Dearest children,
I probably owe you an apology. I do not like January. This stems in part from my deep-seeded disdain for cold weather.
I love Christmas time. But when it’s over, it’s all downhill for a little while.
I’m sorry this means there must be a significant decline in presents, vacation days, and festivities in general.
I’m sorry this means we have to return to routines like chores and homework and early bedtimes.
I’m sorry this means the period of un-rationed goodies is over (unless you’re me).
Another reason I don’t like January is we always get sick in January. Right now I can only breathe out of one nostril. During this past week alone, our house has been graced with coughing, fever, vomit, diarrhea, croup, congestion, and oh, another urinary tract infection.
Dirty dishes and dirty laundry piles sit a little longer in January. You may want to get used to me saying things like, “Who wants to make macaroni and cheese for dinner tonight?”
While some moms see January as an opportunity to rekindle their love affair with the gym, your mom sees January as an opportunity to eat Toaster Strudels and Reese’s peanut butter cups for lunch.
I just want to reassure you that I still love you. I wish I had any desire to play Princess Chutes and Ladders with you, but I don’t. I’m afraid that January is the one month out of the year that if you want to spend quality time with your mother, you probably need to start reading Pride & Prejudice, or take a sudden interest in Latin music, or save up your allowance for a trip to Europe or a warm location of your choice (or even better, my choice.).
I have no idea why you were so lucky to be born into my care, but I promise I’ll try harder to wade my way through January and be the kind of mom you deserve. Remember that I’m a pretty rockin’ mom in the summertime.
Feel free to print out this picture and tape it on a Popsicle stick and wave it in my face as needed.
When you do, I will try really hard to count to ten in my brain and get over it.
Much love,
Your mother
P.S. Your dad is a rock star in January because he steps it up a lot, and he’s not nearly as irritable as I am. I love him all year, but especially in January.
P.P.S. I’m really not as pathetic as this letter makes me sound. I do plenty of good stuff in January too. Let’s just say that the ratio of good stuff is a little more sparse than usual, and I’m keenly aware of it.
P.P.P.S. Would it be presumptuous of me to alter President Monson’s quote to say “Courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, ‘I’ll try again tomorrow [next month]'”?
Diapers and Divinity 
Amen and amen. Can I get a big hat wearing, southern baptist style “hallelujah?!”
Love it! Maybe I need to do the same for my kids. 🙂
ma ha ha ha. What all mom’s would love to say, but only you actually do 😉
You should try breaking your wrist right at the end of December. It adds a whole new dimension. No, on second thought, don’t try it.
I just realized it’s kind of nice that if I was going to have a wasted month from the wrist break, it could be during a month that would have been wasted anyway. Silver lining!
Stacy took the words right out of my mouth: AMEN! And ugh, Chutes an Ladders is one of those games that has the possibility of never ending. (Unlike Candy Land which you can rig so that the orange card is on top, thus shortening the game by 5 minutes. Please don’t judge me.)
Hmmm….I may be stepping out of line here, but I’d like you to read a terrific post from Lydia Sherman http://homeliving.blogspot.com/2012/01/winter-confinement.html
I will agree that one of the things that works the best for me is having things to look forward to, like vacations, parties, or SPRING. Most of the suggestions in that article just wouldn’t work for me because they’re not in line with my interests. I don’t even do crafts and sewing projects in the sunny summertime, so I doubt they’d cheer me up in the winter, especially if I’m home sick with three small sick children. It’s just a grumpier than normal phase for me, and I’ll get through it.
I think there is nothing wrong with Toaster Strudels for dinner! 😉
My kids get pop tarts for dinner some nights, so I’d say you’re doing alright, sister. We all have that blah day, week, month. Heck, I have a few blah years in my life story. I loved this post- it was funny and made me laugh- not at your blah-ness- but at your comedic way of writing about it. January isn’t my month either. Here’s to spring!!! 🙂
Wow! I thought it was just me. Hang in there January is almost over!
January is awful. And I’m happy you wrote this, because after writing my how much I can’t handle January post the other day, it’s nice to know that other women go through the same. And a lot of us do.
I’ve managed to get to the gym once this month…but, if this year is anything like last, I’ll go every day in February. January just stinks like that.
We can hang in there for a few more days! We can.
It totally sounds like we could be related or something… 🙂 It’s a good thing my twins were born in February to help me get out of the January funk. Right about this time, I realize we have a party to get to, and that helps my attitude. A teensy bit, anyway. Next year, let’s plan a mid-January get-away. You, me, Wendy, and Kelly. I am totally serious. (Maybe we can stay with Wendy, it’s warm at her house.) 😉
That sounds awesome. I’ll try to start saving. 🙂
How about tickets for a January trip to Phoenix next year for Christmas for you and your kids (or a road trip)???? Its 75 here and sunny and hopefully by next January we will have a heated pool and spa in our back yard to entertain your kids while you sit on our back patio and read Pride and Prejudice. We’d love the company. January is always more fun when friends are around. Your kids are young enough that they can miss a few days of school 🙂
I have the best friends ever. I’m filing this away in my “You DO have options” file. 🙂 Thanks.
Brilliant letter! And the (unless you’re me) totally cracked me up!
This post is so validating it almost made me cry! Thankfully, you’re too darn funny, so I’m laughing instead. Thanks for keeping it real, as always.
I absolutely LOVE this post! Thank you! I feel the same way! I think I need a letter very similar! 🙂
AZ is wonderful this time of year. We just moved here this past year and this is my first winter and I love it! I sometimes miss the snow and have a romantic ideal in my mind of frosty days, but then I remember the long months after Christmas and I don’t miss it all that much. Hang in there…the sun will shine again! Come for a visit any time!
This post made me laugh. I am glad today is February 1st!
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this post (especially the responses) made me laugh so loud my little one asked me what could be so funny!!! lol I simply despise January for all the things you mentioned. The lack of sun makes me such a crank and add the sickness that is sure to bang on our door and the post holiday funk….Oh we could be related!! lol I will say that the one thing you have that we do not have here in the south is the snow. thankfully we rarely see snow – which is good and bad depending on which side of the mild aisle you are standing (seriously, if the weather man even mentions the S word, people here lose their minds and the milk, bread and TP are nearly at ration state. It is NUTS)
Anyway, loved your post and will be adding you to my reading list for sure. I found you from Chocolate for my Cranium.
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Two words. Vitamin D. (Is that one word and one letter?) Costco has a very tasty liquid variety that one of my kids would drink if he could. Makes a world of difference in how we feel after months of winter…