite sets in, your digits go black
Fingers fall off, you can’t get them back
Next to fall off are your ears and your toes
Take off your shoes, oops! There’s goes your toes!!
So there’s all the warnings
All the advice
Hope you take heed
And live a long life!