I came across this quote today.  I like it.  I acknowledge that there are exceptions for abuse or other extremes, but it is a sound principle we can all do better at.

“When people are married, instead of trying to get rid of each other, reflect that you have made your choice, and strive to honor and keep it, do not manifest that you have acted unwisely and say that you have made a bad choice,nor let any body know you think you have.  You made your own choice, stick to it, and strive to comfort and assist each other.”  Brigham Young, Deseret News, 29 May 1861, 98.


11 thoughts on “Marriage

  1. So true. I hung in for a long, long time before I had to call it quits. It was worth it, because I learned a lot about patience and seeing people in their best light.

  2. That is a great quote. I think it goes along with the notion of really putting the correct amount of thought into that choice and not making a hasty decision. I could say so much more about this but I won’t…I can say this though I think I made the best choice ever in the husband department and I am glad in a way that he made a wrong choice with a wrong person before he met me as then I wouldn’t have my three awesome step kids. Honoring our choice is the key here…Thanks for sharing this!

  3. I’ll be hanging this quote on my fridge next to the ones that say, “We made ourselves a promise and we’re never giving up. Even when it don’t feel like love.” and “Choose your love, love your choice.”

  4. It just becomes hard to honor that choice when so many things “pop up” that you never would have imagined or bargained for when that choice was made.

    • That is such a good point Ann. Especially when people cheat and do certain things that make it so continuing with the raltionship is next to impossible, not impossible just very close. This post reminded me of a friend that I had in college, this discussion in general. She was from India and her parents were arranging her marriage. She had complete confidence and trust in them that they would find her the ideal match. It was so interesting to me to see that process. I always thought of it as a forced thing but it wasn’t, she could say no if she didn’t like who they picked and then they just went back to the drawing board. In fact she turned a few down. It was just a different culture, I learned a lot. I’ve always thought about her absolute trust in her parents and parallelled that with the Lord, our Father. If we have absolute trust in him he will lead us in the right direction. I know it doesn’t completely relate to your post rather this entire discussion. If one party in a marriage doesn’t honor the other and there are things like cheating I think that there is hope and a brighter future if you trust the Lord he will lead you to the right person who will honor you…

    • It’s been a while since this post, so I don’t know if Ann will ever come back to read this…but I totally (and painfully) understand what you are saying Ann. In those instances, I’ve learned that God truly wants us to trust in Him, and not rely on the arm of man. Even if that ‘arm of man’ is supposed to be our eternal companion. Not to excuse sins of commission or omission AT ALL…but only God can love us perfectly, our husband is only human.

  5. This is the best- hike ’em up and pull ’em out- Brigham quote I think I have ever read!. Its even funnier when you know that he had a wife that was a notorious whiner, and complained about him to the other wives all the time. I love Brigham.

  6. Could you tell the name of that book intended to teach LDS youth about appropriate boy/girl relationships by age/development stage? I can’t seem to use the right words to search your blog. I meant to order it and it left my “cart” long ago 🙂 Thanks for your blog! Starting up an expat GCBC in our ward here in Stuttgart Germany. Lots of interest, first meeting next week!

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