Shut up!

smileI consider myself a fairly confident person overall, but I do have my struggles with self-doubt.  Something about spending the last week at my parents’ home has triggered some pondering in me.  And then when I set goals of things I know I want to be better at, that voice starts a-talkin’.  It says things like this:

When your children sometimes exhibit “unacceptable” behavior, that means you have failed as a mother.

Remember those 12 pounds you’ve gained slowly over the last couple years?  Well, take a good look in the mirror and you can see exactly where they are.  Ha!  Take that, fat girl.

Plus you haven’t exercised once this week.  That means you have no self-discipline and these 12 pounds aren’t going anywhere… they’re probably just the beginning.

Your house would barely qualify as a tool shed in this neighborhood.

When you go to church today and see people from your past, they might look at you and the phrase “worse for the wear” may come to mind.  Sure, smile and be polite, but you know they’re thinking you’ve let yourself go.

Stop making so many comments (two!) in Sunday School.  You’re just a visitor, for pete’s sake.  This is probably why your bishop made you the Primary president… because you just can’t keep your mouth shut in Sunday School and Relief Society.

Plus maybe the stuff you’re saying is dumb and people don’t care anyway.

And then in the mix of all that befuddlement, the Relief Society teacher quoted something she said came from Elder Holland’s talk, “Cast Not Away Therefore Thy Confidence.”  Simply the mention of that title jolted me.  I immediately felt a sense of comfort and acceptance.  My perspective changed and I became accutely aware that the voice I’d been listening to did NOT come from my Heavenly Father.  His voice does not make me feel small or unimportant.  So I jotted down the name of the talk in my notes and came home and studied it.  I just wanted to share a few quotes that have refueled my spirit today:

“Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. “Cast not away therefore your confidence.” Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.

“…  I acknowledge the reality of opposition and adversity, but I bear witness of the God of glory, of the redeeming Son of God, of light and hope and a bright future. I promise you that God lives and loves you, each one of you, and that He has set bounds and limits to the opposing powers of darkness. I testify that Jesus is the Christ, the victor over death and hell and the fallen one who schemes there. The gospel of Jesus Christ is true, and it has been restored.  “Fear ye not.” And when the second and third and fourth blows come, “fear ye not. … The Lord shall fight for you.”  Cast not away therefore your confidence.”

So, I’m telling that voice of self doubt to shut up.  There are lots of things about me that it clearly does not understand.  Things like this:

  16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
  17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ;
 
“Though we may see ourselves as weak and simple, we all share a noble heritage and can develop a faith that is equal to that of remarkable, faithful women who have gone before us. We have a vital role to play in helping build the kingdom of God and preparing for the Lord’s coming. In fact, the Lord cannot accomplish His work without the help of His daughters.”
smile2So, stick a sock in it, voice of doubt.  I’ve got a lot of important things to do and be, and I simply don’t have time for your nonsense.  Nice try, though.
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Don’t be shy… try your hand at the limerick contest.  TWO days left.  Come on, it’ll be fun.
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