Author Archives: S.D. Sorensen

Beauty, self-esteem, and laugh-out-loud hilarity

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I love Dave Barry.  Have you ever read any of his stuff?  He is FUNNY.  At Women’s Conference, Renata Forste gave a really, really good talk (click here to read it), wherein she quoted this Dave Barry column exploring the differences between the ways that men and women measure and value appearances.  It was so funny that I may have laughed a little bit over-the-top irreverently.

If you’re a man, at some point a woman will ask you how she looks.  “How do I look?” she’ll ask.  You must be careful how you answer this question.  The best technique is to form an honest yet sensitive opinion, then collapse on the floor with some kind of fatal seizure. Trust me, this is the easiest way out.  Because you will never come up with the right answer.

The problem is that women generally do not think of their looks in the same way that men do.  Most men form an opinion of how they look in seventh grade, and they stick to it for the rest of their lives.  Some men form the opinion that they are irresistible stud muffins, and they do not change this opinion even when their faces sag and their noses bloat to the size of eggplants . . . . Continue reading →

GCBC Week 9: Helping Hands, Saving Hands

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General Conference Book Club Week 9:


“Helping Hands, Saving Hands” by Elder Koichi Aoyagi

President Monson has encouraged all of us to reach out to others and serve more.  He has invited us to ask ourselves often, “Have I done any good in the world today?”  In this General Conference talk, Elder Aoyagi revisits this theme and exhorts us to follow our prophet’s challenge:

“May we follow the counsel and example of the prophet and each day seek out those in need, that we might be the hands of the Lord in helping and saving His children.“

This talk is brief and full of personal experiences where he and his loved ones were saved by selfless others.  What are some of your own experiences where another person’s service or love have rescued you?  What about this talk is meaningful to you?

Go here to find the media versions of the talk (audio, video, mp3, etc.).  If this is your first visit to the General Conference Book Club,  click here to learn more about it.

Just in case you thought YOUR children were crazy…

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Because I have no pride, I sometimes let my kids do videos with me while I’m still in my pajamas with bedhead.  Clark’s been obsessed with the music I burned to give to my Zumba teacher, so he asked if he could make a movie of us dancing to it.

We tried.  I think I need a Tylenol.

p.s.  I already know this room is trapped in 1970s purgatory. It’s my least favorite room in the house.  Someday we’ll fix it.

Sunrise, Sunset.

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It’s a new day and I’m fine.

Thank you to all of you who left such nice comments on my pathetic post yesterday and didn’t say things you should have said, like “Buck up, you sissy. It’s life, you chose it, and you have no real problems, so deal with it.” It was a hard day, one of those days where you call a “family meeting” and cry a little bit. But it ended. President Monson always quotes this one scripture (which is really about death and grief and stuff, but for my own purposes, it means crappy days will pass and things will get better) —

“For [her] anger endureth but a moment; in [her] favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” ~Psalms 30:5

and I have a testimony of that one other scripture (I’m totally making this up):

“For behold, when a mother of small children doth begin to despise her flocks, therefore she is weary and it must come to pass that she sleepeth.  And yea, when she doth offer up prayers that she might not harm her flocks, and doth lie in her bed and sleep, behold, the Lord will have mercy upon her and she shall rise again.”  ~Book of Stephanie 4:7

Amen.

The post I’ll wish I didn’t write tomorrow

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*This post is mostly for therapeutic purposes and does not claim to offer anything constructive, inspirational, or even useful.  In other words, read at your own risk.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Actually I woke up in the wrong bed this morning.  I had to sleep down in the basement because while I stayed up late working on some stuff for my calling, Clark got out of bed about 20 times.  Against all my fire-breath wishes, my husband let him get into our bed, which is where I found him at midnight.  He is the heaviest kid on the planet.  And he sleeps in a top bunk.  And I was way too tired to try to pull off the the hefting and heaving (and possible bad words under my breath) that would probably be required to relocate him.  I maybe could have woken up Matt to help except that, oh, that’s even harder than moving Clark.

My kids are sleeping horribly.  IS ANYONE ELSE HAVING THIS PROBLEM?  I don’t know if it’s the daylight savings, longer day issue or what, but even when I put them to bed on time, they are playing and tossing and turning and not falling asleep for a couple hours. And THEN, they’re getting up earlier and earlier.  I’m talking about times that kindle my wrath, like BEFORE 6 a.m.

Remember that video I linked to a little while back?  The one where the comedian (I mean WISE, WISE man) said, “Sleep deprivation in a mother leads to murder.”?  Well.  It’s not as hilarious as it was a week ago. Continue reading →