Sometimes I cook stuff. Don’t be afraid.

This blog is probably not listed in your blog roll under “Homemaking Skills.”  I can’t imagine why not.  I will have you know that I have kept my house clean for 4 full days in a row.  This has given me a new confidence, and I’m now ready to impart some great wisdom from my new-found throne of “Housewife/Goddess Divine.”

As much as I love restaurants (and I DO love restaurants), we only eat out maybe 3 times a month— that includes a quick drive-thru lunch for the kids on a busy day.  So I cook.  I’m not a great cook.  I’m a terrible recipe follower, severely threatened by many steps and/or many ingredients.  I make unauthorized substitutions and modifications to almost every recipe, and my family simply must tolerate the results.  To my credit, dinner rarely turns out inedible.  Usually our meals are built out of whatever ingredients I have on hand in an attempt to build something similar to a real dish I know I’ve had or tried before.  (I swear it’s not nearly as mad scientist as it sounds.)  Anyway . . .

I’m going to share with you 3 of my favorite recipes made of ingredients you will most likely have at home (unless you’re one of those people who runs to the grocery store several times a week to have varied, fresh food items on hand at all times.  In that case, God bless you, you don’t need my recipes, you can use the regular-people recipes in fancy cookbooks.).

The first recipe, Salsa Chicken and Black Bean Soup, is a recipe I found online about a year ago.  It’s a crock-pot recipe that I LOVE.  I seriously think it’s better than any soup I’ve ever had in a restaurant.  Love, love it.  Behold:

–1 pound chicken (I used frozen breast tenderloins)
–2 cans black beans, drained and rinsed  (you can also use 1 c. dry beans, but you’ll need to soak them overnight, plus increase slow-cooker time to NINE hours on high to get beans all the way soft)
–4 cups chicken broth (You can also use water/bullion)
–1 cup frozen corn
–1 jar prepared salsa (16 oz)
–1 1/2 tsp cumin
–1/2 cup sour cream (to stir in at the end)
–shredded cheddar cheese, avocado slices, cilantro (all optional)

In a  4-quart or larger slow cooker, add beans to the crockpot. Put in the chicken, and add the broth and salsa. Pour in the corn and add the cumin. Stir, but don’t disturb the beans—let them stay at the bottom of the pot, closest to the heating element.

Cook on low for 6-8 hours, or on high for 4-5–similar to normal soup-cooking time.

If you’d like to thicken the broth (I did this),  scoop out 2 cups of the soup and carefully blend in your blender. Stir the mixture back into the crockpot.  You’ll want to shred or cut up the chicken into bite-size pieces.

Stir in the 1/2 cup of sour cream before serving, and garnish with shredded cheese and avocado slices.  Also great with tortilla chips or corn chips.

See? Doesn’t that sound delicious?  The next two recipes are dishes that I made up with my own ingredients and, if I do say so myself, they turned out quite yummy.  I even used them at my meal-exchange group and people did not drop out of the group (a high compliment indeed).

Chicken Pot Pie

Filling:
2 chicken breasts, cooked and diced (or any kind of cooked chicken or turkey)
2 cups frozen mixed vegetables

1 can cream of chicken soup (Campbells is best)
1 can cream of potato soup

1/2 tsp. thyme
Salt and pepper to taste

2 9-inch deep dish pie crusts (You can use the frozen or refrigerated kind or (!) make your own.)
In a 9-inch pie pan, fill one crust with the soup mixture, then overlay the other crust on top. Crimp/pinch to seal and trim edges. Cut a few slits on top to let the steam escape.  You can also brush a milk/egg mixture on the crust to make it more “golden” when it bakes.

Bake 30-35 minutes until golden, longer if frozen (until heated through). 425 degrees

Meatball Stroganoff (8 servings)
2 cans (10 oz.) cream of mushroom soup
1 can (12 oz.) evaporated milk
generous 1/2 tsp. black pepper
generous 1/2 tsp. Italian seasoning
salt to taste (+/- 1 tsp.)
8 oz. frozen peas
16+ meatballs  (I used frozen pre-cooked meatballs, Italian or plain)
Sour cream
Mix soup, milk, spices, then add peas and meatballs.  Cook over medium heat in a saucepan until it come to a boil.  Reduce heat to low, cover and let simmer at least until meatballs are heated through  (can simmer longer for flavor).  Before serving, add 1/2 – 1 cup sour cream, stir in, and remove from heat.
Serve over any pasta (or rice).

So there you have it.  Now go forth and make dinner.  If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll put on an apron and snap beans and then dust all my furniture and hang out my laundry to dry.
. . .
What?!
Ha ha ha ha HA! *snort*

My favorite comma

Matt tried to give me a pep talk this morning in our bathroom before he left for work.  (I think I looked as tired as I felt.)  “You can do it.  Be a laundry demon!  You’re a super mom.  You’re awesome.”  I looked at him out of the side of my eyes and said, “Go walk from here to the kitchen and look all around you the whole way.  Imagine everything you see is your job to take care of today, and then tell me how awesome it feels.”  He smiled.  He knows.

I started thinking about Sister Beck’s recent talk (I already blogged about it some) about the doctrine of the family, and her expressed concern that the youth are not confident about forming families.  I thought about how mornings like mine, and kitchens like mine, might be the reason for some of their apprehension.  I get it.  It’s daunting.  It’s certainly not convenient or easy.  But my mind kept reflecting on Sister Beck’s affirmation that the business of family is a “faith-based work” and that Heavenly Father helps us to do it.  We can’t do family, or anything that really matters, without his help.  We need faith; We have to believe it matters and we have to believe He’ll help us.  And He does.  I’ve marveled recently that despite my February funk (my lazy eye), He has not left me comfortless.  I can think of times that I know He stepped in and saved the day as an answer to weak, mumbled, random prayers.  He has blessed me when I have not endeavored to deserve His blessings.  I think this is why:

Faith is a gift, you know.  And like all spiritual gifts, we have access to it when we want it and seek it, or even simply hope for it.  There’s a scripture that I love in the Doctrine and Covenants section 46 because it uses my favorite comma in the scriptures— a comma that brings blessings within my reach by qualifying a statement that seems otherwise impossible.  In this section, the Lord encourages us to develop spiritual gifts.  He mentions many of them (such as testimony, Spirit, faith, wisdom and miracles), and then He says about these gifts— I’ll highlight the part with my favorite comma—

For verily I say unto you, they are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep all my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do; that all may be benefited that seek or that ask of me . . .

Even when we are in a funk, even when we know there is more we should be doing but just can’t quite get it all together, God knows our hearts, our desires, knows that we seek to love Him and keep all his commandments, and He blesses us with gifts we feel we don’t deserve.  He gives us faith to continue doing the important work we do.  Whether we recognize those gifts or not, they are still gifts and they keep us going.  We do the faith-based work of family because God blesses us with the faith we need when he knows we want to do what’s right.

So I’m off to see what the “laundry demon” in me can do, with a little help of course.  Maybe God will give me the gift to not notice the kitchen while I’m on my way.

Momsensical Mad Libs Mania

Thanks to those of you who played along with Friday’s Mad Libs post.  (Yes, even impatient AmberWaves. :))  Here’s the text you can use to plug in all your answers.

Job posting: Motherhood

WANTED:  One (1) lady to work full time as mother in a (2) household.  Job duties include:

Doing laundry (3) for at least (4) people in a washing machine the size of a (5).

Coming up with something to cook for dinner every night even when you only have (6) in your cupboards.

Cleaning the house until the floor’s so clean you could (7) on it.

Bathing and dressing children.  (Experience working with (8) is very helpful.)

Creating and maintaining a discipline plan to ensure that children (9) (10).

You don’t have to do it all alone.  You could also make a (11) chore chart and sit back and watch while the children (12).

You should probably be paid about $(13) an hour for this work, but you’ll do it for free since it makes your heart say “(14).”

(15) people need not apply.

Oh, and remember that in heaven, you’ll get lots and lots of (16).

Just for fun, I picked some of my favorite answers among all of your entries and put together a communal job posting that brings a smile to my face.  I linked each term to the clever lady who provided it.

Job posting: Motherhood

WANTED:  One ridonkulous lady to work full time as mother in a primal household.  Job duties include:

Doing laundry wistfully for at least 47* people in a washing machine the size of a tractor.

Coming up with something to cook for dinner every night even when you only have garlic, almond extract and brown sugar in your cupboards.

Cleaning the house until the floor’s so clean you could germinate on it.

Bathing and dressing children.  (Experience working with sea lions* is very helpful.)

Creating and maintaining a discipline plan to ensure that the children bemoan, tease and howl cheerfully.

You don’t have to do it all alone.  You could also make a polka-dotted chore chart and sit back and watch while the children laugh.

You should probably be paid about $99 an hour for this work, but you’ll do it for free since it makes your heart say “Whoa, Nelly!

Beautiful people need not apply.

Oh, and remember that in heaven, you’ll get lots and lots of babies.

(*Thanks to Jan and Atzimba for their clever answers even though I didn’t have a blog link for them.)

So, what do you think?  Would it be fun to do it again sometime?

Motherhood Mad Libs

Let’s play a little game, shall we?

Just respond in the comments below, and come next week, your words will weave a hilarious story.

Ready, set, go.

  1. adjective
  2. adjective
  3. adverb
  4. number
  5. thing
  6. 3 food items/ingredients
  7. verb
  8. animal (plural)
  9. 3 verbs
  10. adverb
  11. adjective
  12. verb
  13. number
  14. Interjection/Exclamation
  15. adjective
  16. plural noun

(Here’s a cheat sheet if you’ve forgotten all your grammar terms.)

Late-night brain argument

I came home late tonight from a meeting at the boys’ school and everyone in the house was asleep except for Natalie, who was wandering around the house by herself.  (No comment.)  I gave her her medicine and tucked her in, jumped online to renew some library books and shoot off a few overdue emails, switched over a load of laundry, and went back upstairs to see if there was any dinner left.  I stared at the pile of dishes in and around my sink.  I groaned. This is the conversation that happened in my head:

I should probably clean these dishes.

(Rolling eyes.)  I’m too tired.

But if I don’t do it, I’ll start out the day with things already undone.

I put away all the perishable food; that’s good enough.

It still looks like a mess though, and it will only get worse tomorrow when the kids get up.  Look how quickly everything went downhill just today.

Sigh.  I KNOW, but I really just don’t want to.  Oh good, Matt cleared the table.

Man, I’ve got to get on top of this stuff.  How can I have the Spirit in the home if I can’t keep it clean?

Let it go.  You don’t need the Spirit in the kitchen sink.

So I decided to write a blog post and go to bed instead.

(Despite the color coding, I’m still not absolutely sure which one was the angel and which was the devil.  It’s debatable.)