Category Archives: Divinity

The spiritual side of motherhood.

Etc., Etc., Etc….

Posted in About Blogs, Diapers, Divinity by

Today feels like a day of miscellaneous business.  I’ll try to be efficient as I cover it all.

  • My blog has a new look because I just felt like shaking things up a little bit.  I did it a few days ago and no one’s said anything, so I’m wondering if it was more of a makeunder than a makeover.  Maybe I’ll start from scratch.
  • I picked a winner for the poetry contest.  I know I said I’d pick a few and we’d all vote, but there were only a few entries (which were all fun and wonderful, by the way) and I just picked my favorite.   The winner is Charlotte of Memories for Later.  I loved her “Ode to the Snow Day” and it will soon be honored on my sidebar.  This lovely crown?  It’s ALL YOURS, Charlotte.  Congratulations! 

Snow Day.
Beloved of my childhood.
How I did yearn for thee then!
Praying for thy presence
With lazy days and snow to play.

Age hath unmasked thee,
O’ cruel day thou art!
Disruptor of Routine!
Deliverer of Cabin Fever!
Creator of Summer Makeup Days.

How I should dread thee,
And yet thy place of magic
Still holds sway,
And my heart flutters
At the thought of thee.

  • Just wanted to let you know that I have a guest post up today over at Mormon Women.  It’s called “Obedience Buffet,” wherein I pontificate about my love of restaurants and tendency toward pick-and-choose in other areas of life.  Head on over to check out their site, and ring the comment bell if you feel so inclined.  🙂
  • Miss Wonder Woman gave me a Happiness Award, and asked me to list 10 things that make me happy.  So I did (click here). I’m supposed to tag 10 people, but I’m not feeling very rule-hardy right now, so I hereby bequeath this award to any of my readers who were born in July (because you must be cool).  If you choose to accept it, write your happy list on your blog and leave me a link so I can go read it.  Thanks, Wonder Woman!
  • Okay, (deep breath) last thing.  It’s been a while since I’ve honored some of my favorite posts that I’ve tripped upon in the blogosphere.  So without further ado, the current Post-It award recipients …..  (click here if you’re a winner)

  1. Annie Valentine blogs at Regarding Annie and she feels like a kindred blogger to me in many ways.  (I mean, her blog tagline says: “Sometimes I want to kick my man in the shin and sell my kids on eBay.”  *snort*).  She also writes a column in her local newspaper and I absolutely loved this post/article she wrote.  Made me look at the way I talk about people in a whole new way.
  2. I always love That Girl over at Pensievity, but she wrote two posts recently about marriage (one crash course and one down-to-earth chuckle) that just reeked of right.  She’s a smart cookie, That Girl– all full of priorities, and cuteness, and wit and such.
  3. In this post called “Death Doulas,” Terresa at The Chocolate Chip Waffle weaved a lovely tale of death and hope and wonder.  It’s quite beautiful.
  4. I really loved this sweet, humble testimony, “God is There,” over at Mormon Women, too.
  5. And finally, Momza wrote a guest post at Mormon Mommy Blogs called “Mothers Don’t Have to Be Everything to Everyone,” in which the title itself preaches a lovely sermon, but it was the last line of her post that hit me like a ton of bricks (the Holy- Ghost,-that-is-so-true kind of bricks.)

Whew, that’s it.

And I love my readers, really I do.  This past week you’ve given some great advice, and said some of the sweetest things that really made me feel great.  So thank you.

Be not weary: the paradoxical commandment for mothers?

Posted in Divinity by

You know how Eve got those commandments in the Garden of Eden that contradicted each other?:  Don’t eat the fruit, and oh, be sure to multiply and replenish the earth. I’m sure there was some genuine and well-deserved stupor on Eve’s part.  Luckily, she’s smart and she got it right in the end.

Nowadays, things are only slightly less complicated.  The proclamation on the family teaches us that the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth is still in force.  In other words, have children.  And then there’s that little scripture in Doctrine and Covenants that tells us to “Be not weary in well-doing.”  Is it really possible to have children and not be weary?  In fact, if I died right now, my tombstone might accurately say, “Weary do-gooder.”

I chuckled a little inside when I heard that scripture read in church a few weeks ago (and probably made some witty comment under my breath about the impossibility of compliance when, for example, you have a newborn and a potty trainer at the same time– which I don’t at the moment, but I remember.).  I mean, telling a mom to not be weary is like telling Mike Rowe to not get dirty.  So, I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of weeks, because, let’s face it, if I ever have a snarky reaction to a scripture, I’m probably dead wrong.

Here’s what the scripture says: 

D&C 64: 33 Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.

Do you think weary is supposed to mean tired and exhausted?  If so, this commandment escapes the realm of possibility because I don’t care how much faith a mother has, she’s still not going to get enough sleep.  Perhaps there’s more to it than that.

Dictionary.com defines “weary” like this:

wea⋅ry

/ˈwɪəri/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [weer-ee]

–adjective

1. physically or mentally exhausted by hard work, exertion, strain, etc.; fatigued; tired: weary eyes; a weary brain.
2. characterized by or causing fatigue: a weary journey.
3. impatient or dissatisfied with something (often fol. by of): weary of excuses.
4. characterized by or causing impatience or dissatisfaction; tedious; irksome: a weary wait.

Perhaps the Lord is asking us to adjust our attitude more than our physical or mental state.  He’s asking us to not get dissatisfied with our work, to not become discouraged.  We may give up sleep, but we should not give up hope in what we’re doing.  This is what I’ve decided.  With absolutely no authority whatsoever, I’ve rewritten the scripture to read what I believe it actually means:

“Don’t get discouraged in your very important responsibilities.  They are tedious, but they are an important part in my eternal plan.  What seems ordinary and insignificant to you actually has infinite and eternal influence.  Believe in it, and keep going.”

Looking at “weariness” in a new light, and with a specific twist toward my job as a mother, I loved reading these scriptures (my thoughts are in red):

Gal. 6: 9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.  Key word:  in due season.  The fruits of motherhood are slow growing, but fainting is not an option if we hope to ever harvest.

(The footnote next to the word weary leads to this scripture:) Luke 8: 14 (14-15) And that which fell among thorns are they, which, when they have heard, go forth, and are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to perfection. So interesting that it cross-references a scripture about distraction.  It’s easy to feel discouraged in the labors of motherhood if we give too much importance to the cares of the world.  And yet, if we choose thorny paths, we are kept from the development of perfection– both our own and that of our children.

Isa. 40: 28, 30-31 ¶ Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. . . . But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Did that say there is a cure for weariness?  Yes.  And it’s in the Lord– waiting on Him.  Consistency and patience.

Jer. 31: 25 For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul. The Lord heals, invigorates, and blesses those who come to Him.

And, of course, Elder Maxwell says it best in an awesome talk called “Lest Ye Be Wearied and Faint in Your Minds” :

The urgings for us not to weary in well-doing contain prescriptions to avoid such weariness. (See Gal. 6:9; 2 Thes. 3:13; Alma 37:34.) We are to work steadily, but realistically, and only expect to reap “in due season.” (Gal. 6:9.) We are to serve while being “meek and lowly” (Alma 37:34), avoiding thereby the wearying burdens of self-pity and hypocrisy. We are to pray always so that we will not faint, so that our performance will actually be for the welfare of our souls, which is so much more than just going through the motions. (See 2 Ne. 32:5, 9; D&C 75:11; D&C 88:126.)

And that my friends, is how I was wrong.  Because with faith in and help from our Savior, even us mothers can move past weary and keep doing the work we were called to do, just like Eve did, invigorated by the knowledge that we’re truly doing “that which is great.”

Ode to winter (time for a poetry contest), and a teensy bit of whining

Posted in Diapers, Divinity by

I will now relate to you just a few of the events in our family in the last 48 hours.  Pretend you care.

Coughing

Snot

Fever

Waking at night

Lab visit

Strep Test

Antibiotic

Urinalysis

Another Strep test

Carbon Monoxide alarm going off

Evacuate house for hour

No notable danger

More fever

Bubble Gum Motrin

Bubble Gum Yum Tylenol

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Doctor visit

Blood test

Chest x-rays

Stomach x-rays

H1N1 test

Urology referral

Another antibiotic

Make cake

Grant’s birthday

Antibiotic battles

More sore throat

Two peed beds

Doctor visit

Strep test

ANOTHER antibiotic

The end.

Kill me now.

So, out of necessity and the spirit of survival, I will now change the subject.  I think it’s time for the Diapers and Divinity Winter poetry contest.  The winner gets a spotlight on my blog sidebar for the rest of winter AND this lovely crown:

Let’s do an ode this time, shall we?  An ode is “A kind of poem devoted to the praise of a person, animal, or thing. An ode is usually written in an elevated style and often expresses deep feeling. An example is “Ode on a Grecian Urn,” by John Keats.”  (Thanks, dictionary.com.)  We’ll be much less formal here, and modify the ode rules.  Pick something or someone to praise (Anything related to winter) and write a poem about or to it/him/her.  Can rhyme, doesn’t have to.  Can be serious or sarcastic.

I’ll cough up two here as examples:

Ode to my fireplace

In the midst of painful winter, wise birds have flown away.

Yet, we foolishly remain.

Thou art my only consolation.

Thy gentle warm breezes and intoxicating flames dance about,

and I rest by your side.  Waiting, Waiting.

Come Spring I’ll bid thee farewell.

Or given my current list of whining:

Ode to Antibiotics (Did I say I was going to change the subject?)

(in the form of a limerick.)

Winter affects us a lot.
There’s pressure, and coughing, and snot.
Write the doctor some checks.
Go pick up the Rx.
Enjoy 10 healthy days that you’ve bought.

My favorite part of antibiotics is “Take with food.”  I’m pretty sure they mean this:


Can’t wait until my next dose.

We’ll let the contest run for several days.  Leave your poem(s) — as many as you want to write– in the comments on this post by midnight the night of Tues., Jan. 19th.  I’ll pick my favorites and then we’ll vote together on a winner.

I think I need a nap.

Why I still love Neal A. Maxwell

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As a young single adult, I was a spiritual admirer of Elder Neal A. Maxwell.  I loved the way he used words to create images and analogies that helped me better understand the gospel of Jesus Christ.  He died the day that Clark was born.  I like to think they gave each other a hug somewhere in the “wormhole” between here and the spirit world.  Now that I am a mother and (maybe) a little bit wiser, I love him even more.

“Occasionally some individuals let the seeming ordinariness of life dampen their spirits. Though actually coping and growning, others lack the quiet, inner-soul satisfaction that can steady them, and are experiencing instead, a lingering sense that there is something more important they should be doing . . .as if what is quietly achieved in righteous individual living or in parenthood are not sufficiently spectacular.”

“If we spent as much time lifting our children as we do criticizing them, how effectively we could help them to see themselves in a more positive light!”

“Some mothers in today’s world feel “cumbered” by home duties and are thus attracted by other more “romantic” challenges. Such women could make the same error of perspective that Martha made. The woman, for instance, who deserts the cradle in order to help defend civilization against the barbarians may well later meet, among the barbarians, her own neglected child.”

“God’s extraordinary work is most often done by ordinary people in the seeming obscurity of a home and family.”

“One’s life … cannot be both faith-filled and stress-free…Therefore, how can you and I really expect to glide naively through life, as if to say, ‘Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken. Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou art! Then let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy joy!’ …Real faith … is required to endure this necessary but painful developmental process.”

“When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time. The women of God know this.”

“Obviously, family values mirror our personal priorities. Given the gravity of current conditions, would parents be willing to give up just one outside thing, giving that time and talent instead to the family? Parents and grandparents, please scrutinize your schedules and priorities in order to ensure that life’s prime relationships get more prime time! Even consecrated and devoted Brigham Young was once told by the Lord, “Take especial care of your family” (D&C 126:3). Sometimes, it is the most conscientious who need this message the most!”

“We salute you, sisters, for the joy that is yours as you rejoice in a baby’s first smile and as you listen with eager ear to a child’s first day at school which bespeaks a special selflessness. Women, more quickly than others, will understand the possible dangers when the word self is militantly placed before other words like fulfillment. You rock a sobbing child without wondering if today’s world is passing you by, because you know you hold tomorrow tightly in your arms.”

And finally, this was my favorite quote that I printed out and carried in my planner for almost the entire decade of my 20s.  It still rings true today:

“Throughout scripture we encounter the need for us to remember that the Lord has His own timetable for unfolding things; it will not always accord with our schedules or our wants. When, in our extremities, we urgently call for a divine response, there may be, instead, a divine delay. This is not because God, at the moment, is inattentive or loves us less than perfectly. Rather, it is because we are being asked, at the moment, to endure more for the welfare of our souls. The blessed meek understand that God loves them even when they may not be able to explain the meaning of what is happening to them or around them.”

What a great man.

Confession and Clarity (dramatic subtitle: How the Bachelor has changed my life)

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I watched the premier of The Bachelor the other night.  I wouldn’t even mention it except that I commented something about it on Kristina’s post, and have since been publicly mocked for watching it … and rightfully so.  DeNae said something to the effect of “Stephanie watched the Bachelor?  Now I’ve heard everything.  Bring on the Second Coming!”  (I paraphrased a little.)

In my defense, it was kind of accidental.  I had put my kids down to bed and turned on the TV to keep me busy while I folded laundry.  I happened upon the Bachelor at some part where he was being interviewed about his intentions, and he seemed nice and genuine enough (“I believe in lasting love, I’m ready to be a husband and a father, blah, blah, blah, etc.) so I kept watching.  (Pay attention ladies, this is how Satan works his magic.)  Anyway, then these 25 ladies showed up, and it was all downhill.  They came pouring out of limousines with predator eyes and dresses that were all bought at “Pamela Anderson’s Prom Shop.”  It was kind of like witnessing the destruction of the Twin Towers– you feel shocked and horrified, but can’t take your eyes off the TV.  I believe the producers searched far and wide to find twenty-five women whose most-prized possession is their breasts, and their least-prized possession is their dignity.  Enough said.

So, yeah.  I watched it.  And I couldn’t stop thinking about it all that night.  Or in the shower the next morning.  Or driving to the doctor.  Geesh, those women need help.  Plus it only took Mister Nice-Guy about 10 minutes into the program to fall straight into the “forget about forever– this is all about who turns me on the most right now” mode.  I kind of want to lock my children up in our house (with the TV unplugged) until they’re well past puberty.

And then yesterday, I received a copy of a talk I had requested by Sister Julie Beck.  (I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that I love her talks.)  This talk is an address she gave recently to all the Seminary and Institutes of Religion teachers.  It is the BEST. TALK. EVER.  And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.  So many great points.  Things I’d never thought of before, but make so much sense.  It totally gave me a new perspective on what I want to teach my children and what I want the young women I work with at church to know.  Unlike the Bachelor (that I couldn’t get out of my mind because it was so wrong), it was just so right. It just oozed TRUTH.

I know I give you links to talks and articles and stuff all the time, but you should REALLY read Sister Beck’s declarations about the theology of the family and our sacred, eternal roles as parents and teachers of the next generation.  It’s so good.  I’ve never tried to link to a .pdf before, so I’m hoping that if you click on this link, you can download the talk.  If you want to read it and can’t get it to work, email me — dd.stephanie [at] gmail [dot] com– and I’ll send it to you as an attachment.

2009-beck-teaching-the-doctrine-of-the-family__eng

So, rest assured (I’m talking to you, DeNae) that I’ve watched my first and last episode of The Bachelor.  Those people on TV and all the watchers who buy into those philosophies and lifestyles just have it all wrong; they have no insight into the power they have as women, or how mighty a relationship blessed by God can be.  I couldn’t be more grateful for a husband who’s my partner in a real “reality” relationship and the opportunity to teach my kids that they can have the real deal for themselves, even when the rest of the world is putting up billboards and neon signs telling them it’s impossible, even stupid.

“I would have you live in your homes, in
your families, in your marriages so your
students have the hope of eternal life from
watching you. Your objective is to live the kind
of a home life that your students want to have
—have that kind of a family. They won’t get
that message from many other places. Live it
and teach it with so much clarity that what you
teach will cut through all the noise they are
hearing and pierce their hearts and touch them.
You don’t need to compete in volume; you
don’t need to compete in the number of words;
you just need to be very clear in your examples.
You are the ideal for them. . . .”

“Your role in this is to teach them so they don’t
misunderstand, to be very clear on key points
of doctrine, which you find in the proclamation
on the family. This is prominent in your
teaching, prominent in your classrooms,
prominent in what they’re learning. You are
preparing them for the blessings of Abraham in
everything you are teaching. You are preparing
them for the temple. You are seeking to send
forth from every classroom an Isaac and a
Rebekah. You’re living so they have confidence
in you, and through your example they know
they can form eternal families.”   –  Julie Beck