Author Archives: S.D. Sorensen

The detours of motherhood, or why I’m like prophets and my children are like Lamanites

Posted in Divinity by

detour20signsI’m currently at my parents’ home in Atlanta for Spring Break.  Unlike the great white North where I live, Spring actually lives here, so it’s been a nice change of scenery.  Outdoor weather has allowed my children to play hard and sleep hard.  My nights have been mostly quiet and peaceful.  The night before last I fell asleep face-down diagonally across my bed, on top of the covers with my scriptures open.  Before I dozed off to sleep, however, I managed to have an epiphany while studying Alma chapter 17 in the Book of Mormon.

I don’t know if this is a common struggle with other mothers or not, but I have some dear friends– friends I consider “kindred spirits” in the Anne of Green Gables’ sense– with whom I have not had decent contact for years.  I still love them as much as I ever did, and I do think of them often and wonder how they are.  Occasionally, we drop each other a quick “hello” on Facebook, and we exchange Christmas cards religiously, but despite our mutual admiration, we’ve kind of fallen out of each others’ lives.  Sometimes I mourn that a little bit.  I miss my Sunday afternoon drives up in the mountains with best girlfriends where we listened to sappy love songs and poured out our fears, struggles, dramas, and memories together.  And we laughed.  A lot.  I don’t live even within a few states of most of them anymore, but the life I have chosen is no longer my very own.  I share it with a husband and three little children.  I love them all and wouldn’t give them up for anything, but they’re pretty darn time consuming.  My friends are living similarly busy lives, and I truly understand it.  It still makes me a little sad, but as I read my scriptures Tuesday night, I saw it all a little differently.

There was a group of tight friends:  Alma the younger and the four sons of Mosiah.  These verses explains the missions they were called to:

11 And the Lord said unto them also: Go forth among the Lamanites, thy brethren, and establish my word; yet ye shall be patient in long-suffering and afflictions, that ye may show forth good examples unto them in me, and I will make an instrument of thee in my hands unto the salvation of many souls.

It struck me that this is very much like my calling to be a mother.  The words patience, long-suffering, and the command to be a good example stood out to me.  And the work of saving souls is literally in our hands and homes.

  12 And it came to pass that the hearts of the sons of Mosiah, and also those who were with them, took courage to go forth unto the Lamanites to declare unto them the word of God.
  13 And it came to pass when they had arrived in the borders of the land of the Lamanites, that they separated themselves and departed one from another, trusting in the Lord that they should meet again at the close of their harvest; for they supposed that great was the work which they had undertaken.
It really does take courage– doesn’t it?– to give up portions of your life as you know it because you hope to teach your children and make a difference in your own family.  And that is truly what happens among friends who begin/accept the motherhood journey; we “depart” in a sense, with faith and hope that we’ll meet again.  And we couldn’t do that if we didn’t believe that “great was the work” we have chosen.  (My commentary is in brackets and italics below.)
  14 And assuredly it was great, for they had undertaken to preach the word of God to a wild and a hardened and a ferocious people [have you seen a toddler or preschooler’s temper tantrum??]; a people who delighted in murdering the Nephites, and robbing and plundering them [okay, there’s not much murder going on in my house, but my fridge has definitely been plundered many times]; and their hearts were set upon riches, or upon gold and silver, and precious stones [or Webkins, the candy aisle at the grocery store, and Chuck E. Cheese tokens]; yet they sought to obtain these things by murdering and plundering [whining and manipulating], that they might not labor for them with their own hands [“No! Mommy do it!”].
And why again do we throw ourselves into that kind of mess and responsibility?
 …  16 Therefore, this was the cause for which the sons of Mosiah [a group of dear friends] had undertaken the work, that perhaps they might bring them unto repentance; that perhaps they might bring them to know of the plan of redemption.
 17 Therefore they separated themselves one from another, and went forth among them, every man [woman, sister, friend] alone, according to the word and power of God which was given unto him [her].
And for the first time, I saw myself and my unseen-but-not-lost friends as teammates on a holy mission.  We are working together more than we know, and I am strengthened by their efforts in far away lands with their own little Lamanites.  I feel unity with them, and frankly, with all of you readers, too, as I consider how we are truly serving a mission together to instruct an entire generation about God’s plan of happiness and their role in it.  It’s amazing actually.  It makes me realize that I’ve been closer than I realized to my fellow-mothers all along.
The first verses in this chapter (before the flashback in the verses I’ve quoted) show the joyful reunion of this group of friends and how they are even happier to know that each of them has remained faithful to their mission and worked hard and even suffered much in their efforts to save souls.  I think this is why we pick up right where we left off with beloved friends we have not seen for a while, because we have a cause and a deep commitment in common.  It makes me pretty darn excited for heaven or those retirement years (whichever comes first!) when we will have the time again for Sunday drives with good friends, laughing about our days among the Lamanites.
 
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Don’t be shy… try your hand at the limerick contest.  Come on, it’ll be fun.
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Reminder:  As of April 1, this blog will be hosted solely at http://www.diapersanddivinity.com (”wordpress” will no longer appear in the URL).  When that change takes place, the old feed will be reset and you will need to go there yourself and subscribe again (for the LAST time, I promise).  Any previous RSS feed will no longer work. 

Get your limerick groove on.

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This post is in honor of Jen at Jen’s Jingle.  She occasionally hosts a limerick contest that is quite delightful.  The winner of her contest gets a coveted spot on her sidebar as “the greatest limerick writer of all time.”  Perhaps you did not know that I wrote poetry.  (wrote= past tense)  Once I had a poem published in the Friend magazine.  I know, have you seen the high calibre of children’s poetry that they publish there?  I also won some kind of state-wide-ish poetry competition in elementary school.  I have no recollections of poetry in high school, and that actually brings me great relief, but I resumed writing poems in college.  I actually had poetry published in a literary journal.  Twice.  But it was in Spanish.  Don’t get too impressed, 95% of Spanish words rhyme with each other.  I’m actually a much better poet in Spanish than I am in English.  I think the language lends itself to more detailed expression.  But, I digress.  So Jen’s most recent limerick contest was about swimsuit shopping.  (I saw you cringe.) And I won! Prepare yourself for a deep, literary experience:

Swimsuit season is coming in sight.
But shopping for suits? What a fright!
My butt’s a sedan.
Maybe I should go tan;
or is cottage cheese meant to be white?

Whoever won the Nobel Prize for Poetry this year is so stabbing his eyeballs with sporks totally jealous right now.  You do know that if I had any pride at all, I would not be sharing this with you, right?

Anyway, Jen got a little jealous (who wouldn’t?), and wants a chance to write a great limerick to rival mine.  So I am hosting my very own limerick contest right here.  Since my blog is all about Diapers and Divinity, the contest will embrace a related theme.

Your humorous limerick should be about Motherhood and one of these three topics:

  1. Family Scripture Study, or
  2. Sitting in church with children, or
  3. Family Home Evening

(If you don’t have children of your own yet… ahem, Kristina… I’m sure you can make fun of mothers and kids you’ve seen sitting in church.)  Here is a quick refresher course on how to write a limerick:  It is a five-line poem.  Wikipedia explains it like this:  “The standard form of a limerick is a stanza of five lines, with the first, second and fifth having nine syllables and rhyming with one another, and the third and fourth having five or six and rhyming separately.”  (Please don’t count mine too exactly or I may get the grand prize recalled.)  Example:

So is anyone listening to me?                 9 syllables, rhyme A
We are reading the Bible, you three!    9 syllables, rhyme A
Sit down!  And stop hitting,                   6 syllables, rhyme B
a migraine I’m getting!                           6 syllables, rhyme B
It’s like preaching to three chimpanzees.     9 syllables, rhyme A

Deadline:  Let’s say March 31st. 

Judging:  I’ll post up my favorites on April 1st.  (Remember that’s the day I stop showing up on your RSS feeds, so you’ll have to come find me the old fashioned way… actually typing out www.diapersanddivinity.com into your browser (or clicking on the link) and then re-subscribe/reset your RSS feed.)  Then if I’m feeling super tech-savvy, I’ll put up a POLL and you can vote for the winner.

Grand Prize:  Well, for one thing, your limerick will win a position of honor on my sidebar for at least a month.  Plus, I think I’ll send you some chocolate, because let’s be honest, it’s the best thing almost-no-money can buy.

So get writing ladies (and gents in the minority); hit me with your best shot of good rhymes and funny times!  Enter as many as you’d like.  Fill the comment box with stuff that makes me smile.

Oh, and oh! Have you seen the giveaway this month at Mormon Mommy Blogs?  Get yourself on over there.  (If I knew how to put that in really, really tiny unreadable print I would.   Because I want to win. But I’m not that blog smart.)

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Reminder:  As of April 1, this blog will be hosted solely at http://www.diapersanddivinity.com (”wordpress” will no longer appear in the URL).  When that change takes place, the old feed will be reset and you will need to go there yourself and subscribe again (for the LAST time, I promise).  Any previous RSS feed will no longer work.

When public recognition goes too far

Posted in Diapers by

I’m a stay-at-home mom, right?  It’s a pretty low-profile job.  Don’t get me wrong, I think the job is akin to superhero status, but it’s also a little unspectacular— moms are kind of undercover superheroes whose heroic acts don’t show up in society for like 20 years.  I was informed, however, that perhaps I am underestimating my fame.  Behold this letter I got in the mail:

letter1

So, wow.  I’m going to represent my city in Who-knows-who’s Who’s Who.  I’m wondering whether my laundry skills or my perfectly-behaved children have qualified me for this honor.  I’m also not sure which “professional and business community” I’m representing.  Maybe I’m being recognized for my valuable contributions to the diaper industry and fast-food drive-thru windows.  They must be so thankful.  Wow, I have no words to thank the kind (and absolutely delusional) soul who nominated me for this great honor.  It kind of reminds me of the time that my mom secretly filled out the application for me to be in the Miss Teen USA pageant for the state of Georgia and I got a phone call saying I had been chosen.  I feel that same exhilaration (read:  confusion, amusement, and minor disgust) that I felt then.  And now that I’ve scanned the letter to share this great moment of recognition and fame, I think I’ll put it in the recycling bin where it belongs.  I know it’s hard for you to log off now that you know how famous I am, so here’s my autograph to keep you happy until my next post:

autograph1

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Reminder:  As of April 1, this blog will be hosted solely at http://www.diapersanddivinity.com (”wordpress” will no longer appear in the URL).  When that change takes place, the old feed will be reset and you will need to go there yourself and subscribe again (for the LAST time, I promise).  Any previous RSS feed will no longer work.

Going to hell in a handbasket

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handbasketIt doesn’t take much news watching or magazine reading to realize that our society is in a state of moral decay.  Usually, there are isolated events where someone does terrible and evil things, and I’m left to feel sad about it for weeks wondering how many other people like him (or her, let’s be fair) are out there living horrible, wicked lives.  Then, my faith in humanity is slowly renewed as I see normal people around me loving their children, smiling at strangers, and just being regular seemingly good folks.  Occasionally though, I come across something that tells me things may be as dismal as I fear.

I read an article on Yahoo! News last week entitled “Survey sees a drift away from religion in America.”  Here are a few of the conclusions in the study:

  • Today, 76 percent of the US population call themselves Christians, compared with 86 percent in 1990.
  • One in every 5 US adults chose not to identify a religious identity.
  • The “no religion” group has gained 20 million adults since 1990 and is the only group to have grown in every state.
  • A little less than 70 percent believe “definitely in a personal God,” with 12 percent believing “in a higher power but no personal God.” Some 2.3 percent say there is no God, while 10 percent either don’t know or don’t think there is a way to know.

I don’t have the statistics on hand to back this up, but I think you might agree with me that during this same period of time, there has been an increased acceptance of violence and immorality, and a decline in the numbers of and perceived importance of traditional families.

I cannot even imagine parenting without the knowledge I have that there is a personal God.  I know that He is my Father.  I know that His Son showed me a perfect example to live by, and through His grace makes my efforts turn out fine despite my own weaknesses and failings.  I know that my children are really His; that my calling as a mother is sacred, and I cannot fulfill it adequately without His help.  I feel strongly that God must play a role in our families, and that is why this study saddens me.  People are leaving Him out of the equation of their lives.  I feel more determined to instill faith in my children.  Knowing that faith is becoming more and more rare makes it even more important.  There are forces at work trying to pull our children to that same faithlessness.  I found these quotes from recent prophets and apostles that emphasize why and how to keep faith at the center of our parenting:

Russell M. Nelson:  “In this day of rampant immorality and addictive pornography, parents have a sacred responsibility to teach their children the importance of God in their lives. Those evils, so highly destructive of divine potential, are to be strictly shunned by children of God….Do not try to control your children. Instead, listen to them, help them to learn the gospel, inspire them, and lead them toward eternal life. You are God’s agents in the care of children He has entrusted to you. Let His divine influence remain in your hearts as you teach and persuade.”

Robert D. Hales:  “We too must have the faith to teach our children and bid them to keep the commandments. We should not let their choices weaken our faith. Our worthiness will not be measured according to their righteousness. Lehi did not lose the blessing of feasting at the tree of life because Laman and Lemuel refused to partake of its fruit. Sometimes as parents we feel we have failed when our children make mistakes or stray. Parents are never failures when they do their best to love, teach, pray, and care for their children. Their faith, prayers, and efforts will be consecrated to the good of their children.”

Gordon B. Hinckley: “If I may be pardoned for suggesting the obvious, I do so only because the obvious is not observed in so many instances. The obvious includes four imperatives with reference to children: (1) love them, (2) teach them, (3) respect them, and (4) pray with them and for them.”

My favorite quote about this topic is from President Spencer W. Kimball:

“As parents read the newspapers and magazines and see what the world is trying to teach their children, they should become all the more determined that their children not be influenced by such sin and error. Parents should then provide the home life, the discipline, and the training that will offset and neutralize the evil that is being done in the world. As children learn of the ugly things in the world, they must also learn of the good things in the world and the proper responses and proper attitudes. If parents understand that many children do not have family prayers and spiritual attitudes and proper teaching in their lives, then those parents should redouble their energies and their efforts to see that their own children receive good, wholesome training.”

Despite the title of this post, I am hopeful.  I really do believe that mothering with faithful purpose can and will eventually make good children into good men and women.  The scriptures teach that despite mounting wickedness, God has big, successful plans for his righteous followers.  I’m confident that many blessings await those who struggle through it all and still remain strong.  He helps me believe that, and I’m grateful for it, even if less and less people feel the same way.

The “art” of smiling through gritted teeth

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sc0037caacWhen you send a child to kindergarten, you simply have to accept that a once-private life has now gone public.  Anything the child says or does may now be held against you (and filed away in a a kindergarten teacher’s mind, probably to judge you for the rest of your life).

President Spencer W. Kimball said: “When children go off to school or to play with their friends, parents cannot be totally sure of what the children are learning. But if parents take time at home each evening to explain the gospel program to their children, it will replace the negative things they may learn during the day.”

Let me set the scene for you.  Today at the dinner table, Grant proudly showed Matt and me the drawings he did this week at his art-center table at school.

artwork1Me:  “Um, wow, Grant.  Is that you covering your ears when Natalie’s crying?”

Grant:  “Nope.  Not Natalie.  It’s my friend Josh.  He drawed a picture of me going pee-pee and I hated it.”

Me:  “Okay….?”

Matt piped up, “That looks like me right now with Clark.”  (Imagine in the background the wails of Clark in time-out.”

Me:  “What else did you draw?”

artwork2Grant smiles.

Me:  “Uh, are those guns?”

Grant: “Nope, they’re swords.”

Matt:  “I don’t think mom likes that one, Grant.”

Me:  “Remember scriptures this week where we read about the 10 commandments and one of them is Thou shalt not kill?”

Grant: (sheepishly)  “Oh yeah, sorry about that.  Here, this one will cheer you up.”

artwork3Me:  “Yep, that sure is cheery.”  (looking at Matt with raised eyebrows.)

Grant:  “Yeah, it’s me running away from a leopard.”

Curtain closes as Grant grins proudly and mom shakes head silently and plans next family home evening in her mind.

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Reminder:  As of April 1, this blog will be hosted solely at http://www.diapersanddivinity.com (”wordpress” will no longer appear in the URL).  When that change takes place, the old feed will be reset and you will need to go there yourself and subscribe again (for the LAST time, I promise).  Any previous RSS feed will no longer work.