Seriously. I need to know if I’m alone in this.
Do you ever…
- Get half way through your shower and can’t remember if you already washed your hair or not? Or wash your hair and then not remember if you used shampoo or Summer’s Eve?
- Spend 50% of your budget in the first two days after payday? Because you’ve been showing spending restraint for ten whole days and just. can’t. hold. back. any. longer.
-
Buy something you know is nasty for your kids (like Spaghettios) just in the hopes that they might like it and you will have one more less-than-a-dollar and less-than-two-minutes-to-fix item to add to your list of lunch possibilities?
- Stock up on clearance items that are two sizes too big for your kids even though you know it will make your budget tight this month, but you convince yourself it will save you a lot of money in the Spring of 2011?
- Have more pajamas and lounge pants than “real” pants?
- Carry on imaginary conversations in your mind with people that you don’t even know?
- Secretly wish that all your ex-boyfriends had a blog so you could pop in occasionally to remind yourself how lucky you are (and make sure that you’re cuter and more clever than their wife)?
- Buy something that is obviously unhealthy (like a small package of Lindt milk chocolate truffles, hypothetically speaking) and eat all of it all at once so you can just throw away the wrapper(s) and eliminate all evidence that you purchased/ate it?
- Ignore your children while they ask something over and over and over again because you hope they’ll just give up and think about something else? (Admittedly, not very nice.)
- Just look at your husband, your children and your life, and think “HOW did I get this blessed?”
Because I do. And I was just wondering if that was normal.
Diapers and Divinity 
I’m surprised the shampoo/Summer’s Eve one hasn’t happened to me yet. So something I would do.
YES TO ALL. Especially #8 (and several times with Lindt milk chocolate truffles). #7 too, but to know for sure if one (or several of them) turned out to be gay (though hopefully not because of me!). #3-dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, though not spaghettios. I tried to feed the kids spaghettios once or twice, but they all took a bite and pronounced them disgusting. Same with Lunchables. #9 So easy to do…
PS I’m lounging in lounge pants right now. AC/DC lounge pants to be exact. No I don’t listen to them.
Consider yourself validated, because this post reads almost exactly like a list of what I’ve done in the last 4 days. 🙂
Um… yes. (’nuff said)
Stephanie I love this post. I totally validate you. I have another one for you too, last week I had to use my cute little ones “no tears shampoo” because I keep forgetting to buy the big girls shampoo at the store. Keep up your inspiring work!
1. Yep. Always. I have the attention span of a two-year-old.
2. Yes. Plus, I think rolls and tolls of toilet paper from Costco are a good thing to have around.
3. Haven’t you seen those Spaghettios commercials? There’s a full serving of vegetables in each can! Super good for you.
4. Yes. Always. But in 2011 I will forget I put them under my bed for safekeeping, so then I saved tons of money on the brand new Goodwill donations of 2012.
5. Lounge pants are real pants, right?
6. But they are always better than real conversations I have with real people. Somehow.
7. Well, now I will.
8. Except I hide them so I can be unhealthy a tiny bit every day. To spread out the joy a little. And to save the chocolate chips for the cookies.
9. What did you say? Did you know that you swallow an average of four bugs a year? (I keep handy distracting blurbs on hand all of the time…just for this purpose.)
10. ALWAYS. I just don’t really know how I deserve to be so blessed. (Especially after looking at 1-9….)
Yes. To many of them. It’s just part of the human experience, I’d guess.
1. Sometimes I wake up in the shower. And wonder just exactly how long I’ve been in there. As long as the water is still warm, and I can’t hear anyone screaming, I figure I’m okay. That, I think, is NOT normal.
2. Left in my budget right now, until payday tomorrow (assuming our business has enough money to actually pay the owners’ salary, which is a bit iffy) we have $34. And we have had $34 since Monday. Normal. I figure if I have more than $100 left I haven’t saved enough yet, so this doesn’t worry me.
3. I make a double batch of chocolate lava cakes, and then I don’t bake all of them, because, yes, we can have them another night, but also I can scoop out a big spoonful of batter and indulge in chocolatey deliciousness whilst standing at the open refrigerator door.
4. My kids’ closets (especially baby, who hasn’t even been born yet) are more full of clothes they’ll grow into than clothes they can currently wear.
Validation. All you have to do is ask!
YES.
And to add one, do you ever . . . insist and insist that you sent an email and the go home and check and realize that you only DRAFTED the email in your head and never actually sent it? (It’s even scarier when you swear you had a phone conversation that never really happened . . .)
Laughed so hard- this list could have been compiled straight from my life as well. Love it.
1. Ugh. Lately I’ve been trying to wash my hair with conditioner. It doesn’t work, just so you know. You know, on top of not remembering if I’ve washed it yet.
2. Yup. Usually on things that will “save us money in the future.” Or “I’ve been waiting for so long for this and it’s finally being clearanced.” I’m grounded from Target clearance for two months. We can’t afford bargains. 🙂
3. More like for myself. Honestly. Wheat thins + cheese = lunch.
4. Yes. Please see #2.
5. We’re getting there.
6. This is one I don’t do. 🙂 I think. Maybe I do.
7. Most of mine do. And I’m convinced that I’m way hotter, thinner and smarter than all of them. (Is that wrong? Should I feel good about that?)
8. Yes, haha! But only because I don’t want to share it with my husband.
9. I only have whining right now. But yes, i just start reading until he realizes he needs to make an effort to communicate with signs or words. (Heaven help our next children.
10. Yeah. And also grateful to be with them over anybody else I’ve ever met or could meet.
No. Never. Frankly – I dont know if I can be your friend anymore…wait I just read #10…Whew! Friendship saved. You know – you are so lucky to have perfection embodied (me) around you.
Now, off to watch my TV’Oed Flipping Out, and to clean up the cheese and Nutri-grain bar I fed Emma for lunch. Ella didn’t really get lunch beofre getting on the bus – See – I am such a good example for you!!!!
TOTALLY NORMAL!!! –Plus your list gets longer the older you get. Keep it up!!
Totally validated! How about not telling your husband that your parents are coming tomorrow for a week… Mom and I have been planning it for months. Ooops.
I’m getting a restraining order. There’s no way you could know this much about me without having stalked me. So I’m getting the police involved. That’s right, you’re in big trouble, lady!
(Or in other words, yes.)
Good laughs, thanks!!! It’s nice to be reminded of how it was when…. Now I miss it more than ever. But being a grandmother has it’s fun moments, too. Except, I forget…uh…(senior moment) 🙂
Forgetting things happen more and more often, now. Oh well, it’s great to be a grandmother.
We got paid yesterday and I have $40. I have size 6 & 7 shirts in the closet for my four-year-old to wear one day. And I once spent 20 minutes making up blog names that my ex-boyfriend’s wife might have for their family.
So your list is totally out of left field. You are so weird. ;o)
And have you ever read a post like this and laughed and nodded and smiled and thought “Yes! Me too!” to EVERY single thing on it but felt weird about saying so because you’re sure the person who wrote it will think you’re just saying that to either make them feel better or perhaps because you’re a mindless sycophant who just wants to impress them?
Seriously though. A resounding yes to every single one of those.
I ALWAYS forget if I’ve washed my hair. So glad I’m not the only one!
I’m not sure if I should admit anything.
The only one that really makes me feel guilty is #7. Every once in a while, I can’t help wondering about …. them…. and wonder where they are and what they’re doing, and if there is any remote possibility that they could ever be happier than I am.
For sure to 1, 2, 4, 8, 9 and 10. We must all be really normal 🙂 !!
1. No, I just wonder if I shampoo’ed twice instead of shampooing and conditioning.
2. All the time. It’s almost more expensive to try & save money!
3. No, but just because my kids are old enough & I’ve had enough of them that I know the futility of this effort.
4. Absolutely. Some years my kids are totally clothed in clearance clothes from 1 & 2 years before!
5. I have more pj’s and they are probably cuter than my regular clothes too.
6. I carry on a lot of conversations in my mind with all sorts of people–known & not known. And then I have a hard time remembering later that my friend & I haven’t discussed such & such a topic, because I had that conversation in my mind.
7. LOL. I ran into one ex boyfriend (the first one that I never really got over) in the pouring rain at the zoo when I was a huge 7 months pregnant with my 3rd child. He was standing there with his pencil thin wife and it was horrible. I liked it a lot better when another ex-boyfriend’s mother happened to come over to my house when my triplets were about 1. My oldest child played the violin for her like a prodigy, my 2nd & 3rd children were polite and well behaved, one year old triplets are adorable, and I was having a good hair day. It was so satisfying!
8. Ate what? I have no idea what you’re talking about.
9. Yes, and then I get mad when they repeat themselves over & over!
10. ALL the time. Over & over again. Particularly because I was so angry with God that I was having triplets, and now I can’t imagine my life without them. I just think–how did I get this lucky….
Yes. Except the conversations with people who aren’t there happen out loud. If I get caught, I pretend I was talking on a little earpiece, and then just say, “Well, I’m in the grocery store, so I’ll call you later. Uh huh. Uh huh. K. Bye.” Then I push a “button” that is “concealed” under my hair and “disconnect” my “call”.
Clearly, I need help.
DeNae makes me laugh.
Not only do I forget if I have washed my hair, I then go on to try and scrub my face with the conditioner and condition my hair with the face scrub. It’s usually because I am too busy having imaginary conversations with people in the shower.
I like to play out every possible conversational scenario that could happen upon me so that I am ready with a quick quip when the time comes.
All of your comments are so great. How funny to know that some of these things are more universal that one slightly deranged and housebound mother type might think. I love it.
My husband’s paycheck is ALWAYS spent within about 2 days of getting it. It has to be that way if we want to pay our mortgage! The week before he gets paid you can bet that we’re having scrambled eggs/Ramen noodles/ PB&J for dinner every night.
When I can’t sleep at night, I like to imagine myself answering Oprah’s interview questions about my life.
And about the ex-boyfriends. Mine DOES have a blog. And I am WAY cuter (and younger) than his wife. However, when I read the post that she did about how he made her a gourmet meal one night out of the blue, I decided that I should probably stop reading.
NO good could come from that!!!
Yes to all of the above. And now, to make you feel better… once when we were still in college and our budget was REALLY tight, I had a craving for a sonic cherry limeade and a breakfast burrito. So I stopped and got one, ate it in the parking lot of my apartment complex, and then drove the bag to the dumpster to hide all evidence of my three dollar splurge.
Silly, I know. My husband still likes to laugh at me for this one.
I was really think I was going to be the only one to say, “I am totally every single one of these.” But in reading the comments I see I’m not alone!
Will someone tell my ex-boyfriend’s wife to start a blog? 🙂
1. Sometimes! Creatures of habit, I tell ya!
2. Pretty much every month!
3. All the time.
4. Haha. YES!
5. Possibly…
6. Or draft a blog post in your head and imagine the comments you’ll get? Yep.
7. Not really…
8. Oh, all the time!
9. Hahaha, um, like right now? My daughter’s STILL waiting for her juice.
10. ALL THE TIME!!!!
Yep, you’re pretty normal to me! 😉
Yes to all except #9 because my little guy doesn’t talk yet. But give me a year and I’m sure I’ll be on that band-wagon too! And thanks for the chuckle. . . its nice to know that I’m not the only one too!
1. Absolutely (except for the Summer’s Eve)
2. Regularly. (it’s horrifying)
3. Nope. The kids eat what I eat. And I won’t eat stuff like that. Or McDonald’s.
4. Definitely. (Especially shoes, for some reason)
5. Yes. (hangs head)
6. Yes. And sometimes even out loud.
7. Hahahahaha! That has never even occurred to me…
8. On a daily basis.
9. On an hourly basis.
10. Constantly.
You have no idea how many times I get out of the shower, dry off, start to get dressed, and only then realize the conditioner is still in my hair!
Yes, yes, yes a thousand times yes. Except for the Summer’s Eve part cause I don’t use that. 😉 But, yes, I do all of those things. Every.single.one.
#2,4,7-10
YES!!!
I love you.
(That’s my way of saying YES to all of the above)
Wait. Lindt Milk Chocolate Truffles are unhealthy?
That is a pretty serious statement. I hope you can back it up.
😉
All of the above. Seriously.
This morning, I think I had both shampoo and conditioner on my hair at the same time. Which may explain the epic bad hair day.
I have been known to make a batch of cookies to cover up the fact that I opened up a bag of chocolate chip cookies and ate 1/3 of the bag.
I may have once started crying because of an imaginary conversation. But then again, that may have just been a rumor.
I so agree!! I just found your blog, and love it! I propose adding something else to the list…
My cell phone always rings when it should not. Yet when I turn the ringer off, I always forget to turn it back on for a few days. Or if I hide the phone, I then lose it. So tonite, I found a new place to quiet my phone. Somewhere where it will not be lost for very long. Inside the fridge. We seem to look there a bit too frequently. 🙂
Yes to all of the above, and that makes 39 normal people.
hehehe
Hee hee, I just came across your blog while googling conference packets and laughed out loud at #2. I was so ready to do that yesterday when I mistakenly thought it was payday. Ugh, I was off a week. Good thing, because I was really to spend! Phew.