Lazy eye

I’m no vision expert, but I believe a lazy eye is when one eye is misaligned, doesn’t focus simultaneously with the other eye, and loses its ability to see details.  It’s an analogy for how I’ve felt ever since I got back from our vacation.  February here is quite bleak, especially compared with Florida.  Part of me knows exactly what I should be doing around the house and in pursuit of my own personal goals.  Another part of me– the lazy eye– just doesn’t feel like it, and would rather do lots of other non-productive, low-effort things.

My back yard has looked a whole lot like this the last week or so:

And all I want to do is sit by this:

And watch or read this:

I KNOW I should do this (except with more clothes on):

and a lot more of this kind of stuff:

But I’ve felt so lazy, and I’ve been allowing myself to become distracted.  It’s easy to be distracted– sometimes by my own cares and moods, sometimes by lesser things.   But it’s a yucky feeling because I can do so much better, and it’s much easier when I’m consistent about doing the things that inspire me.  So, I’m recommitting myself to this (fast forward video to about 5:30 for the most applicable points):

So, yeah, February kind of bites, but I’m powerful.  God has asked me for “an eye single to His glory,” and when I focus on what matters most, especially with BOTH eyes, He makes me fit for whatever life requires of me.  Anybody else out there struggling with focus right now?  Let’s reclaim our wandering eye together.  I declare today the last day of my funk.

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15 thoughts on “Lazy eye

  1. Love the videos! It is true about getting lazy. Sometimes it is hard to get back into the swing of things when there are changes to routines we prefer. But with a little determination and diligence we can get back on track and change our perception.

  2. I really love her talk. I was thinking about this last night, Joel and I were talking about Nun’s and how committed they are to their vows. And it really struck me that as a Latter-Day Saint woman, am I that committed to my vows/covenants. The Lord does expect me to leave behind the world and follow him, just like they are doing – but of course – including marriage and children. But what woudl happen with my power if I got THAT serious about my covenants? They are a good example to watch.

  3. buried in piles of papers to grade as high as some people’s snowdrifts, i understand your laziness. as much as i know that i should be focused and productive, i am more inclined to think about the things that i have no control over right now, to try to make plans for things that come in the future, and to make decisions now instead of focusing on working hard now.

    i, too, am trying to keep my eye focused on what is truly important. i am finding, as i do, that my focus is shifting as well. not necessarily on being infinitely more productive, but more on being more aware of the Spirit.

    thanks for this. i’m not a mom yet, but i love your blog. it hits me where i live.

  4. I haven’t been following my blogger buddies for the last couple of weeks. I loved the post before this one. I could SO identify with the red and blue conversation that goes on in your head. And I, too, can’t always tell which is the right one to listen to. I can be so hard on myself. It makes it hard to know which is the one that is from Satan or is it just me beating up on myself. A kind and loving
    Father might just say to do it in the morning. Could I hear His voice if He did?

    I loved all your videos (is that what they are called?) The one by Sister Beck is so touching. It makes me want to be a better grandmother since my mothering days are over. Children have never been in such danger of evil influences as they are today. They need us to be vigilent. Thanks for the reminder to get focused.

  5. Yes! Yes! I’m with you on everything here from the February Funk to the recommiting. I’ve had a crazy sick baby, a disaster of a house, and a really hard time getting motivated to do anything about any of it.

    So yes, it’s time to stop, starting now. Thanks for the kick in the pants.

    (Oh, and after all my raving about Zithromax in my last comment, turns out it did a fat load of nothing for my son’s last double ear infection. So yes, we made it back to the dr yesterday for more antibiotics. Oh, the irony.)

  6. I have to admit that I have a lazy eye no matter what month it is. I get really hyped up around the middle of the month, but get into a slump at the edges.

    So, no time like the middle to recommit, right?

  7. This is exactly how I feel but I just want to sit on a low stone wall and let the moss grow on me. I’ve been raising my 4 kids by myself for 10 years this June. We were never meant to do it singly and it has only been the ever loving care of my Heavenly Father that has gotten me this far. I feel like I can go no farther. Your blog helps me get through it. I can see the Spirit at work in your life. Shoulder on and remember, spring is just around the corner.

  8. I think you very clearly expressed what I have been feeling for a few months now. A major funk. I don’t know for sure what I need to do to get out of it but I think that getting priorities straight is a great way to start.

    Keep writing… you are inspiring.

  9. I have been suffering from the lazy eye, too. Nothing makes the bleakness in end of January/beginning of February better than getting sick.

    I loved the cleaning video. That is so what it feels like here EVERY DAY (that I actually clean).

  10. Oh, how I love you, Steph! Whenever I visit here, it’s like a visit to Relief Society (which I haven’t attended in years, I’m a Primary lifer! 🙂

    You inspire. I love that you say, “Let’s reclaim our wandering eye together.”

    I’ve been in a funk, too. And today? It’s over. I’m out!!

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