Monthly Archives: February 2011

Midterm exams for moms

Posted in Diapers, Divinity by

Have you ever had one of those nightmares where you’re in college and it’s exam time, but you just realized you’re enrolled in a class you forgot to attend the whole semester?  And now you have to take the exam and you are SO unprepared?  It’s a horrible dream.  I always wake up with a tight chest and lingering anxiety.

See this kid?

He is my oldest.  He just turned eight a couple weeks ago, and this weekend he will be baptized.  And I’ve got that same nightmare feeling.  It’s like this is the big test of my motherhood, and I do not feel ready.  My time for preparing him to make major covenants and lead a life of free agency is over.  (I know this is a little exaggerated and melodramatic, but hello?  Eight already?  Gah.)

And remember how I said before that I think Satan gets a free 90-day trial before their baptism? I’m sure of it.  He and I have been at odds lately. (Grant and I, not Satan and I.  Maybe.) At odds.  He has been pushing all my buttons, and I’ve felt angry and exasperated and thoroughly convinced that I have somehow failed at preparing him for this major event in his life.  Oh, he knows lots and lots of things about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the promises he’ll be making, and what it all means.  But he’s still just a punk little kid who makes me want to put him in time-out until he’s 18.  Evidence:

“I think this family is dumb.  I think your dumb too.  I wish this family didn’t even exist.  Hate, Grant” (Note he penned on a paper towel and then handed me a couple nights ago at bedtime.  Why so angry? Because he didn’t get ice cream after throwing water on his brother.  Right after our “Love at Home” family home evening lesson.)

So I guess I just have to really count on the Holy Ghost to take it from here?  Either that or the ethereal hope that when he gets older, he’ll like me again and his heart will be flooded with all the things I taught him over the years and he’ll turn out all great and stuff.  Oh boy, Holy Ghost, work your magic.  Some of you experienced mothers out there better tell me that this is going to be just fine.

Stuff that just needs to be said

Posted in Diapers by

This week will be our first Find-a-Friend Friday and we’ll all meet a new blog friend.  To all of you who “applied” for the honor, you made it!  It’s a long list, but I’ll get to you eventually.  If you missed it, go back and check out the new plan and add yourself to the list if you’re interested in playing along.

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I almost feel like I owe a small apology about my post yesterday.  I still stand by a lot of the points, but in my attempt to say that we all need to be more forgiving of each other, I also kind of lumped the people in the “statistics” into a category of people who don’t get it, which I didn’t mean to do or say or imply.  I joked with a friend that we all need to study this talk by President Monson over and over and over again until we start to realize that we can NOT judge others unless we know their hearts, which we usually don’t.  It’s hard to do, especially when we think we’re right about something, but we need to extend the same kind of forgiving mercy that we hope to receive in return.  (And the less we think we need it, the more we probably do.)

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After I declared my undying love for Enrique Iglesias on my Things I Love post the other day, one of his songs showed up in my Pandora feed and it was VULGAR.  And then I felt really stupid.  So just in case you were all thinking I’m some kind of closet listener to explicit music, I’m not.  At least not on purpose.  I still love his old-school Spanish stuff.  But please don’t run out and buy his latest stuff on my recommendation. Please.  Okay, thanks.

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This is not any kind of formal announcement or anything, but last week I decided I wanted to write a book about motherhood.  Not a how-to book, but more about the doctrine of motherhood.  Of course, as soon as I started writing it, my children were possessed by demons and I’ve spent most of my time trying to hide from them or sending them to their rooms.  So then I felt like “Who in the world do I think I am trying to write a book about motherhood when I don’t even like my children?”  (I do, of course, really love my children, but you know, there are days . . . ).  If I could only learn to be as patient with them as God is with me.  So we’ll see how that all pans out.

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And finally, as a public service announcement, if you stay up too late relishing the child-free time you have, you’ll always pay for it in the morning.  Just go to bed and get your sleep so that you can deal with the next day better than the day before.  The “freedom” feels great at midnight, but it hurts come morning.  And have you ever noticed that if you try to get away with it anyway, your children will always wake up at least a half hour earlier than normal just to rub it in?  You’re welcome.