Monthly Archives: January 2010

Be not weary: the paradoxical commandment for mothers?

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You know how Eve got those commandments in the Garden of Eden that contradicted each other?:  Don’t eat the fruit, and oh, be sure to multiply and replenish the earth. I’m sure there was some genuine and well-deserved stupor on Eve’s part.  Luckily, she’s smart and she got it right in the end.

Nowadays, things are only slightly less complicated.  The proclamation on the family teaches us that the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth is still in force.  In other words, have children.  And then there’s that little scripture in Doctrine and Covenants that tells us to “Be not weary in well-doing.”  Is it really possible to have children and not be weary?  In fact, if I died right now, my tombstone might accurately say, “Weary do-gooder.”

I chuckled a little inside when I heard that scripture read in church a few weeks ago (and probably made some witty comment under my breath about the impossibility of compliance when, for example, you have a newborn and a potty trainer at the same time– which I don’t at the moment, but I remember.).  I mean, telling a mom to not be weary is like telling Mike Rowe to not get dirty.  So, I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of weeks, because, let’s face it, if I ever have a snarky reaction to a scripture, I’m probably dead wrong.

Here’s what the scripture says: 

D&C 64: 33 Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.

Do you think weary is supposed to mean tired and exhausted?  If so, this commandment escapes the realm of possibility because I don’t care how much faith a mother has, she’s still not going to get enough sleep.  Perhaps there’s more to it than that.

Dictionary.com defines “weary” like this:

wea⋅ry

/ˈwɪəri/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [weer-ee]

–adjective

1. physically or mentally exhausted by hard work, exertion, strain, etc.; fatigued; tired: weary eyes; a weary brain.
2. characterized by or causing fatigue: a weary journey.
3. impatient or dissatisfied with something (often fol. by of): weary of excuses.
4. characterized by or causing impatience or dissatisfaction; tedious; irksome: a weary wait.

Perhaps the Lord is asking us to adjust our attitude more than our physical or mental state.  He’s asking us to not get dissatisfied with our work, to not become discouraged.  We may give up sleep, but we should not give up hope in what we’re doing.  This is what I’ve decided.  With absolutely no authority whatsoever, I’ve rewritten the scripture to read what I believe it actually means:

“Don’t get discouraged in your very important responsibilities.  They are tedious, but they are an important part in my eternal plan.  What seems ordinary and insignificant to you actually has infinite and eternal influence.  Believe in it, and keep going.”

Looking at “weariness” in a new light, and with a specific twist toward my job as a mother, I loved reading these scriptures (my thoughts are in red):

Gal. 6: 9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.  Key word:  in due season.  The fruits of motherhood are slow growing, but fainting is not an option if we hope to ever harvest.

(The footnote next to the word weary leads to this scripture:) Luke 8: 14 (14-15) And that which fell among thorns are they, which, when they have heard, go forth, and are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to perfection. So interesting that it cross-references a scripture about distraction.  It’s easy to feel discouraged in the labors of motherhood if we give too much importance to the cares of the world.  And yet, if we choose thorny paths, we are kept from the development of perfection– both our own and that of our children.

Isa. 40: 28, 30-31 ¶ Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. . . . But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Did that say there is a cure for weariness?  Yes.  And it’s in the Lord– waiting on Him.  Consistency and patience.

Jer. 31: 25 For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul. The Lord heals, invigorates, and blesses those who come to Him.

And, of course, Elder Maxwell says it best in an awesome talk called “Lest Ye Be Wearied and Faint in Your Minds” :

The urgings for us not to weary in well-doing contain prescriptions to avoid such weariness. (See Gal. 6:9; 2 Thes. 3:13; Alma 37:34.) We are to work steadily, but realistically, and only expect to reap “in due season.” (Gal. 6:9.) We are to serve while being “meek and lowly” (Alma 37:34), avoiding thereby the wearying burdens of self-pity and hypocrisy. We are to pray always so that we will not faint, so that our performance will actually be for the welfare of our souls, which is so much more than just going through the motions. (See 2 Ne. 32:5, 9; D&C 75:11; D&C 88:126.)

And that my friends, is how I was wrong.  Because with faith in and help from our Savior, even us mothers can move past weary and keep doing the work we were called to do, just like Eve did, invigorated by the knowledge that we’re truly doing “that which is great.”

Calling all Mouseketeers!

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Matt graduated from law school this month (YES! YES! YES!) and we’re going to celebrate.

We’re going to Disney World!

Other than my own visit as a teenager, we’ve never been.  I’m so excited, and a tiny bit overwhelmed by how to navigate the big wonderful world of Disney.  I need help from you experienced Mom travelers.

Stats:

  • We are staying off-site in a condo that has a kitchen, 1.5 miles from Disney World.
  • We will have a rental car/van.
  • We will be in Orlando for 6 full days (including one Sunday)
  • Three children:  ages 7, 5, and 3.
  • We have a behavior plan currently in place where kids can earn “Disney dollars” they can use to purchase snacks or trinkets at the park.  Good behavior earns dollars, bad behavior loses them.  Pretty simple.

Questions: (answer any or all of them.  I’m “all ears.”  Get it?)

  1. How should we divide up 5 days between the 4 parks (Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios)?  Please consider my kids’ ages and recommend what they’ll like the most/least.
  2. I don’t think we can afford to eat at Disney restaurants and such.  How realistic is it to eat off site or bring a lunch?  Could we “run home” and eat or is that really a 2-hour round trip?  Suggestions?
  3. I know about the “Fast Passes” you can use to come back later and not wait so long in line.  How does the “Ride Sharing” (thing where you and your husband can take turns going with/without children) work?
  4. Any great insider tips?
  5. What about must-see attractions, events, sites to see within the parks?
  6. Natalie is 3 and never uses a stroller any more.  Should I take one anyway?
  7. Anything I should pack that I probably haven’t thought of?
  8. Should I pay the upgrade for the park-hopper passes or is any one park going to easily occupy the full day?
  9. Anything you thought your kids would love and they didn’t?  I don’t want to waste my time.  I know for a fact they won’t like things like walking tours (for example, the Animation studios tour).
  10. I can’t think of another question, but name anything random you want me to take a picture of while we’re there and I’ll do my best.

p.s.  Don’t forget to join us in the Winter Poetry contest.  Entries due by Tuesday night.

General Conference Book Club Week 16: Elder Nelson

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I’ve been attending some ward conferences lately and listening to our Stake President’s message to the youth.  He challenges them to pray, really pray, two times a day.  He encourages them to get their rote prayers out of the way and then ask “What should I have done differently today?” and then review their day step-by-step with the Lord.  Then after repenting for mistakes they see they’ve made, ask “What should I do tomorrow?” and then listen.

This is a fascinating concept for me and one I’m getting up my courage to try.  So this week, I’ve chosen the talk “Ask, Seek, Knock” by Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.  He gave this talk during the Sunday morning session, where he proclaimed that “Every Latter-day Saint may merit personal revelation.”

“To access information from heaven, one must first have a firm faith and a deep desire.”

“For each of you to receive revelation unique to your own needs and responsibilities, certain guidelines prevail.”

“Patience and perseverance are part of our eternal progression.”

You can read the talk here.  You can also  watch it here or listen to it here.

What are some things that help you prepare for, ask for, receive, and recognize personal revelation?

———

p.s.  Join us in the Winter Poetry contest.  Entries due by Tuesday night.

Ode to winter (time for a poetry contest), and a teensy bit of whining

Posted in Diapers, Divinity by

I will now relate to you just a few of the events in our family in the last 48 hours.  Pretend you care.

Coughing

Snot

Fever

Waking at night

Lab visit

Strep Test

Antibiotic

Urinalysis

Another Strep test

Carbon Monoxide alarm going off

Evacuate house for hour

No notable danger

More fever

Bubble Gum Motrin

Bubble Gum Yum Tylenol

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Doctor visit

Blood test

Chest x-rays

Stomach x-rays

H1N1 test

Urology referral

Another antibiotic

Make cake

Grant’s birthday

Antibiotic battles

More sore throat

Two peed beds

Doctor visit

Strep test

ANOTHER antibiotic

The end.

Kill me now.

So, out of necessity and the spirit of survival, I will now change the subject.  I think it’s time for the Diapers and Divinity Winter poetry contest.  The winner gets a spotlight on my blog sidebar for the rest of winter AND this lovely crown:

Let’s do an ode this time, shall we?  An ode is “A kind of poem devoted to the praise of a person, animal, or thing. An ode is usually written in an elevated style and often expresses deep feeling. An example is “Ode on a Grecian Urn,” by John Keats.”  (Thanks, dictionary.com.)  We’ll be much less formal here, and modify the ode rules.  Pick something or someone to praise (Anything related to winter) and write a poem about or to it/him/her.  Can rhyme, doesn’t have to.  Can be serious or sarcastic.

I’ll cough up two here as examples:

Ode to my fireplace

In the midst of painful winter, wise birds have flown away.

Yet, we foolishly remain.

Thou art my only consolation.

Thy gentle warm breezes and intoxicating flames dance about,

and I rest by your side.  Waiting, Waiting.

Come Spring I’ll bid thee farewell.

Or given my current list of whining:

Ode to Antibiotics (Did I say I was going to change the subject?)

(in the form of a limerick.)

Winter affects us a lot.
There’s pressure, and coughing, and snot.
Write the doctor some checks.
Go pick up the Rx.
Enjoy 10 healthy days that you’ve bought.

My favorite part of antibiotics is “Take with food.”  I’m pretty sure they mean this:


Can’t wait until my next dose.

We’ll let the contest run for several days.  Leave your poem(s) — as many as you want to write– in the comments on this post by midnight the night of Tues., Jan. 19th.  I’ll pick my favorites and then we’ll vote together on a winner.

I think I need a nap.

Why I still love Neal A. Maxwell

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As a young single adult, I was a spiritual admirer of Elder Neal A. Maxwell.  I loved the way he used words to create images and analogies that helped me better understand the gospel of Jesus Christ.  He died the day that Clark was born.  I like to think they gave each other a hug somewhere in the “wormhole” between here and the spirit world.  Now that I am a mother and (maybe) a little bit wiser, I love him even more.

“Occasionally some individuals let the seeming ordinariness of life dampen their spirits. Though actually coping and growning, others lack the quiet, inner-soul satisfaction that can steady them, and are experiencing instead, a lingering sense that there is something more important they should be doing . . .as if what is quietly achieved in righteous individual living or in parenthood are not sufficiently spectacular.”

“If we spent as much time lifting our children as we do criticizing them, how effectively we could help them to see themselves in a more positive light!”

“Some mothers in today’s world feel “cumbered” by home duties and are thus attracted by other more “romantic” challenges. Such women could make the same error of perspective that Martha made. The woman, for instance, who deserts the cradle in order to help defend civilization against the barbarians may well later meet, among the barbarians, her own neglected child.”

“God’s extraordinary work is most often done by ordinary people in the seeming obscurity of a home and family.”

“One’s life … cannot be both faith-filled and stress-free…Therefore, how can you and I really expect to glide naively through life, as if to say, ‘Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken. Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou art! Then let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy joy!’ …Real faith … is required to endure this necessary but painful developmental process.”

“When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time. The women of God know this.”

“Obviously, family values mirror our personal priorities. Given the gravity of current conditions, would parents be willing to give up just one outside thing, giving that time and talent instead to the family? Parents and grandparents, please scrutinize your schedules and priorities in order to ensure that life’s prime relationships get more prime time! Even consecrated and devoted Brigham Young was once told by the Lord, “Take especial care of your family” (D&C 126:3). Sometimes, it is the most conscientious who need this message the most!”

“We salute you, sisters, for the joy that is yours as you rejoice in a baby’s first smile and as you listen with eager ear to a child’s first day at school which bespeaks a special selflessness. Women, more quickly than others, will understand the possible dangers when the word self is militantly placed before other words like fulfillment. You rock a sobbing child without wondering if today’s world is passing you by, because you know you hold tomorrow tightly in your arms.”

And finally, this was my favorite quote that I printed out and carried in my planner for almost the entire decade of my 20s.  It still rings true today:

“Throughout scripture we encounter the need for us to remember that the Lord has His own timetable for unfolding things; it will not always accord with our schedules or our wants. When, in our extremities, we urgently call for a divine response, there may be, instead, a divine delay. This is not because God, at the moment, is inattentive or loves us less than perfectly. Rather, it is because we are being asked, at the moment, to endure more for the welfare of our souls. The blessed meek understand that God loves them even when they may not be able to explain the meaning of what is happening to them or around them.”

What a great man.