Shut up!

smileI consider myself a fairly confident person overall, but I do have my struggles with self-doubt.  Something about spending the last week at my parents’ home has triggered some pondering in me.  And then when I set goals of things I know I want to be better at, that voice starts a-talkin’.  It says things like this:

When your children sometimes exhibit “unacceptable” behavior, that means you have failed as a mother.

Remember those 12 pounds you’ve gained slowly over the last couple years?  Well, take a good look in the mirror and you can see exactly where they are.  Ha!  Take that, fat girl.

Plus you haven’t exercised once this week.  That means you have no self-discipline and these 12 pounds aren’t going anywhere… they’re probably just the beginning.

Your house would barely qualify as a tool shed in this neighborhood.

When you go to church today and see people from your past, they might look at you and the phrase “worse for the wear” may come to mind.  Sure, smile and be polite, but you know they’re thinking you’ve let yourself go.

Stop making so many comments (two!) in Sunday School.  You’re just a visitor, for pete’s sake.  This is probably why your bishop made you the Primary president… because you just can’t keep your mouth shut in Sunday School and Relief Society.

Plus maybe the stuff you’re saying is dumb and people don’t care anyway.

And then in the mix of all that befuddlement, the Relief Society teacher quoted something she said came from Elder Holland’s talk, “Cast Not Away Therefore Thy Confidence.”  Simply the mention of that title jolted me.  I immediately felt a sense of comfort and acceptance.  My perspective changed and I became accutely aware that the voice I’d been listening to did NOT come from my Heavenly Father.  His voice does not make me feel small or unimportant.  So I jotted down the name of the talk in my notes and came home and studied it.  I just wanted to share a few quotes that have refueled my spirit today:

“Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. “Cast not away therefore your confidence.” Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.

“…  I acknowledge the reality of opposition and adversity, but I bear witness of the God of glory, of the redeeming Son of God, of light and hope and a bright future. I promise you that God lives and loves you, each one of you, and that He has set bounds and limits to the opposing powers of darkness. I testify that Jesus is the Christ, the victor over death and hell and the fallen one who schemes there. The gospel of Jesus Christ is true, and it has been restored.  “Fear ye not.” And when the second and third and fourth blows come, “fear ye not. … The Lord shall fight for you.”  Cast not away therefore your confidence.”

So, I’m telling that voice of self doubt to shut up.  There are lots of things about me that it clearly does not understand.  Things like this:

  16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
  17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ;
 
“Though we may see ourselves as weak and simple, we all share a noble heritage and can develop a faith that is equal to that of remarkable, faithful women who have gone before us. We have a vital role to play in helping build the kingdom of God and preparing for the Lord’s coming. In fact, the Lord cannot accomplish His work without the help of His daughters.”
smile2So, stick a sock in it, voice of doubt.  I’ve got a lot of important things to do and be, and I simply don’t have time for your nonsense.  Nice try, though.
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Don’t be shy… try your hand at the limerick contest.  TWO days left.  Come on, it’ll be fun.
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14 thoughts on “Shut up!

  1. I’m trying to remember where the quote comes from (and I can’t) but I’m thinking of the one that goes something like, “Stop worrying what other people think of you, because actually people aren’t even thinking about you.” Of course, Elder Holland’s rebuttal to negative self-talk goes further and is even better.

    Thanks for sharing these thoughts, (And, since I’ve been following your blog, I’ve formed a very high opinion of you.)

  2. Thank you so much for this post. I struggle with this all the time and your words along with Elder Holland’s were just what I needed to hear. Thank you!

  3. Wow…what a beautiful accompaniment this is to my own thoughts this past few days. I even bore testimony yesterday about our Heavenly Father’s love for us, and Satan’s influence that attempts to teach us we are small and unworthy of our Father’s love. I’m going to study that talk myself…

  4. I’m feeling you today for sure. We are house sitting for my parents and living in their big ol’ house in a neighborhood/ward of big ol’ houses, full of uber successful people. My self-esteem has certainly been taking some self-inflicted hits. Thanks for reminding where all this negative garbage comes from.

  5. I LOVE THIS!! You have read my mind — and incidentally, the only way the ward could stop me from making Sunday School comments was to put me in Primary, where I can’t get a word in edgewise — I teach the five year olds!

  6. That voice has been saying the same things (many of the exact same things) to me, and sometimes I listen. Thanks for the wonderful reminders and perspective – I appreciate your blog, and love the quotes you put in.

  7. Boy, you always write posts about things that I’m struggling with right now!

    I love knowing I can come here, read your great posts, then get even more good reading in from all the talks you link to!

  8. Pingback: Tribute to Sister Julie B. Beck « Diapers and Divinity

  9. I just stumbled upon your blog and I really just want to say, Thank You! I enjoyed reading and I will for sure be visiting again! Your words are a strength, a light and a comfort! You are a great example and though I am just a single girl and not yet part of the “Mommy bloggers” I needed your words! So, Thank You! :}

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