Facing your own demons

I believe that the hardest part of being a mother is learning things about yourself that you didn’t want to know.droppedimage1

Before I was a mother . . .

  • I did not know that after a full day of picking up toys and hounding others to do the same, a slew of inappropriate thoughts and words would come rushing into my mind when I stepped on a Mr. Potato Head piece at 2 a.m.

  • I had no idea that when I was awakened by a flashlight in my retina, spilled yogurt on the floor and the smell of a potty-training accident, it would take almost an entire day before I could let the angry feelings go.

  • I never thought that I would breathe out threatenings like a fiery dragon when my 4 1/2 year old still wouldn’t poop on the potty.

  • I wasn’t aware that when I function on almost no sleep, even the tiniest inconvenience can tip my scales and make me the wicked witch of the homestead.

  • I thought I was a morning person.

  • I even thought I was a patient and laid-back person. (laugh out loud)

  • I was punctual and responsible, and got really annoyed when other people were late.  I think I’ve been on time to 6 events in the last 5 years.

  • I certainly didn’t think I’d ever be one of those moms whose entire house is full of chaos and clutter.

(And don’t get me started on personal hygiene, and exercise and beauty routines …)

But the fact is, I did become a mom and I was forced to face some truths about myself that were quite shocking and disagreeable.  Whenever new moms ask for advice, I always say, “Be prepared to learn things about yourself that you don’t like.  It’s hard, but you’ll figure it out.”  Of course this realization is wonderful, too, because it’s exactly what makes us turn to our Savior for help.  Learning that we are not as strong as we thought we were makes us recognize how much we need Him.  I always loved the scripture in Ether 12:27, and even more now that I’m a mom:  “And if men [or women, or moms] come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”  I just love that.  Given the list above, how could I not?

(This entry was originally posted on August 23, 2008.  I’m trying to recreate my lost archives.)