Tinkerbell in training.

I’ve been conducting a private birth-order study in my own home.  Recently, lovely blog maven Melanie announced that she’s expecting a girl, and she was a little bewildered by the announcement after raising two boys.  My comment to her and our subsequent communication about it has made me reflect on what it meant in our household when pink suddenly appeared in our future and how it has all played itself out.

Grant has always been a high-energy and in-your-face kind of kid.  He loves balls, cars, and most things boy.


Eighteen months later Clark made his entrance. Clark is a darling combination of bouncy and bi-polar (not medically diagnosed, just a parental observation based on swings between glee and despair).  He loves dirt, messes, destruction and all things that make mothers think about electro-shock treatment.


Almost two years later, the ultrasound technician said, “It’s a girl,” and I thought, Yeah, right.  I don’t make girls.


She didn’t have a chance.

And I spent the several next months in denial until I finally broke down and ordered two boxes of girl clothes on eBay.  Then I could blame some other froofy mom out there for the purchase of all those pink items.

She made her cute squishy and lovable arrival that fall, and oh boy was she different.  Both of my boys nursed like they were insatiable vacuum pumps.  She nibbled and snacked and cooed and dozed.  My boys wanted to be held and talked to and fed again.  She would lay on a blanket and blink and rest and smile.

Dec06 029

I’m still amazed by how much of her girl side is just in there. She did not learn princess-love and fascination with ballet from her brothers, and it would be almost as unlikely to have gotten it from me, who purposely tried to limit her exposure to such things.  Pink and purple are her “most favorite colors in the world.”  And she likes to tuck her dolls carefully into their strollers while she makes dinner in her play kitchen.

But she has not been unscathed by two larger-than-life brother personalities.  She’s a tough little cookie and knows how to hold her own when challenged.  She definitely has a voice, and she does not like to be interrupted.  When Matt leaves for work, she demands a hug and a kiss and then calls out after him, “Bye, poopy stinky daddy.”  She’s fearless on playgrounds and wants to try everything her brothers do.  Today I was cuddling her and she was being all cute and dainty and giggly, then out of nowhere she says, “Mom, I’m going to pee on your nose.”  Yep, she’s got brothers.

Here she is today after she tried on her Tinkerbell Halloween dress.


Right after I took the picture, I called out to the boys, “Hey guys, come look!  I found a fairy in my office!”  They came running to see, and got in her face a little, and Natalie punched Clark in the nose.

And then a few minutes later she sulked in tears because they wanted to watch the Backyardigans Halloween special instead of Dora the Explorer.


I think she’s picking her nose.  That‘s my little fairy princess, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  (Good luck, Melanie. I hope this glimpse into your future has been educational.)


10 thoughts on “Tinkerbell in training.

  1. Okay, I don’t know if this was intended to make me feel better or not, but. . . it actually did. And I’m not sure what that says about my frame of mind, but I’m glad you posted. Thanks, babe.

  2. Wow. I am expecting my first girl any day now and am scared out of my wits! I have always been a tom boy and I hate pink. I still haven’t bought her any clothes (we have been given some though, so she wont be completely naked) because every time I attempt it I am scared away by all the pink purple and frills. It is going to be a treat, though, I am sure.

  3. I’m in the same boat — my first girl is coming after two boys. My oldest has always been pretty mellow and easy-going. My second (19 mos younger) is just as you described — bouncy and slightly bi-polar. Either HAPPY!! or ANGRY!! but sweet as can be. And now, when he’ll be nearly four, he’ll get a little sister. We’re all pretty excited.

    I am excited for the pink and the cuddles and bows……..but I’m mostly excited for the mother-daughter bonding that I hope will take place as she grows. My own mother is my best friend, and the biggest reason I’ve wanted a daughter of my own for so long.

  4. Girls raised among boys are absolutely different than girls raised among girls. My Lucy, just turned six, is the ONLY girl anywhere, it seems. Three brothers, and let’s see… 7 boy cousins. Her one and only little girl cousin will belong to inkmom in a week’s time.

    And let me tell you… Lucy is TOUGH. She is absolutely girly and princessy and all that stuff, but man oh, man, she can hold her own in the midst of all those boys. Mostly she just tells them all what to do… and as if they are transfixed by her utterly different girlishness, they listen.

    I’m happy for Melanie. I don’t know what I’d do without a daughter. 🙂

  5. What a super fun post documenting the order and differences in your family. We’re the opposite. Two girls, 1 boy. He certainly didnt get his trucks and trains and cars and army guys from his sisters who are all about kitchen and dolls. My husband often makes comments (jokingly of course, and only to me) that I need to ‘man him up’ when he finds him playing with the dolls and kitchen stuff though. He’s only 2 so maybe when he’s 3 I’ll sign him up for some WWE to get his smack down on. 🙂

    • I have 5 boys and 4 girls. The boys all turned out “manly” and the girls all turned out “girley” (yes womanly, too, but that somehow doesn’t describe the young-ish fun they are to have around) The manly boys are all chain-saw and nail-gun people or nerds who are incredibly smart.

      It’s been a joy to have both. We’ve lived “after the manner of happiness” as it says in the Book of Mormon and had a great time raising them. Yes there have been some heartaches in there as well but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

      What an awesome time you young mothers have ahead of you. Cherish it all as it comes along regardless of the bad days. It IS all worth it.

  6. We have three very different girls–one plain Jane, one Tom-boy ballerina, and one girly-girl. But despite their differences, they all are so “girl” compared to their boy cousins. I am convinced that my husband is in for the biggest eye-opening of his life as we head into teenage years, as he is the brother of two boys. He has no idea what drama is heading our way because you really cannot prepare growing up in a houseful of boys. Poor Daddy.

  7. My 1st girl came after 3 boys. She is 2 and is into dollies and pink and frills. She also is adamant about choosing her own clothing and usually picks dresses. But she can also wield a light saber like no other, makes awesome gun noises and loves to play with cars and trucks. All I can say is she is a well rounded princess. I love it!

  8. This is precisely my experience with our second child, our first and only girl. They just come programmed for sweetness. And her strength is on the inside. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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