Author Archives: S.D. Sorensen

Post-Its

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Let’s spread some bloggy love, shall we?

Post-it Award

Here are some of my favorite posts recently.  I think they deserve your attention, and I think you deserve to read them.

Debbie at Suburb Sanity wrote this hilarious post that gave me a great idea about how to get out of doing laundry.  She is wise and witty, and finds a way to remind us that old-school values still have a place in this crazy, modern world.

Jana at The Meanest Mom has been one of my favorites since I first stuck my toe in blog waters a year ago.  I love her harmless sarcasm and the way she takes the common challenges of motherhood and makes them so darn easy to laugh at.  In this post, she explains the phenomenon of children’s organizational problems with unmatched snark and wit.  You’ll laugh.  I promise.

Melanie at Write Stuff has become one of the people on my “I’d love to meet in real life” list.  Her blog always feels like a conversation you’d have with a friend late at night while you laugh or analyze together and eat too many calories to count.  This post cracked me up because there was like a collective “Wha??” in the comment thread from all her readers, and I learned a few code words for sensitive topics that I never knew existed.  Just a hoot.

Another blogger I’ve loved since the early days of blogdom is Sue at Navel Gazing at Its Finest.  If you don’t read her already, you should start, but don’t drink liquids while you read.  Anyway, she wrote one of the funniest birth stories I’ve ever read.  Check it out.

And finally, I’ve learned how talented my friend Becca is as I’ve followed her blog, The Little Author That Could.  She recently wrote this post that so beautifully captured the depth and breadth of the simple moments of motherhood.  It’s really lovely.

So, congrats ladies.  Note to the winners:

Post-it Award

There are no weird prize rules for this award.  You don’t have to do a viral tag  of 8 people or make a monumental display on your homepage about it (unless you want to).  Here’s all you do:

1.  Accept it.  You can do this in the tearful silence of your own computer desk or by writing an emotional acceptance speech in my comments.

2.  Pay attention in the next week or so to the posts that you read elsewhere and if you find a favorite (or two or three), then pass the award along to honor the blogger who wrote it.  You can either do a post like this where you announce it (and which I will probably continue to do on occasion), or you can email them and let them know or whatever.  You’re smarter than me; do what you want.

And as a random side note, I have an odd hobby where I plan fantasy vacations that I never take.  Seriously, ladies, I know how to find rocking travel deals.  Check this one out for example:  A 10-night Meditteranean cruise for $350.  Please someone take this trip so I don’t feel like I found it in vain.

Pre-dawn ponderings

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It’s 4- something in the morning and I’ve been lying awake in bed for over an hour, so I thought “Hey, maybe I should get up and do something productive since I’m not sleeping.”  And blogging sounded a lot more fun then laundry.  I don’t suffer from insomnia; I could sleep for a day straight probably, but when I get woken up (my children pee in their beds through their nighttime diapers on a regular basis and we have midnight sheet changing rituals.  My pediatrician swears it’s normal, but I’m ready to hook everyone up to some kind of automatic electro-shock system and stop giving them liquids after breakfast.), well, then I think too much and it’s hard to go back to sleep.

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So, lucky you.  Welcome to my sleep-deprived midnight musings.

With all the sickness around here lately, and a handful of unexpected drama in other areas of my life, there’s been a sense of trudging knee-deep through some drudgery lately.  I won’t lie, I’ve felt overwhelmed and run-down.  I can feel it getting better now as it always does once you just get through it and start to get to the other side.  Matt’s been down with the flu the last couple days and Natalie’s been taking care of him by bringing him pieces of candy (from the Great Pumpkin stash she discovered) and asking him if he feels better.  Matt, recognizing her nurturing instinct, said, “Natalie, thanks for taking care of me.  Are you like a mommy?”  She nodded and smiled and replied, “I’m a mudder (mother).”  Then she called me in the room and said, “Guess what mom?  I’m a mudder.”  I watched her with her kindness, and pride in her new title, and it was a grounding moment for me.  She saw the value in that nurturing role, embraced it, and wore it with pride.  There are days I forget that, but guess what everybody?  I’m a mudder.

I had an experience this week where some good intentions went wrong and I offended someone.  I know that I have a strong personality (I like to call it “resolute”), but I don’t think I’m controlling, and I really really hate contention, so I try not to rustle up fights or drama.  I may have offended people many times and not known about it, but in this case, I was was made quickly and abruptly aware of my offenses.  Can I just say humility sucks?  It is hard to step back when you feel under attack and realize that maybe you need to make some improvements.  I had to pray my way through this one and then have a nervous-stomach, heart-pounding conversation and apologize for my mistakes.  Anyway, the whole drama is not the point, but I just wanted to testify that prayer works.  And priesthood blessings.  I  knew I was heard, and I knew I was not left alone in solving it.  I could feel that Heavenly Father understood my heart, but that he also wanted me to acknowledge and change some things.  He was so nice about it, but it still hurt a little, as all stretching does.  But there’s a new lightness and hope after He helped me understand it better.  It’s the beginning of learning process for me.

On a lighter note, I shaved my legs yesterday.  Um, maybe I’m running out of substance here.  I think I’ll go back to bed.

Real life is scarier than Halloween.

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So here are the undoubtedly anticipated pictures of my adorable children and their Halloween antics.

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Despite the fact that Natalie wanted to be carried through most of the trick-or-treating trek, and that Clark had the leftover flu so he trick-or-treated in isolation with Matt instead of joining our group of friends, most of the night went off without a hitch.

At the suggestion of a friend, we implemented the “Great Pumpkin” this year.

The Great Pumpkin PatchThe kids put half of their candy in a bowl and left it out on the deck for the Great Pumpkin, who takes it away and leaves them a toy while they sleep.  I know you’re a smart bunch and probably don’t need a lot of clarification on this, but the Great Pumpkin is really the new name for my rear end after I finish eating all their candy.

So, on to the really scary stuff.

Grant got his card flipped at school.  There is a classroom management chart system where each child’s name has a plastic pocket next to it with green, yellow, and red laminated cards in it.  If you stay on green all day for good behavior, you pick up a little ticket at the end of the day for a weekly class lottery, most likely for some treasured prize like a glittery pencil.  Getting your card flipped to yellow indicates a warning, and a red card basically means that next week you and your family will be featured on Supernanny.  Well, let me remind you that Grant is an oldest child and obsessive rule keeper, enforcer, and pleaser.  Every day he reports to me that he stayed on green all day and he is quite proud of his consistent model behavior.  Yesterday, his card got flipped.  He forgot his science homework on the kitchen table, so he got a warning for his obvious academic mediocrity.  (I really don’t care about the warning, I think it’s good for him because I reminded him several times to put all his things in his backpack but he was just putzing around.)  However, if you are a first grader with a personality like Grant’s, this is the worst possible thing that could happen in your life.  It’s like he had to come home from school, look me in the eye, and confess that he’d become a serial killer and would now spend the rest of his life in prison.  Anyway, needless to say, Grant’s hopes and dreams have all been crushed and he and I may need counseling to get past this great tragedy.

On to Clark’s scary news.  He had the flu (He’s #4 out of the five of us, and Matt went down last night).  You’ve heard of “Return of the Swamp Monster?” Well, that’s the new subtitle for Clark’s nose, and a new sequel comes out about every 3-5 minutes.  We’re now on Return of the Swamp Monster LXXVIII (I think I forgot how roman numerals work.  Somebody flip my card.)  Eye hath not seen nor can mind comprehend the copious collection of green goopy slime that comes out of Clark’s nose.  Even with excessive tissue use and cleaning there is still a crusty residue at all times.  It’s truly amazing.  Think this, but on his face always:flubber

Now, Natalie’s scary story may have left her scarred for life.  I’m not kidding.  Last night I took the boys to their swimming lessons.  Natalie held my hand and we walked along the side of the pool to where I put our things down and sat on the bench to help the boys undress down to their swim trunks.  About 15 seconds later, I looked up and I could not see Natalie anywhere.  My mom heart sank and I panicked a little.  I stood up and spun around in circles looking for her.  “Where’s Natalie?  Grant, where did she go?”  I was scanning pool, hot tubs, spas all within feet of me and freaking out that she had literally just disappeared.  I started frantically asking the people around me, “Did you see my little girl?  I lost her.  She’s gone.  She was just right here.”  At that point I turned around and saw her walking up to the glass door a few feet away, making her exit from the Men’s. Locker. Room.  She put her little hands on the glass like “Get me out of here,” and I ran over, opened the door and scooped her up.  I hugged her tight, and she buried her little face in my shoulder and squeezed my neck.  For a long time.  I kept trying to talk to her about what happened but she would NOT look at me and just hid her face in my chest.  Finally by bedtime, she was able to admit through weak nodding that she had seen naked boys and then turned around to try and find her mother.  Poor kid.  *I* would be scarred for life if I accidentally walked into the men’s locker room at the gym, and I’m a few ripe years beyond two.  Sigh.  Oh well, maybe this will delay her dating life.  In that case, I’ll let it go.

And Matt’s got the flu now.  I just took him his morning dose of Day-Quil in bed.

As for me, if the Thriller video were remade, being acted out entirely by dishes, that gives you an idea of what my kitchen looks like right now.  So I’m going to be brave, pull up my mom zombie pants and get to work.

Anything scary going on in your family right now?

General Conference Book Club Week 5: Elder Andersen

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I loved all your great comments about last week’s talk.  When it comes to “schooling my feelings,” I’ve learned that I still have a lot of work to do.  Maybe that’s why I was drawn to our talk selection for this week:  “Repent . . . That I May Heal You” by Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, given during the Saturday afternoon session of conference.

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“The invitation to repent is rarely a voice of chastisement but rather a loving appeal to turn around and to “re-turn” toward God.”

“Divine forgiveness is one of the sweetest fruits of the gospel, removing guilt and pain from our hearts and replacing them with joy and peace of conscience.”

“Sometimes in our repentance, in our daily efforts to become more Christlike, we find ourselves repeatedly struggling with the same difficulties. As if we were climbing a tree-covered mountain, at times we don’t see our progress until we get closer to the top and look back from the high ridges.”

As women, we are so prone to guilt, to self-doubt, and to damning ourselves in our own minds.  I wonder how often this simple doctrine of repentance, when used sincerely and regularly, could purge us of that heaviness and literally lighten our souls, our outlook, and our understanding of our standing before the Lord.

You can read the talk here, or listen to it here, or watch it here.  Then share what you’ve learned right here in the comments.  (Click here to learn more about this book club if you’re arriving for the first time.)

Dear Wise Readers,

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Just pretend that you’re Dear Abby (except with the kind of morals that you don’t tell people that they should be proud of the life they’ve chosen for themselves even though it’s riddled with sin and selfishness), and hit me with your best advice.  These are real questions, some dumber than others, that would greatly benefit from your insights.  Pick and choose, or if you’re infinitely smarter than I am, go ahead and answer them all.  (I made up little pseudonyms to sign off each question because maybe that will make you forget that there’s ONE person out there with all these issues.)

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  1. Will my laundry situation improve or get worse if I buy more towels and sheets?  We seem to always be running out.  —MAYBE MORE IS BETTER
  2. I’ve been asked to give a talk in church on a big ol’ topic that could take hours to discuss, but I’ve been given 13 minutes.  How do you narrow it down without feeling like you’ve left out some really important stuff?  —CAN’T SHUT UP
  3. When I walk from room to room in my house and see huge projects that need to be done in each one, I get a little panicky and shut down.  I know you can only eat an elephant one bite at a time, but how can I get my brain to just think about the one bite instead of the whole blasted elephant?  —I THINK I’M GOING BACK TO BED NOW
  4. Another laundry question.  I have serious doubts about whether or not the clothes that come through the laundry are dirty or not.  I wonder if many of them have even been worn or if maybe they just fell off a hanger.  Is there any way to minimize this problem without being a 24-hour monitor that has to question and sniff each item of laundry as it is placed in the dirty-clothes pile?  —HAMPER GOALIE
  5. Does anyone have good ideas for cold-weather after-school snacks?  I keep trying to think of a warm snack, but everything I think of is cookies or desserts.  Any ideas for healthy, cozy after-school snacks I can use during the Winter months?— BECAUSE A BAGEL IS GETTING OLD
  6. I have a lot of dried beans in food storage and I really need to learn how to use them this year.  I love soups and stuff, but I never remember to use my beans in time.  They’re supposed to soak overnight, right?  How can I work them into my regular meal schedule?  —OVERWHELMED BY BUCKETS OF BEANS
  7. This one’s a little heavy, but how does one apply the Atonement to all the “little stuff”? It’s easier to identify the application when there are big issues, major sins, or heavy burdens.  I wish I understood better how to hand over all my small struggles (the recurring shortcomings or undeveloped attributes) and tap into the Savior’s ability to “fix” it.  Any thoughts?  —TRYING TO GET IT RIGHT