So you ordered more slop, did you?

Well how’s this for a 3-course meal of it?…

1.  Yesterday, Natalie kept tossing a hot-pad at me while I was changing her diaper. (Feel free to unsubscribe right away if you are violently opposed to kitchen items being found at random in children’s bedrooms and stuffed animals and library books being found on kitchen floors.)  Once it flew past me, and I teased her by saying, “You missed me, you missed me, now you have to kiss me,” and I scooped her up and attacked her with kisses all over her face and neck.  She let out this delightful belly laugh that I’d never heard before and it cracked both of us up.  I said, “Was that funny?” She sighed and replied, “Yeah, I laughed like a grandpa.”  The rest of the day I laughed every time I thought about it.

2.  Today, we dropped off a wedding gift at the house of Clark’s Primary teacher.  She wasn’t home, so we left it with her little brother.  As we walked back to the car, Clark asked where she was, and I explained that she was probably at work.  Grant said, “Clark, did you know that some girls go to work?”  Clark said, “really?” and Grant affirmed, “Yep, it’s true.  Sometimes girls go to work.”  (Please be advised that this is observation based on their own reality and not because of some ultra-conservative sexist indoctrination.)   Clark thought for a few minutes while he buckled himself into his car seat and then piped up, “I wish mommy went to work so daddy could stay home with us.”  I would like to announce that my greatest moment of self-control today was not responding to that comment at all.  I did tell Matt later and he laughed (alone) and said it’s probably just because he lets them watch shows all the time.  This is not a funny story.  Do not say “LOL” in the comments.

3.  (Kristina P, you’re gonna love this one.)  Remember my brother Greg who won the Cheapest of the Cheap contest in Nashville?  I’m quoting here a story his wife Mindy told about the most hilarious thing that happened to him last week on the airplane:

“First of all, the life of Greg pretty much makes me laugh. He is just one in a million…truly! One of my favorite things about him is that he knows/cares very little about famous people. Let me explain. I just got off the phone with him( he is currently heading home from Mexico.)

On his first flight he sat in the very last row of the airplane and started chatting with a lady sitting next to him. They first talked about how the back of the plane smells because you’re right next to the lavatory…:) Anyway, she couldn’t get her new cell phone to work so of course Greg helped her out. Since Greg has been coveting the phone she just bought and is considering getting one for himself, he asked her if he could fiddle around with it for a while. She was more than happy to let him use it.

Meanwhile, he opened his laptop and on his screen saver was a 350Z (a Nissan sports car). She saw it and started talking about how she herself has one and is now wanting to order a 370Z with red leather interior. She also talked about 3 other cars she had purchased in the last year. Since Greg knows everything about cars (since he works with the creation of them)…they had a great conversation. Well, this lady nodded off (in her dark glasses and hair in a ponytail) and Greg felt a tap on his shoulder. The flight attendant asked him, “Would you mind handing me Beyonce’s empty cup?” Greg, still not sure what Beyonce’ even looked like but knew the name, started to laugh inside.

Hilarious! So Hilarious because that’s so Greg. We had a good laugh! I told him he should have sent me a text from her phone(could you imagine Greg/me having her phone number?)…yet he’s (respectfully) too innocent to do that…his wife on the other hand…not so much:) Life is good!”


I told him that when she made the comment about his computer screen he should have said, “If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.”  Am I the only person that thinks that’s funny?


16 thoughts on “So you ordered more slop, did you?

  1. I’ve always hoped for that experience your brother had – to meet a celebrity and not know it until somebody told me. SUH WEET! Anyway, your joke is hilarious. … 🙂

    Kids always think that they’d want dad to stay at home with them. In reality they’re glad that mom is home. Who do they want when they don’t feel good? Yeah. That’s right. MOM. That’s where you find out the truth, when they’re at their most vulnerable.

  2. I have often wondered if I would recognize someone famous if I saw them. I kind of doubt it because they wouldn’t have all the glamorous make-up, etc., and would be wearing those sunglasses. Funny to know he didn’t. She probably much appreciated the way he behaved — it could have been someone fawning all over her and bugging her.

  3. Re #2, my first three felt the same way when they were little. And now that one is an independent adult, she told me once to my face that she prefers to go to Dad with a problem because he actually suggests things to do, while I just freak out. 😦 No LOLing here.

    Am I the only one who is glad to hear that Beyonce flew coach?

  4. Yeah, I think I’m fixated on Beyonce flying coach. I read an interview where she said she was cheap, and now I have to believe that People magazine actually tells the truth.

  5. I actually have fantasies about sitting next to famous people on airplanes, and they feel so relaxed around me because I don’t act all fannish that they invite me to their wedding/beach house/arraignment. And I politely decline because that’s how NOT into celebrities I am. So then they ask for my cell number and call me every day until I have to get a restraining order against them. But then I apologize and we become best friends with a whole new level of understanding and respect between us.

    What? It could TOTALLY happen!

  6. I’m sorry but I HAVE to say lol about number two, but not because of the story, just the last two sentences.

    Beyonce was probably thinking that your brother was the best actor EVER pretending not to recognize her or care about her fame. 🙂 Sounds like she’s pretty down to earth herself. Great story.

  7. My kids are SO wanting their Dad today. Mostly after last night’s thunderstorm, and they all wanted comfort, but I was to busy huddling under my covers planning my funeral. By thursday, they have pretty much had it with me.
    I told Joel about the celelbrity story. Very Funny.

  8. When I read Greg’s Beyonce story, I about died laughing. So funny. Your joke is pretty great, too.
    My kids were complaining that Daddy is at a work conference and they are stuck with me on vacation. Their lives are so boring and horrible, they can hardly stand it. If it weren’t for Grandpa and his great talent of producing junk food at every hour, their lives wouldn’t be worth living, I’m pretty sure. They always ask me why they can’t have dad instead of me. I love it. 😦
    Natalie is too cute. Laughing like Grandpa. That’s classic.

  9. Yea, my favorite comment was after my kids and I had driven past a daycare center with lots of outdoor toys and they asked what it was. I explained that when a mom and dad both have to go to work their kids go to a daycare to be baby sat. “But you guys are lucky because mom and dad can take turns going to work so you can be home with us all day.” The next day– “Mom, I wish you would go to work so we could go to daycare.” Good thing I am making all those money sacrifices to be home!:)

  10. 1. I love her and her big belly laugh! And I love your line about unsubscribing if we’re offended. As if…

    2. I’m certain they’d change their minds after about a week of that “novelty”. Think Mr. Mom…

    3. Hilarious. Especially because that would probably happen to me. Only I would have buried my nose in a book the whole time. I’m terrible at making small talk with strangers, famous or not!

  11. Have your little girl call my little girl. After a wild turn of events, I found myself being the breadwinner and my hubby is now at home. Little girl is NOT loving it. I get asked frequently if I have to go to work today. Being with Daddy is certainly better than her being in a daycare, but he’s no mommy.

    Loved the Beyonce story! It reminds of one of those celeb magazines (US weekly?) that has a section about how “celebrities are just like us”. (Yeah, right.) I can see the caption on the picture of your brother sitting by Beyonce–“They sit in the back of the plane in COACH!” How funny…

  12. The first one made me giggle. I refused to give in to giggle temptation on the second because I have SO been there (sigh). And the last totally threw me for a loop. Crazy! I can see a celeb flying coach, but you think she’d have wrangled a better seat!

  13. 1. I love spontaneous laughter…especially “grandpa” laughter. 😀

    2. Yeah, my boys have said that too. In fact, now that we have 2 cars (we shared one vehicle for 8 years!!), my boys always say, “Can we ride with Dad?” when we need to take separate vehicles. At first I was sad, but now I love that I can blast my stereo all alone. 😉

    3. I’m blown away by that story. It just puts a warm spot in my heart for Beyonce…she is just like us! 🙂 Also, when I was a flight attendant, I served champagne to a girl (in coach) who I SWEAR was Cameron Diaz. B)

  14. I love that story about your brother and Beyonce! Too funny. There are some people I would recognize and others that I wouldn’t and sometimes I wouldn’t recognize them because they didn’t have makeup or look like they do on tv.

  15. 1. That first story is SO cute. “Laughed like a grandpa.” Wonderful.

    2. I’ve tried twice already to figure out how to say what I’m trying to say about this (and not just because it’s late and I’m tired, but because it’s hard to say) but I think (and have heard) (and experienced) that it’s pretty common for the dad to be more in the role of playing with the kids (which is really good/developmentally beneficial for kids) and for the mom to get the more straight-man role. Which is not to say that you’re not fun and playful with your kids, because it’s obvious that you are, which might be why I’m having such a hard time wording this. I guess I’m trying to say that it might be less fun to be cast by kids in the straight-man role, but they need us to be that and they WILL eventually value us for it deeply, even if it sounds like a fun fantasy to just play with Dad all the time. Anyway, I think so. (Maybe it really is just that it’s late.)

    3. I deliberately did not scroll down to see the photo because I didn’t want to spoil the punch line for myself. And I was sure it was going to be a great story because the thrift stories were so great, too. I LOVED the description of his conversation with her. So funny.

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