Category Archives: Divinity

The spiritual side of motherhood.

Time to come clean: Let’s talk about Internet addiction.

Posted in About Blogs, Diapers, Divinity by

The Lord knows that I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, so when He wants me to learn something, he hands it to me in small, digestible pieces . . .  EVERYwhere I turn for days and weeks, even months at a time.  (He’s really so patient while He waits for me to get it.)  I will give an inventory of his subtle messages just in the last 10 days or so.

  1. Elder Bradley Foster in General Conference:  ” . . . a distraction doesn’t have to be evil to be effective.”
  2. Sister Julie Beck:  “There is much distraction and not enough peace and joy. . . But with personal revelation, [a mother] can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently. . . . mothers can feel help from the Spirit even when tired, noisy children are clamoring for attention,  . . . Being in the right places allows us to receive guidance. It requires a conscious effort to diminish distractions, but having the Spirit of revelation makes it possible to prevail over opposition and persist in faith through difficult days and essential routine tasks.”
  3. Elder Robert D. Hales:  “Mother, Father, are you in there? Grandpa, Grandma, are you there? Being there means understanding the hearts of our youth and connecting with them. And connecting with them means not just conversing with them but doing things with them too. . . . I would hope that we would bear our testimonies so that our children will know where our hearts are and that we love them. The greatest love and the greatest teachings should be in our homes.”
  4. My house needs attention.  When I resurface from the office and look around at the messes, I know my time could have been better spent.
  5. A friend gave a wonderful talk at church about time management that really resonated with me.  (Hi, SP!)
  6. I remembered this post that I wrote almost seven months ago, (and it was a good one) but it’s a lesson I still have not completely learned.
  7. I stumbled upon this post.
  8. I caught myself having only half-attentive phone conversations because I was trying to read email at the same time.
  9. I want to start exercising regularly again, but I  feel like there’s not enough time in the day.  Why is that?  (pause for burning self-reflection)

Tell me I’m not the only one who sees some of myself in this cartoon.
I don’t even own all those gadgets, but still. At some level, there’s a sad truth in there.

I’m pretty good at monitoring my children’s screen time, but when I get online, it’s kind of a chain reaction of “tasks*” and before I know it, I’m not proud of how much time I spent.

*Any blog comments?  I need to check email and see if they wrote me back about that fireside assignment.  Oh, let me see if Matt transferred my budget into my account yet.  And . . . a quick look at Reader to see if any blog friends have posted anything new.  Ha ha.  Better comment on that.  Okay, that’s good.  Before I sign off, I’m just going to check Facebook really quick.  I don’t think I’ve updated my status for several days.  Oh look, one of my old young women is engaged.   Check out her fiancee’s page to see if he’s a loser.  And all his photos.  Hey, he’s friends with a girl I taught at EFY; I wonder what she’s up to these days.  . . .  Oops, forgot to do my status.  Type-ity type type:  “Avoiding laundry.”  Check email ONE more time.  I don’t think I ever read that attachment that Shantel sent me yet.  Whoa, newsflash: there was an earthquake in Utah?  Better check that out.  And I forgot I wanted to look at the menu for our date night restaurant so I know how much to budget for dinner . . . .

I think you get the idea.

So I’m going to be proactive about this little, ahem, problem.  I found this link, and it reviews the top ten internet controls software.  These are programs that control not only content, but also let you set daily and weekly time limits for individual users, including YOURSELF:

http://parental-time-control-software-review.toptenreviews.com/

It looked like this one was really good, but it doesn’t have a Mac version that I can see:  http://www.kidswatch.com/ I also found this one that has a Windows and Mac version:  http://www.netnanny.com/

And here’s a link for some free downloads for simple timers and filters.  (As with all free shareware, make sure you have a good anti-virus program in place, just in case.)

http://www.sofotex.com/download/Security/Parental_Control/

(A special note for my mother, mother-in-law, and any other concerned relatives:  Don’t worry.  I don’t spend all day on the Internet and I’m still feeding and bathing my children.  Really.  My life would just be a lot more efficient if I spent less time on the computer, so I’m working on it.)

And that’s it.  I’m just admitting my own willpower might not be enough to keep me constantly focused on the things that matter most, so I’m going to use tools and rules and accountability and such to help me.  And friends like you, who I’m betting will get this and will offer great advice.  So thanks.

Why children’s prayers are better than adults’ prayers

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Since I am a horrible person, I sometimes roll my eyes at the “prayers” I hear given over the pulpit.  They are sometimes sermons, sometimes poetic declarations, sometimes dramatic presentations, sometimes obviously scripted, and sometimes downright over-the-top long.  (Notice the abundant use of sometimes.  I’m not trying to make a sweeping generalization about all prayers.)  I remember a few years back in General Conference, Elder Cree-L Kofford got up and said a one-sentence prayer asking the Spirit to be with us.  It was awesome.  It may have been right after Elder Russell M. Nelson taught “Lessons from the Lord’s Prayers:”

A closing prayer in a Church meeting need not include a summary of each message and should not become an unscheduled sermon. Private prayers can be as long as we want, but public prayers ought to be short supplications for the Spirit of the Lord to be with us or brief declarations of gratitude for what has transpired.

So it’s about a thousand levels of refreshing to hear my children say their prayers at the end of the day.  Sure they seem super short, and perhaps even a little thoughtless, but take a close look at one of my recent favorites from Clark:

Dear Heavenly Father, Please bless me that I won’t have any bad dreams.  But if I do, I won’t be mad.  But please bless me that I won’t have bad dreams.  Please help us that our days will be great.  In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

There’s much to learn in that prayer.  Children just get it sometimes.

Another installment of “Dear Wise Readers”

Posted in Diapers, Divinity by

Dear wise readers,
This is a post where I temporarily stop pretending that I have all the answers to all the questions in the universe, and I direct some of the more important ones to you, because even General Conference didn’t answer all of my questions (and I was so sure one of the apostles might have tips on muffin pans).  Let’s start there, shall we?

  1. I hate my muffin pans.  The “no-stick” stuff isn’t, and the pans get rusted where it scrapes off, and they’re impossible to clean and keep clean.  Does anyone have a recommendation for muffin pans that they love?  I would prefer for them to be dishwasher safe, but maybe there’s no such thing.
  2. I’m having a little bit of a blog identity crisis.  My entire blog (including the title) is built on the premise that I’ve been changing diapers every day since 2003, and now that’s . . . well, it’s not true anymore.  (Knock on wood.)  All of my children are now potty trained, and only the youngest wears pull-ups at nighttime.  This new development makes me want to sing the Hallelujah chorus to strangers on the street, but as far as blogging goes, it kind of makes me feel like a fraud.  I’ve thought about changing the name of the blog, but that doesn’t seem right because the whole point is the juxtaposition of our daily, menial tasks with our greater, divine mission of motherhood.  What do you think?  (Anyone who suggests that I should fix this problem by having another baby is hereby banned from my blog.  Banned! You hear me?)
  3. Right now I’m feeling a deep love-hate relationship with Cadbury.  That’s not really a question, but I needed to get it off my hips chest.
  4. Do you feel as much joy as I do that Spring is actually in the air?  There’s something so exhilarating about sunshine and warmth after a long cold winter.  (This excitement is counterbalanced by a lovely reminder that soon my body will have to wear a swimsuit.  Probably in public.  Refer to #3.)
  5. All joking aside, I’m anticipating that I will soon experience something I like to call “post-Conference depression.”  It’s the point where a few weeks after General Conference, you realize that you are still the same, lazy person you were before you got all pumped up and energized by the talks.  Anyone who reads my blog knows I love General Conference.  I love it.  I feel like it’s half pep rally/half spiritual boot camp— a veritable showering of truth, encouragement, reproach, exhortation, and Spirit.  I feel brought down and lifted high at the same time.  My heart and my mind have a continual dialogue at Conference, and where they come together in harmony, they leave goals and hopes and iron-clad intentions.  And then a few weeks later, I feel much like the man who asked President Uctdorf for some advice:

I wrote back to him and lovingly suggested a few specific things he could do that would align his life more closely with the teachings of the restored gospel. To my surprise, I heard back from him only a week later. The essence of his letter was this: “I tried what you suggested. It didn’t work. What else have you got?”

Wisely, he entitled this particular section of his talk “The Path of Patience,” and he then explained:

“Brothers and sisters, we have to stay with it. We don’t acquire eternal life in a sprint—this is a race of endurance. We have to apply and reapply the divine gospel principles. Day after day we need to make them part of our normal life.“

So that’s my question:  How do you do that?  How do you take the long list of great things you want to do and actually PUT them in your daily life?  I recognize the reality that Sis. Beck alluded to in this Saturday’s talk: (paraphrased) “There is not time to do all the things your heart desires to do,” and her counsel to seek the direction of the Spirit to identify your priorities (SUCH great advice!), but even then, I need some tips to transition me from the “decided” stage to the “doing” stage.  Come on wise readers, lay it on me.

p.s.  I’m back from Spring Break now, and hope to drop in on more of your blogs soon, where I’ve been obviously (or serendipitously) absent.  🙂

Spring Break, General Conference Packets and other conference preparation strategies

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UPDATE:  For anyone coming to this post looking for a packet for the upcoming conference, you can click here for more links.

—————–

So I’m taking this whole “Spring Break” thing pretty literally and may be more absent here in the blog world for a couple weeks.  I’ll still pop in for General Conference Book Club stuff because (hello!) Conference is right around the corner and it’s one of my favorite parts of Springtime. (Psst, don’t tell anyone, but I might actually go to General Conference.  *squeal*)

In the meantime, I wanted to put up a few great tools to help out with General Conference Preparation.

For children and youth:

Melanie Day at Sugardoodle.com put together some really great packets for small children (mostly coloring), older children (both my kindergartener and 1st grader could do most of it), and for youth (I think adults could use it too!).  They are all specific to the 2010 Spring General Conference and are great for helping your children to pay attention and stay occupied during the talks.  You can find the packets by clicking on this link, then scroll down and download whatever version you want. (There are also several extra links to G.C. resources at the bottom of the page.)

Here’s another site with a lot of packets, cards, and other resources.

Finally, here is an article from the Ensign that I contributed to a while back:  “Preparing Our Children for General Conference.” I can honestly say that my children LOVE conference and look forward to it and usually surprise us with how much they do pay attention.  The article includes some games and activities that have worked smashingly for us in the past.  I hope you can find something helpful there.

For yourself:

This is a pattern I’ve tried to follow in the past, and I’ve learned that it makes my conference experience feel meaningful and personalized.  I’m going to try and start the process now.  Join me?  I’m sure you have some of your own strategies, so I’d love to hear your ideas too.

  1. Pray everyday that my mind and heart will be prepared for any specific message that the Lord wants me to know.
  2. Read my scriptures and/or recent conference talks every day to keep me in the habit of inviting and recognizing the Spirit.
  3. Think about questions I would like answers to, topics I find myself struggling with, and write them down. Include them specifically in my prayers as I do #1.

Happy preparing.  And happy Spring break.

My defining moment. No, really.

Posted in Diapers, Divinity by

Just the other day, my blog got featured as the best of “hot off the press” on the homepage of WordPress.com.  I have no idea how it happened, but it created an insane influx of traffic to Diapers and Divinity.  By 8:00 a.m., I had well over 500 hits, and finished out the day at unprecedented numbers.  I felt temporarily famous, and it was pretty cool.  Most of the feedback was positive, but at 11:00 a.m., I received this comment in my Inbox.  I’m assuming the writer had perused the blog and my profile and such.  (I edited out one phrase for the sake of decency.)

So you ended up being just a mother.

Just another mother, like a chimp, a cow, an elephant, a whale, just another mother, like an insect, or an octopus, or a worm.  Just another mother.

Your kids will not thank you, your husband will not like you, your own mother will pity you for making her own same mistake.

Just another mother.

For a moment of frenzy, of uterine voracity, irrational and irreversible, you destroyed your body, your beauty, and your own intellect.

Parental-brain-atrophy-syndrome, where your brain biologically adjusts to the need of your infants, descending at their own subhuman level, with just one dimension, food, or perhaps two dimensions, food and feces. Continue reading →