Twinkle, twinkle little snark.

Today I am reflecting on the forces of the universe, how the stars all align, the seasons come and go, and how there is some unwritten rule that your best intentions are going to get kicked in the pants by cruel changes of circumstance.  Some call it “Murphy’s Law.”  I like to call it bad words in my head.  Let me explain, with a lovely model I have invented called the IF, THEN, BUT Theory:

If  . . . Then . . . But . . .
Your children are temporarily entertaining themselves, You might think it would be a good time to get on the phone and call the friend you’ve been thinking of, Then you will be trampled by a herd of deranged possessed toddlers who demand your immediate attention.

You begin to feel ambitious and, heaven forbid, a little bit social,

You might decide to host a large dinner party at your house and send out all the invitations,

Then you and everyone in your family will get the flu, and then you’ll be two days away from the party wondering how in the world you’ll get everything ready because you haven’t even showered in four days, much less cleaned your house.

You and your husband have been working very hard to get your budget issues under control,

You might actually get to the point where you have eliminated all your debt and barely started your savings,

Then you’ll have a chimneysweep come to your house who says “Dear God!” out loud several times, and then you find out that you should have all burned to the ground by now, and it will cost you over $3000.00 to replace your fireplace.

You feel unusually productive one day, You might change all the bedding in the whole house:  strip it, wash it, replace it, and congratulate your self for your domestic feat of champions, Then all THREE of your children will pee unlimited fountains while they sleep and all the beds will be ruined that very night.

I’m just wondering if the stars line up like this on other people’s side of the universe or if I’m just the unluckiest* person on the planet.  Show me a little IF-THEN-BUT action in the comments, because misery loves company. 🙂

*And by unlucky, I mean more blessed than half the human race with a warm home, beautiful family, and the love of God, but still just a little grumpy lately.

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