Category Archives: Divinity

The spiritual side of motherhood.

My morning prayer

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Dear Heavenly Father,

I’m not sure I have the energy for today, so I’m asking for your help.  Please bless Natalie to take her medicine without screaming, gagging and throwing up so she can get better.  I need courage to start the job of helping my children pick up the playroom.  Again.  Help Matt to be ready for his finals and get done all the papers and work he needs to do so he can graduate in January.  I need my husband back in the evenings so that I don’t harm my children when I put them to bed by myself every night.  How do you do it, Heavenly Father?  How do you not lose your temper when no one listens to you?  Help me to be more like you.

Every time I think about all the laundry I need to do, I want to run away.  I know it’s a silly thing, but please give me the discipline I need to actually start it.  I’m thankful I have a washing machine.  I remember washing all my clothes by hand in Argentina, and I know I’m blessed, but I still need help to tackle the job ahead of me.  Help me to remember that my children are not adults, and they are not like me.  They don’t care if the house looks as clean today as it did yesterday.  Help me to be patient and understanding, but still teach them responsibility.

I’m running out of Thanksgiving leftovers, so I should probably start cooking again.  Help me to plan and be resourceful so I don’t get overwhelmed at dinner time when the kids are all crazy and I have no ideas.  I’m thankful we have food.  And a warm house.  Seriously, Heavenly Father, I’m so glad that I have a place to stay warm and comfortable when the weather is so cold.  Please bless those who aren’t as lucky; help them find the shelter and care they need.

Finally, Heavenly Father, help me to relax and face today with a good attitude.   Forgive me for my mistakes and childish pouting.  Help me be worthy of the blessings of my covenants because I need them.  Help me to remember how much I love my children and how much you do too. Bless me with the patience and kindness and charity I need to give them a good example and teach them all they need to know.  Help me to turn to you again when I start to forget.  I’m sure we’ll talk again really soon.  I love you.

Amen.

Happy Thanksgiving (How’s that for an original title?)

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Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone.  I’m signing off for the week in favor of housecleaning and food preparation  (I realize that this should be a regular habit, but this week it seems more pressing).  Enjoy down time with your families and loved ones.  Among many things, I’m grateful for the community of like-minded friends I’ve found through blogging (especially those of you I know in real life who tolerate my blogging), and wish you all a week of peace, love, good food and good company.

Here are some quotes I’ve collected this week about gratitude.  It’s overwhelming to think how blessed we truly are.

” We can lift ourselves, and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude.” — Thomas S. Monson

“He who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious”. — Doctrine and Covenants 78:19

“A grateful heart is a beginning of greatness. It is an expression of humility. It is a foundation for the development of such virtues as prayer, faith, courage, contentment, happiness, love, and well-being.” — James E. Faust

“Gratitude is a mark of a noble soul and a refined character. We like to be around those who are grateful. They tend to brighten all around them. They make others feel better about themselves. They tend to be more humble, more joyful, more likable.” — Joseph B. Wirthlin

“Mercies and blessings come in different forms–sometimes as hard things. Yet the Lord said, ‘Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things’ (D&C 59:7). All things means just that: good things, difficult things–not just some things. He has commanded us to be grateful because He knows being grateful will make us happy. This is another evidence of His love.” –Bonnie D. Parkin

“A happy home is but an earlier heaven. President George Albert Smith asked, ‘Do we want our homes to be happy? If we do, let them be the abiding place of prayer, thanksgiving and gratitude.’” –Thomas S. Monson

If you haven’t seen this yet, it’s a must see:

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Congrats to Lara, who won the FHE Adventures giveaway!  If you didn’t win a copy, but would still like to get one, you can order here.

The rescuing power of gratitude

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“Mercies and blessings come in different forms–sometimes as hard things. Yet the Lord said, ‘Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things’ (D&C 59:7). All things means just that: good things, difficult things–not just some things. He has commanded us to be grateful because He knows being grateful will make us happy. This is another evidence of His love.”  –Bonnie D. Parkin, “Gratitude: A Path to Happiness,” Ensign, May 2007, 35

I have a problem where I internalize news stories a little too much and get so disturbed that I almost lose my faith in humanity.  (I know, I know, stop reading the news!)  Last night, I went to bed after reading a news item that gnawed at my guts.  Even though it was late and I was very tired, I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t get it out of my mind.  I felt sad and shocked and discouraged and horrible sympathy and a little anger and, basically, I felt heavy and sick to my stomach.  As I lay there feeling gross, this thought popped into my mind:  Count your blessings.

So I did.  I began deliberately focusing on gratitude— for Matt’s job, our home, warmth, a roof, three sleeping children, good health, the list went on . . .

This exercise literally began to heal me.  I felt a warmth come over me, a sense of peace and well-being, and a little insight into Heavenly Father’s acute awareness of me and people in the news.  And even though I couldn’t make sense of it, I knew it was all okay, and He is in charge, and people are cared for in ways we don’t see or expect or even understand.  My whole body and mind relaxed, and I was able to drift off to sleep.

When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done. . . .

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

What better time than the week of Thanskgiving to reflect on all we’ve been given?  And it’s always a good time to be healed, rescued, and made glad.

(If you haven’t entered in the Adventures with FHE giveaway, there’s still time until Sunday night.)

Credit where credit’s due (and a giveaway)

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My readers are so cool.

A while back, I wrote a post that included a short video clip with me and Grant in it.  Some of my readers said nice things about me, even going so far as to say I was pretty.  Well, yesterday I received a comment on that post by “Fefe” who wrote the following:

“very good but its the most boringest video i have ever seen in my whole life. and i don’t think you are pritty at all your ugly.”

Fefe, your point is well taken, and you may be right; however, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I can’t help but mention that I’m grateful I’m literate, and that I hold the key to the delete button on my blog.

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My husband Matt is one of the greatest guys ever and I truly love him.  (Go read our love story if you don’t believe it.)  He even reads my blog and still loves me.  I’d like to thank him for making our family Christmas card photo shoot so smooth and seamless the other day.  I am a lucky woman.

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Rebecca Irvine (formerly known as “Scripture Mom”) is one sharp woman, and I’ve loved getting to know her a little through blogging.  She wrote a family scripture study guide called Adventures with the Word of God, which I really liked– so many great cut-and-paste ideas for enhancing family scripture time.  Now, her second book has been released and I think you should check it out, especially if you’re interested in having a collection of ready-made materials for Family Home Evening. “Family Home Evening Adventures can help your family learn to love and enjoy the scriptures together. Each monthly theme uses fun seasonal ideas to promote an appreciation of scripture study, teach basic gospel principles, and provide wholesome family activities.”  It provides one complete lesson for each month and a guide of resources for the rest of the month.  If your children are small like mine, and you need shorter lessons, I think her lessons could be broken up into segments and then used for several weeks throughout the month.  Nice.

I really love this quote by James E. Faust about the urgency of taking time for family home evening and gospel study in our homes:

“I wonder if having casual and infrequent family home evening will be enough in the future to fortify our children with sufficient moral strength. In the future, infrequent family scripture study may be inadequate to arm our children with the virtue necessary to withstand the moral decay of the environment in which they will live. Where in the world will the children learn chastity, integrity, honesty, and basic human decency if not at home? These values will, of course, be reinforced at church, but parental teaching is more constant.”

Well, the lovely Rebecca is offering a giveaway of a copy of her book.  Hooray!  Just mention in the comments if you would like to be entered in the giveaway, and a winner will be selected at random on Sunday evening.

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Almost done here; I just wanted to point you to a couple links.

Shelf Reliance makes food storage products.  I’ve never bought any of their food items, but I do own one of their big can-rotation shelf systems, which I really like.  They are a tiny bit pricey, but I noticed on their blog that starting next week, they’re having a huge giveaway every day and actually giving away some of the shelving systems and some other great stuff.  This week, they’re offering half-off specials.  If you’re interested, you can check it out here.

My laurel advisor, Marci, has been such a sweet supporter of my blog. Speaking of food storage, I remember her as the woman who had canned M&Ms because she didn’t want to go without real necessities in a crisis.  Anyway, she emailed me this link that I thought was a great idea for Thanksgiving time.  Xerox is offering free cards/postcards to be sent to troops overseas.  All you have to do is go here: Let’s Say Thanks.  You just select a card, write a note on it from your family, and then Xerox will print them out and send them to a random soldier at no cost.  Easy, and for a wonderful cause.

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Finally, Kim, another beloved reader (who always makes great comments on the GCBC posts) invited me to participate in a meme/award.  It’s 35 questions about me that I have to answer with only one word.  I can’t imagine that anyone can handle reading anything more about me, but if you’re looking for an excuse to procrastinate your household chores just a little bit longer, you can read my answers here.  Thanks, Kim!

I hate playing with my children.

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There, I said it.

Don't Break the IceI hate tea parties.
I hate Stratego, and Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders, and Hungry Hungry Hippos, Lucky Ducks, and especially Don’t Break the Ice.
I hate pretending I’m an animal.
I can’t stand holding little toys and making them have conversations with each other.
I really don’t enjoy activities where all the cushions and pillows from my couches are spread haphazardly on the floor throughout my house.
I would rather clean out my closets than use a silly, high voice and make Webkinz tell jokes to each other while they bonk each other on the head.

 

I am a horrible person.
And I’m not even being sarcastic.

This is exactly why I was afraid to have children in the first place. I knew that I was not endowed with the type of personality that would ever land me a job in a preschool or day-care environment. My gifts and talents seem to be best geared toward the few-steps-past-elementary-school and beyond kind of crowd.

And yet here I am.
A mother of three small children. They love to play.
And they want me to play with them, which I am as excited to do as I am to train for a marathon. Sometimes it feels that hard.

Part of the reason I had them in bulk was so that they would play with each other, and I must confess that usually that’s a good strategy. But they still want me, and I got the feeling today that maybe they wouldn’t fight me so much on the things that I want them to do if I were more accommodating occasionally on the things they want to do.

(You’re allowed to say things like “duh.” I can’t hear you.)

Earlier this week, I read this post by Erin where she talked about play being a child’s language of love. (I felt a little too guilty to comment.)

Then today, as I was cleaning up the playroom, I found this quote on the floor that used to be taped to the television before we implemented our what-you-will-surely-think-is-crazy rule of no TV on weekdays (which by the way has been way less dreadful than I feared it would be, but I’ll save that for another post if you even happen to care). The quote by Elder M. Russell Ballard says:

“Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.”

So, rather than just feel guilty, I went back and looked at his talk about motherhood that the quote came from, and found this phrase there:

“There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children.”

So I tried to focus on my own skills for a minute. This is how I play with my children: I sing songs with them. I wrestle. I read them books. Lots and lots of books. I like to go to the zoo or aquarium or museum with them. I like to answer their questions about the world around them.  Sometimes we make cookies. I like to play outside with them (when it’s warm). I print out pictures for them to color and then I applaud their amazing art skills. I ask them questions about their friends and their day.

Maybe I’m not a horrible person.
I can do better because, come on, how hard is it really to play a dumb game for five minutes? And they would love it. So in some ways, I need to stop making excuses and “sacrifice” with just a little more joy. But, I can also focus on my strengths and “play” them up.

And though I was nervous about having children, and certainly nervous about my own abilities, I have never regretted the choice to be a mother.  I love these three kids more than I love anything else in the whole world.  Sure, my life might be “easier” without them, but it would also be much, much emptier.  They deserve more of me, and I deserve more of the lovey-huggy-warm stuff that automatically happens when I give them more of myself.

But I still might throw away Don’t Break the Ice.