Tag Archives: judging

Why I lay awake at night worrying about my book

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[photo credit: image from tumbler.com, quote from Charlie Brown/Charles Schulz]

 

My biggest fear is that people will think:

Author about motherhood = Expert on motherhood

Promise me you don’t/won’t think that.

Just in the last 24 hours, I almost cried when I walked around my house and realized that all the hard work I did with my children a couple days ago has been completely undone, and probably made worse than when we started.

My status today on Facebook was: This morning I made my three children repeat together three times, “Yes Mother, right away.” I figure if it works in North Korea, I should give it a try.

And in an email to a dear friend, I wrote this: The kids are always hilarious. Unfortunately they are also completely unresponsive to any of my wishes, which seriously led me to consider running away at about 7:53 pm last night, but then I realized it would be incredibly embarrassing to publish a book on motherhood and then promote it while in exile.

So, yeah. I’m just trying to be as real as I possibly can. Some days I feel like a fraud, and then my (bad) inner voice says, “Who do you think you are? You’re a mess!”

And then I think about President Uchtdorf when he said, “Stop It!,” and then he said,

“We simply have to stop judging others [ourselves] and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children.”

So that’s what I’m working on today. That, and gratitude, because really, being thankful is a huge healer that can cover whatever seems wrong (and there is so much to be grateful for).

What are you working on today?

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GCBC Week 24: Charity Never Faileth

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Guess what?  We did it.  We finished all four sessions of general conference.  To those of you who made it this far and are still hanging with us, congratulations!  For the next two weeks, we’re going to study some of my favorite talks from the General Relief Society session and the Priesthood session.  This week’s talk is my all-time favorite talk ever by President Monson.  I loved it.  I watched it on TV and I can still remember exactly how I felt as I lay on my couch and listened to his prophetic counsel.  He nailed something that women really struggle with.  It’s a fantastic talk, and well worth your study time this week:

“Charity Never Faileth”
by President Thomas S. Monson

 

“Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life.”

Share in the comments some things you learned or appreciated as you studied this talk.  If this is your first time visiting the General Conference Book Club, click here for more information.

Apples to apples, Souls to souls

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Women compare themselves, especially mothers.
I know that’s a broad statement, but I think it’s accurate. Even if we happen to be kind of confident about the way we do things, when we see someone else doing something well, we make a mental note on our list of Things Others Do Better.  My own list looks something like this:

hosting playdates
staying on top of laundy
fixing children’s hair and making sure they have on socks
cooking
sewing
gardening and canning
wearing make up
immaculate homes
time management
punctuality
self-discipline
and a million etceteras …..

… which I would like to point out is ridiculous. I could make a list of things I do well, too, but I won’t, because for some twisted reason it’s a lot easier to list our faults than it is our strengths.  I just realized that there is an illogical jump from “others do it better” to “I do it poorly.”  How silly is it to let another person’s strength define our “weakness”?

The universe testifies to us that God’s creations are supposed to be different.  Consider the following, Continue reading →

GCBC Week 13: “You Are My Hands”

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General Conference Book Club Week 13:

In President Dieter F. Uctdorf’s General Conference talk, “You Are My Hands,” he teaches the important principle that Christian discipleship requires us to act more like the Savior:  to embrace, to comfort, to serve, and to love.

I love the story from the New Testament about the adulterous woman that was brought before Jesus to be condemned.  After clearing the room by inviting the sinless to cast the first stone, he showed her great compassion and invited her to live a new life.  I worry that sometimes we all spend too much time condemning others, playing courthouse in our minds and deciding what’s right, what’s wrong, what deserves mercy, what demands justice, and somehow casting more stones than the situation calls for or than we have any right to throw.

I love President Ucdtorf’s simple exhortation:

As disciples of Jesus Christ, our Master, we are called to support and heal rather than condemn.

It seems we should analyze less and, instead, do more good.  When you read this talk, what parts of the message stand out for you?  How can your hands better do His work?

Go here to find the media versions of the talk (audio, video, mp3, etc.).  If this is your first visit to the General Conference Book Club,  click here to learn more about it.