It’s a good thing I’m so educated.

I have a master’s degree.

However.

This is an actual conversation I had with a 16-year old employee at the drive-thru window of a local fast-food restaurant.

“You can order whenever you’re ready.”

“Hi. Yes, I’d like one twist ice cream cone, but do you have one that’s smaller than the large?”

“We have a small.”

“Oh, okay.  I’d like a small please.”

“Is that it?”

“Yep.  That’s all.”

“Okay, your total will be $1.92 please.”

“Um, does the small cone cost more than the large cone?”

“No, they’re the same price.”

“Well, the big banner out front says the large cone is $1.00.”

“Right.  The large is $1.00 on special, and the small is $1.00.”

“But you said my total was $1.92.”

“No, I said ‘$1.00. Lane 2 please.'”

“Oooh. (nervous laugh) Sorry, I guess I misunderstood you.”

A few minutes later, the girl came wandering back to my place in line and took my dollar and gave me the ice cream cone.

As I drove away, I realized I never did go get in Lane 2.

I hope Grant appreciated that stupid ice cream cone.

And I really hope that I’m smart again when I get resurrected.

Mid-week Mind Dump

Just some stuff that’s been filling up my brain:

  1. I stay up too late at night.  It hurts the next day, but I love the quiet time after the kids are in bed. No matter how disciplined I try to convince myself to be, I never go to bed early.
  2. Getting children out the door for school in the morning is really like herding cats, only more slow-motion.  Maybe everyone needs an earlier bedtime.
  3. I do not want winter to come. Curses to cold weather.
  4. Natalie and I watch Cupcake Wars together.  Yesterday she told me her strategy for making a cupcake for a particular challenge:  mixing seaweed with cotton candy flavoring and pulling sugar to make a box car to put on top.  She’s 4.  I’ll start saving now for culinary school.
  5. Speaking of saving, I have a lot of great ideas for Christmas gifts this year.  Unfortunately, I have no money to buy any of them.  That whole thing about “it’s the thought that counts” is totally bogus.
  6. Yesterday was my mother’s birthday.  My mom is a wonderful woman.  You should meet her because everyone who does automatically has a better chance of getting into heaven.  Happy Birthday, mom.  I love you.
  7. I did something yesterday that I don’t remember ever doing before in my life– JOG for 40 minutes.  It wasn’t pretty, and I think I walk faster than I jog.  Cue the apocalypse.
  8. I need to drink more water.  Like going to bed early, I’ve been telling myself to do it for years.  But I don’t.  I’m surprised all my innards haven’t shriveled up by now.
  9. I really like the Preach My Gospel manual.  I’ve been studying it for an ongoing Relief Society activity/class I teach, and it’s been a great way to fuel my scripture study.
  10. I decided I’m going to start re-memorizing all the scripture mastery scriptures.  Between this website and a scripture mastery app for my phone, it’s pretty easy.  I’ve only done 1 Nephi 3:7 and 1 Nephi 19:23 so far, plus 2 Nephi 2:25 and D&C 10:5 with my kids, but I’m feeling it.
  11. Does anyone have a perfect bread machine recipe for whole wheat bread?  My sister sent me one, but I’ve ruined it twice.  It’s me, not her.  Recipes for Dummies are recommended.
  12. Tuesdays are my crank-out-the-laundry days, which means I get to watch lots of TV while I fold and sort clothes.  I’m pretty much all caught up on my shows now, which currently include The Biggest Loser, The Sing-off, Cupcake wars, Sweet Genius, Top Chef: Just Desserts and Chopped.  Um, all but one are food shows, mainly desserts.  Do you think they cancel out a 40-minute jog?  Great.
  13. I’m in charge of Grant’s Halloween class party, but I delegated out the entire thing, and all I have to do is show up.  That rocks.  I really did try to help out, but all the volunteers were so dang ambitious, and hey, more power to ‘em.

Dump complete.

Hi.

My poor blog.  If it weren’t for GCBC and Find-a-Friend Fridays, it might have completely withered up and died this summer.  Summer is just busy.

Here’s a peek at the last several weeks in no particular order.  I do not expect anyone to care except for my posterity, who I decided long ago will read my blog nightly along with their scriptures to keep them on the straight and narrow.   …. What are you laughing at?

Anyway,

We went camping for 6 days in Colorado.  It was a twelve-hour drive, and my children surprised me by being very, very good the whole way down.  They compensated for their good behavior by driving Matt and me bonkers over the next several days.

One day, we drove up Pike’s Peak highway to some reservoirs to fish, hike a little, and picnic.  Matt sent the boys with a couple camp chairs down to the beach and told them to pick a spot and wait for us there while we unloaded all the other equipment.  A few minutes later, we walked down to the beach and could not find them.  We searched the shore in both directions and still could not find them.  Long story short, they didn’t know that we had parked right next to a reservoir, so they hiked down the road (like a MILE) to the reservoir below that we had passed on the way up.  Then they hiked the trails from the parking lot there down to the beach, where they sauntered to the other side of the lake, plopped down the chairs and sat and waited for us.  For a long time.  When I finally happened upon them an hour later, I was so relieved and they were so confused about why we took so long and why they were in trouble.  They actually did exactly what they were supposed to do; they just did it at the wrong lake.  Matt was about pack up everything and head back home after that, but we recovered, even though the boys had to stay within ten feet of us the rest of the trip.

Another lowlight of the trip included middle-of-the-night puking by Grant.  In our pop-up trailer, on the cushions, during a thunderstorm so all the windows had to be closed.  So not fun.  Highlights included time with family and beautiful hiking and scenery.  We survived and actually had fun.  I’d say it was (almost) worth the 3 garbage bags full of dirty laundry we brought home with us.  Here are Matt and Natalie hiking at Garden of the Gods.  It’s a scene that makes me happy.

In other news, I taught EFY last week, but only for one day because I got sick.  I spent the night and following morning vomiting and running back and forth to the bathroom.  I tried to show up the next afternoon and teach, but they sent me home.  :(  I was sad I wasn’t able to finish.  It was fun while it lasted.

Matt’s mom and grandma have been in town and it’s been fun to have visitors.  I like the company and the kids love the grandma-love.

I got nostalgic and read my entire missionary journal this week, starting right after my mission call all the way to the plane ride home from Argentina.  It was so cool to relive all those memories and feelings and blessings.  It’s taking all my restraint to not hop on a plane to South America right now and go visit everyone.  I couldn’t stop there, so I kept going and read all my post-mission years up until I met and married Matt.  My goodness.  Those long single years were sure busy and dramatic times.  Half of me wants to go back and relive the excitement, but the other half (the tired and happily-married half) wouldn’t touch those years again with a 10-foot pole.  :)

This summer has been pretty low-key, and it’s been nice.  I’ve actually enjoyed the free time and summer activities.  I’ll miss the relaxed schedule once school starts again.  Just in the last few days, though, my boys have entered a new really annoying stage of behavior that Matt appropriately labeled last night “the gauntlet of stupidity.”  The constant noisemaking, grade-school comedian, poking and giggling and wrestling stage has made me grateful again that school is right around the corner.

So how about you?  What’s been the highlight of your summer?

What kind of blog is this anyway?

I get a fair amount of spam comments on this blog.  In fact, I probably get more spam than I get real comments.  Let me check. Yep, totally.   28,956 vs. 6,872.  Wow.  (WordPress has an awesome spam filter.) A couple have jumped out at me lately.  Besides the fact that most of them are ridiculously-translated, nonsensical comments trying to redirect me and my readers to their trashy website, sometimes I wonder how they ever expected anyone to click on their link anyway.  Check out a couple of my favorite recent spam comments:

Yeast infection for you! it the best thing that can happen to you

asinine hazy idea, grace! thanks. i look out for number one.

In the beginning just remember it was darked and then someone smiled! try this:You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! :)

Um, wow.  What inviting comments.  Can’t wait to “meet” those folks. <—sarcasm

Then there are things that “regular” people are looking for.  These are things that actual people have typed into Google or other search engines that have somehow landed them on my blog.  While it’s sometimes hilarious to see what people are looking for, it’s slightly unnerving to realize that something about my blog and its content has selected it as an answer to their search.  And they clicked on it.  I can only wonder how helpful or disappointing their visit was.  I mean, seriously, look at this list.  What does this say about me?

angry mom

example of urology limerick poem

weird monkey transformation

boogers bedroom

baby terrorist

an angel measuring something

old lady diapers

kidney leisure ultrasound

what do ships, railways, mines, cars, and government exist

you lover her not me quotes

self help books internet addiction

my husband wears the worst jeans

Apparently, I’m not nearly as classy as I thought I was.

What are some of the funniest comments or searches you’ve seen come across your blog?

And p.s…. Any volunteers for Find-A-Friend Friday this week?  I haven’t heard back from my randomly selected guest, so I need a back up.  First come first, first serve.  Thanks!

Snippets

Today’s post is a random mish-mash of thoughts and announcements and such.

Most importantly, we found out on Saturday that Matt passed the Bar exam.  I can’t begin to express what a hallelujah moment that was for us.  I was dreading gearing up for single parenting again if he didn’t pass, and I did. not. want to.   I mean, it’s been a looong road.  Here’s what our boys looked like when we started the law school journey.

Then, once we’d moved, started school, and Matt was in his first semester of law school taking finals, Natalie was born.

And now, we’re finally done.  Look how our family has grown up (and grown old) since then.  Can’t believe how the days and weeks can be so long, but the months and years just fly past.

Anyway, congrats to Matt and hooray for me.  :)

—–

Natalie’s been taking medications for a long time.  Prescriptions are part of our daily routine.  She hates medicine, and every day it’s a bit of a battle.  She actually has a sinus infection this week, so there are even more prescriptions.  She cries and doesn’t want to take her medicine because she’s too cold or feels yucky, and I try to tell her that’s why she needs the medicine.  It will help her fever and help her feel better.  She still hates it.  Today I pulled the medicines out of the cupboard and I saw her sneak from the room out of the corner of my eye.  I called her again and again.  No answer.  Finally I found her in the office hiding behind the couch.  I thought how funny it is that she tries to hide from what’s going to help her get better.  That made me think of this quote from general conference and realize that we’re all as silly as Natalie in some ways.

“Sometimes we want to have growth without challenges and to develop strength without any struggle. But growth cannot come by taking the easy way. . . .  We must be careful that we don’t resent the very things that help us put on the divine nature.”  -Elder Paul V. Johnson

—–

I can’t really explain this, but lately I’ve had an increased sensitivity to the elderly.  Maybe it’s because Matt’s grandma stayed with us for a little over a month while her husband was in the hospital.  I don’t know, but I’ve just noticed them more around me, and my heart has been drawn out to them.  I imagine that they have great wisdom from life’s experiences and probably many family members and happy memories.  But I wonder how much they struggle with loneliness or sickness, mourn the loss of spouse or loved ones, as well as the loss of their own strength, health and maybe independence.  Yesterday as I left the pharmacy, I saw a man who used to be my Stake president 18 years ago at BYU.  He set me apart for my mission.  One time he called me up out of the audience to bear my testimony at Stake Conference.  He also taught a mission prep class that I attended.  I greeted him, introduced myself and said hello, but as I got back into my van, I had a surge of those memories and I felt a wave of emotion and gratitude.  I wished I’d told him he was an important part of a really developmental stage of my life and my testimony.  I saw him as an 80 year old man now, much thinner and more frail, carrying away a prescription that was probably for him or maybe his ailing wife, and I thought, “maybe he doesn’t know what a great life he has lived and shared.”  I went home and looked him up on whitepages.com and found an address for him.  So I wrote him a letter, and it felt so great, and I hope it will somehow give him a little bit of joy.  Anyway, I’m not telling that story because I want you to think that I did some great thing; I just had a strong feeling and the thought that I should share it, so I did.  But maybe you know someone older whose day could be brightened by a note, a phone call or a visit.  Your kids can help too.  I don’t really know my point, but it’s just been on my mind lately.

—-

I have a cousin who suffers from chronic migraines.  Matt asked about her the other night at the dinner table, so then my children were curious about her.  We explained that she’s had a really bad headache for literally years.  Grant was shocked and cried out, “Why?!!  Are her kids really annoying?”  I thought that was so funny.  I told her about it and we had a good laugh.  She assured me that if that were the real problem, they would have been gone long ago.  :)  It also reveals a lot about what Grant understands about their behavior and my well-being.  Smart little whipper-snapper.