So, while I keep scrambling around today trying to get last-minute preparations done (get off the computer already, Stephanie!), I keep having this nagging question in the back of mind mind . . .

What exactly does someone WEAR to teach a class about beauty??!  I mean, you want to have some credibility, but you don’t want to overdo it and negate your whole message.  I’ve never met any of the people I’ll be teaching and they’ve never met me.  I’ve kidded myself in my mind about how they’ll probably expect me to pull up in a Mary Kay pink Cadillac or something and will be sorely disappointed when I roll in in a 10-year-old van with 158K miles on it and last week’s lunch leftovers in the back seat.

Maybe I should just wear sweats and a pony tail so they’ll all feel better about themselves.

Update: Please don’t look at any ads beyond this point.  I have no say in the ads that wordpress generates for my post, and I’ve been told some are inappropriate.

I hardly blogged at all over the last couple of weeks because I was just enjoying the down time of the holidays.  It really was down time– lots of laziness and mellow family “recreation.”  So nice.  But there are a handful of things that I would have blogged about if I felt like blogging, and I need to just unload them all… you know, get it out of my system.  So without further ado, a pile of miniature blog-posts:

1. I gave my blog a makeover.  I felt like I needed to just simplify it and downplay all the diaper and baby imagery.  I have a complex because my blog title is Diapers and Divinity, and with the exception of one child in nighttime pull-ups, I’m actually now beyond the diaper stage.  I still like the title because the blog is still about the balance between the dirty side of motherhood and the divine side, but anyway, I’m letting the diapers go.  I feel old.  And free.  Ha!
2. I also gave my hair a makeover.  I had like 6-inch roots, so thanks to a gift-certificate from my mother-in-law, I went and got it cut and highlighted.  I’m growing it out longer again, at least until summertime.  We’ll see.
3. I took the kids and we went and got our portraits done as a Christmas gift for Matt.  I was overdue getting them done anyway, so it seemed like a good idea.  I don’t want to make you jealous or anything, but I’m afraid my children are just handsomer than all the rest in the world.  So sorry.
4. Despite their handsomeness, they leave on lights EVERYwhere.  Matt is thinking about changing out all their light switches for those timer knobs that they sometimes use in hotel bathrooms for heat lamps.  Would that be weird?
5. Natalie calls her pinky finger her “girl finger.”  She says all the rest are boys.  ??
6. I gave a talk in church yesterday.  I think it went okay, but I forgot half the papers I was going to use and I still took too much time.  I get a little mad at myself for having zero grasp on the gift of brevity.  I did, however, really enjoy preparing and studying for the talk.  I wish I did a better job of studying the gospel that thoroughly even when I don’t have an assignment.
7. I made a simple new years resolution.  I’ll just cut and paste from Facebook since I’m lazy:  “My New Year’s resolution this year: *Be Nicer*. Seriously. The stuff that bugs me is probably not going to go away, so I just need to get over it and be nicer. (Bite tongue, curb sarcasm, manage anger.) Funny, my mom used to always tell me “Stephanie, be nice,” and I would roll my eyes at her. Now, I’m pushing 40, and I think I’m finally starting to get it.”
8. Along those same lines, for Family Home Evening last night, we came up with a family goal/motto for this year.  After discussing being nice to each other, showing respect, no yelling/arguing, etc., we adopted this line from the primary song “I’m trying to be like Jesus”:  “Try To Show Kindness in All That You Do.”  Anybody want to make me some cool graphic-designy thing that I can hang up on my wall?  Anyway, we’re going to work on that.
9. I’ve been invited to speak at a fireside in a couple weeks in a random ward where I don’t know anyone.  The bishop would like me to speak to the young women and the women about modesty.  I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I feel like I know the general direction I’d like to go, but if anyone has any great thoughts or talks/articles to pass along, please do.
10. This year I got down of my high horse a little bit and actually consented to let Santa bring my children a Wii for Christmas.  It was the only gift he brought for all three.  I have always been sort of an anti-video-game poster-mom, but lots of points won me over for some reason.  It was a bit of a gaming free-for-all over Christmas break, but today it was back to school, back to rules, back to chores, etc.  We’ve always had a system in place where they have to finish their chores before school if they want 30 min. of media time after school.  I have to say that having the Wii sitting in our family room made them pretty anxious to get their chores done this morning.  I honestly don’t mind all the active games like sports and singing/dancing, etc., so hopefully it will all be okay as long as I stick to my guns about time limits and what’s appropriate and what’s not.
11. We also played some fun new games over the break.  The kids got Apples to Apples Jr., and they really like that.  We got a card game called Clue Suspect, and I’m pretty much unbeatable.    We played a fun game called Telestrations with extended family, and we still need to try out a game Clark got in his stocking called Sorry Revenge.  I did splurge right before Christmas and bought a game table I’ve had my eye on for the last year at a local consignment store.  Despite temporarily suffering buyer’s remorse (even though it was cheap), it’s been fun to have.
12. Here’s the one problem with a Kindle.  You start a book and you don’t have a good sense of how long it really is.  I started The Count of Monte Cristo a week or so ago, and I have been reading and reading and reading, and my little progress tab only showed me at about 33% done.  I really liked that first third of the book, but after reading and reading some more (like almost all the way to 50%) and starting to like it a little less, I began to wonder.  Well, I looked it up on amazon to see how long the real book is, and it turns out that the unabridged version I’m reading is (depending on the publication) between 1200-1600 pages long!  Sweet mercy.  So according to my calculations, I’ve probably read about 700 pages so far.  Someone please tell me it’s worth it to finish it, because right now I’m feeling like I’m in quicksand– in too deep to get out.  And since I’ve spent all that time invested in reading it, it’s like I have to finish it just on principle alone.
13. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year, I really do.  Post-vacation transition is hard and a little depressing, so let’s make the best of it, shall we?

Dump complete.  Carry on.

However.

This is an actual conversation I had with a 16-year old employee at the drive-thru window of a local fast-food restaurant.

“You can order whenever you’re ready.”

“Hi. Yes, I’d like one twist ice cream cone, but do you have one that’s smaller than the large?”

“We have a small.”

“Oh, okay.  I’d like a small please.”

“Is that it?”

“Yep.  That’s all.”

“Okay, your total will be $1.92 please.”

“Um, does the small cone cost more than the large cone?”

“No, they’re the same price.”

“Well, the big banner out front says the large cone is $1.00.”

“Right.  The large is $1.00 on special, and the small is $1.00.”

“But you said my total was $1.92.”

“No, I said ‘$1.00. Lane 2 please.’”

“Oooh. (nervous laugh) Sorry, I guess I misunderstood you.”

A few minutes later, the girl came wandering back to my place in line and took my dollar and gave me the ice cream cone.

As I drove away, I realized I never did go get in Lane 2.

I hope Grant appreciated that stupid ice cream cone.

And I really hope that I’m smart again when I get resurrected.

1. I stay up too late at night.  It hurts the next day, but I love the quiet time after the kids are in bed. No matter how disciplined I try to convince myself to be, I never go to bed early.
2. Getting children out the door for school in the morning is really like herding cats, only more slow-motion.  Maybe everyone needs an earlier bedtime.
3. I do not want winter to come. Curses to cold weather.
4. Natalie and I watch Cupcake Wars together.  Yesterday she told me her strategy for making a cupcake for a particular challenge:  mixing seaweed with cotton candy flavoring and pulling sugar to make a box car to put on top.  She’s 4.  I’ll start saving now for culinary school.
5. Speaking of saving, I have a lot of great ideas for Christmas gifts this year.  Unfortunately, I have no money to buy any of them.  That whole thing about “it’s the thought that counts” is totally bogus.
6. Yesterday was my mother’s birthday.  My mom is a wonderful woman.  You should meet her because everyone who does automatically has a better chance of getting into heaven.  Happy Birthday, mom.  I love you.
7. I did something yesterday that I don’t remember ever doing before in my life– JOG for 40 minutes.  It wasn’t pretty, and I think I walk faster than I jog.  Cue the apocalypse.
8. I need to drink more water.  Like going to bed early, I’ve been telling myself to do it for years.  But I don’t.  I’m surprised all my innards haven’t shriveled up by now.
9. I really like the Preach My Gospel manual.  I’ve been studying it for an ongoing Relief Society activity/class I teach, and it’s been a great way to fuel my scripture study.
10. I decided I’m going to start re-memorizing all the scripture mastery scriptures.  Between this website and a scripture mastery app for my phone, it’s pretty easy.  I’ve only done 1 Nephi 3:7 and 1 Nephi 19:23 so far, plus 2 Nephi 2:25 and D&C 10:5 with my kids, but I’m feeling it.
11. Does anyone have a perfect bread machine recipe for whole wheat bread?  My sister sent me one, but I’ve ruined it twice.  It’s me, not her.  Recipes for Dummies are recommended.
12. Tuesdays are my crank-out-the-laundry days, which means I get to watch lots of TV while I fold and sort clothes.  I’m pretty much all caught up on my shows now, which currently include The Biggest Loser, The Sing-off, Cupcake wars, Sweet Genius, Top Chef: Just Desserts and Chopped.  Um, all but one are food shows, mainly desserts.  Do you think they cancel out a 40-minute jog?  Great.
13. I’m in charge of Grant’s Halloween class party, but I delegated out the entire thing, and all I have to do is show up.  That rocks.  I really did try to help out, but all the volunteers were so dang ambitious, and hey, more power to ‘em.

Dump complete.

Here’s a peek at the last several weeks in no particular order.  I do not expect anyone to care except for my posterity, who I decided long ago will read my blog nightly along with their scriptures to keep them on the straight and narrow.   …. What are you laughing at?

Anyway,

We went camping for 6 days in Colorado.  It was a twelve-hour drive, and my children surprised me by being very, very good the whole way down.  They compensated for their good behavior by driving Matt and me bonkers over the next several days.

One day, we drove up Pike’s Peak highway to some reservoirs to fish, hike a little, and picnic.  Matt sent the boys with a couple camp chairs down to the beach and told them to pick a spot and wait for us there while we unloaded all the other equipment.  A few minutes later, we walked down to the beach and could not find them.  We searched the shore in both directions and still could not find them.  Long story short, they didn’t know that we had parked right next to a reservoir, so they hiked down the road (like a MILE) to the reservoir below that we had passed on the way up.  Then they hiked the trails from the parking lot there down to the beach, where they sauntered to the other side of the lake, plopped down the chairs and sat and waited for us.  For a long time.  When I finally happened upon them an hour later, I was so relieved and they were so confused about why we took so long and why they were in trouble.  They actually did exactly what they were supposed to do; they just did it at the wrong lake.  Matt was about pack up everything and head back home after that, but we recovered, even though the boys had to stay within ten feet of us the rest of the trip.

Another lowlight of the trip included middle-of-the-night puking by Grant.  In our pop-up trailer, on the cushions, during a thunderstorm so all the windows had to be closed.  So not fun.  Highlights included time with family and beautiful hiking and scenery.  We survived and actually had fun.  I’d say it was (almost) worth the 3 garbage bags full of dirty laundry we brought home with us.  Here are Matt and Natalie hiking at Garden of the Gods.  It’s a scene that makes me happy.

In other news, I taught EFY last week, but only for one day because I got sick.  I spent the night and following morning vomiting and running back and forth to the bathroom.  I tried to show up the next afternoon and teach, but they sent me home.    I was sad I wasn’t able to finish.  It was fun while it lasted.

Matt’s mom and grandma have been in town and it’s been fun to have visitors.  I like the company and the kids love the grandma-love.

I got nostalgic and read my entire missionary journal this week, starting right after my mission call all the way to the plane ride home from Argentina.  It was so cool to relive all those memories and feelings and blessings.  It’s taking all my restraint to not hop on a plane to South America right now and go visit everyone.  I couldn’t stop there, so I kept going and read all my post-mission years up until I met and married Matt.  My goodness.  Those long single years were sure busy and dramatic times.  Half of me wants to go back and relive the excitement, but the other half (the tired and happily-married half) wouldn’t touch those years again with a 10-foot pole. 

This summer has been pretty low-key, and it’s been nice.  I’ve actually enjoyed the free time and summer activities.  I’ll miss the relaxed schedule once school starts again.  Just in the last few days, though, my boys have entered a new really annoying stage of behavior that Matt appropriately labeled last night “the gauntlet of stupidity.”  The constant noisemaking, grade-school comedian, poking and giggling and wrestling stage has made me grateful again that school is right around the corner.

So how about you?  What’s been the highlight of your summer?

I get a fair amount of spam comments on this blog.  In fact, I probably get more spam than I get real comments.  Let me check. Yep, totally.   28,956 vs. 6,872.  Wow.  (WordPress has an awesome spam filter.) A couple have jumped out at me lately.  Besides the fact that most of them are ridiculously-translated, nonsensical comments trying to redirect me and my readers to their trashy website, sometimes I wonder how they ever expected anyone to click on their link anyway.  Check out a couple of my favorite recent spam comments:

Yeast infection for you! it the best thing that can happen to you

asinine hazy idea, grace! thanks. i look out for number one.

In the beginning just remember it was darked and then someone smiled! try this:You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

Um, wow.  What inviting comments.  Can’t wait to “meet” those folks. <—sarcasm

Then there are things that “regular” people are looking for.  These are things that actual people have typed into Google or other search engines that have somehow landed them on my blog.  While it’s sometimes hilarious to see what people are looking for, it’s slightly unnerving to realize that something about my blog and its content has selected it as an answer to their search.  And they clicked on it.  I can only wonder how helpful or disappointing their visit was.  I mean, seriously, look at this list.  What does this say about me?

angry mom

example of urology limerick poem

weird monkey transformation

boogers bedroom

baby terrorist

an angel measuring something

old lady diapers

kidney leisure ultrasound

what do ships, railways, mines, cars, and government exist

you lover her not me quotes

self help books internet addiction

my husband wears the worst jeans

Apparently, I’m not nearly as classy as I thought I was.

What are some of the funniest comments or searches you’ve seen come across your blog?

And p.s…. Any volunteers for Find-A-Friend Friday this week?  I haven’t heard back from my randomly selected guest, so I need a back up.  First come first, first serve.  Thanks!

Most importantly, we found out on Saturday that Matt passed the Bar exam.  I can’t begin to express what a hallelujah moment that was for us.  I was dreading gearing up for single parenting again if he didn’t pass, and I did. not. want to.   I mean, it’s been a looong road.  Here’s what our boys looked like when we started the law school journey.

Then, once we’d moved, started school, and Matt was in his first semester of law school taking finals, Natalie was born.

And now, we’re finally done.  Look how our family has grown up (and grown old) since then.  Can’t believe how the days and weeks can be so long, but the months and years just fly past.

Anyway, congrats to Matt and hooray for me. 

—–

Natalie’s been taking medications for a long time.  Prescriptions are part of our daily routine.  She hates medicine, and every day it’s a bit of a battle.  She actually has a sinus infection this week, so there are even more prescriptions.  She cries and doesn’t want to take her medicine because she’s too cold or feels yucky, and I try to tell her that’s why she needs the medicine.  It will help her fever and help her feel better.  She still hates it.  Today I pulled the medicines out of the cupboard and I saw her sneak from the room out of the corner of my eye.  I called her again and again.  No answer.  Finally I found her in the office hiding behind the couch.  I thought how funny it is that she tries to hide from what’s going to help her get better.  That made me think of this quote from general conference and realize that we’re all as silly as Natalie in some ways.

“Sometimes we want to have growth without challenges and to develop strength without any struggle. But growth cannot come by taking the easy way. . . .  We must be careful that we don’t resent the very things that help us put on the divine nature.”  -Elder Paul V. Johnson

—–

I can’t really explain this, but lately I’ve had an increased sensitivity to the elderly.  Maybe it’s because Matt’s grandma stayed with us for a little over a month while her husband was in the hospital.  I don’t know, but I’ve just noticed them more around me, and my heart has been drawn out to them.  I imagine that they have great wisdom from life’s experiences and probably many family members and happy memories.  But I wonder how much they struggle with loneliness or sickness, mourn the loss of spouse or loved ones, as well as the loss of their own strength, health and maybe independence.  Yesterday as I left the pharmacy, I saw a man who used to be my Stake president 18 years ago at BYU.  He set me apart for my mission.  One time he called me up out of the audience to bear my testimony at Stake Conference.  He also taught a mission prep class that I attended.  I greeted him, introduced myself and said hello, but as I got back into my van, I had a surge of those memories and I felt a wave of emotion and gratitude.  I wished I’d told him he was an important part of a really developmental stage of my life and my testimony.  I saw him as an 80 year old man now, much thinner and more frail, carrying away a prescription that was probably for him or maybe his ailing wife, and I thought, “maybe he doesn’t know what a great life he has lived and shared.”  I went home and looked him up on whitepages.com and found an address for him.  So I wrote him a letter, and it felt so great, and I hope it will somehow give him a little bit of joy.  Anyway, I’m not telling that story because I want you to think that I did some great thing; I just had a strong feeling and the thought that I should share it, so I did.  But maybe you know someone older whose day could be brightened by a note, a phone call or a visit.  Your kids can help too.  I don’t really know my point, but it’s just been on my mind lately.

—-

I have a cousin who suffers from chronic migraines.  Matt asked about her the other night at the dinner table, so then my children were curious about her.  We explained that she’s had a really bad headache for literally years.  Grant was shocked and cried out, “Why?!!  Are her kids really annoying?”  I thought that was so funny.  I told her about it and we had a good laugh.  She assured me that if that were the real problem, they would have been gone long ago.    It also reveals a lot about what Grant understands about their behavior and my well-being.  Smart little whipper-snapper.

Translation: In a shut mouth, flies cannot get in.
Interpretation: Sometimes silence is the best option.

Even though my mind has been really busy, none of it has seemed very blog-worthy, and no one wants to bore others on purpose.  So here’s a brief report of the happenings around here lately:

• Matt is on his way home right now from finishing day two of the Bar exam.  It was hard.  He feels nervous.  I gave him a hard time about “You’d better pass or I’m getting a nanny and going to Hawaii for two weeks to recover,” (because I’ve been single-parenting for so long while he’s done law school and studied for the test, and because I’m so supportive like that), but I know he really did his best and we just have to wait for fate to play itself out.  I really am proud of him, regardless of the outcome.
• When it’s a school holiday and you are trying to keep your children under control so your husband can study, might I suggest driving an hour and a half to an indoor swimming place and letting them swim for FIVE hours?  They will be so tired that they can’t even speak on the way home and then you simply have to tuck them into bed on arrival.  Plus you get to sit in a chair and read books while you “supervise” them.  (I fully admit that I have entered a new stage of life where my children are big enough to need minimal supervision.  This would have never been possible in the last 8 years.  I acknowledge the new-found blessing, and I embrace it.)
• I have been using MyJobChart.com for a few weeks and it has worked so well with my kids.  I just want to mention how much it warmed my heart when Grant — the child I have been butting heads with lately– spent his very first hard-earned job points on “Mom time.”  I still can’t believe it.
• Have you ever noticed that even though you complain a lot about something and even have small-scale tantrums about it, as soon as you make it a matter of prayer, progress is made, and then you feel like an idiot for complaining so much in the first place?  Cases in point:  1.  Boo hoo, poor me, I’m new and it’s hard to make friends. –> More people than I ever imagined signed up for my girls’ night out and made me feel like a rock star, plus some little doors cracked open and I’ve felt some positive opportunities for new friendships.  2.  I’m annoyed with the school situation here. I wish I could find some better options for my boys. –> I got a phone call saying that they had both (literally) won the lottery and were accepted into a well-reputed charter school.  3.  I feel a little “underwhelmed in the kingdom.”  I miss teaching. –>  I got an invitation to substitute for an Institute class at BYU and some random emails with loose invitations for possible speaking assignments.  Common ingredient in all three “solutions”: prayer.
• I think I might have been marked in the pre-existence as “the one who will always have library fines.” I’m just faithful at fulfilling my destiny, that’s all.
• I am so sick of filling out medical history forms.  Shouldn’t there be some big database out there for that?  Kind of like ancestry.com, except it’s more like diseasesofyourancestors.com.  I should really market that.
• Clark just came into the room singing about how happy he is.  When I asked him why, he replied, “Grant said he’s going to run away because he hates me.”  I’m so proud of the loving family I’ve raised. *shaking head*

See?  Sometimes silence is the best option.

Here’s what the math facts are saying around here lately:

15:  the number of people who said they want to come to the Girls’ Night Out!  Actually, there were a lot more that said they wanted to come, but they had silly excuses like 28-hour drives or previous commitments and stuff.  (We’ll miss you.  *Sniff*)  If you said “yes,” go check your email RIGHT NOW.  I need a confirmation before I buy your ticket.  It’s not too late to join the fun.  Here’s all the info, so just leave a comment on that post to let me know you’re interested, and I’ll forward you the email about it.  I’m going to purchase tickets Thursday night or Friday morning.

The rest of the ugly numbers . . .

7: the number of days left before my husband has to take the Bar exam.
3000: the number of dollars it cost to buy the prep materials for the Bar exam.
0: the number of times I smiled when I told him that if he doesn’t pass this test, he’s a dead man.
90,000: the number of dollars we owe the government for allowing us to have 4, now going on 5, years of school-related stress and husband-related absence.
30+: the number of times I’ve put the kids to bed by myself while he has been studying (because he has to, not because he’s lazy) since Christmas.
0: the number of trophies I will win as “most supportive wife ever.”
6: the number of months we have lived here because all of that work really did help him get a wonderful job, even though we had to move across the country.

changing subject, but still counting . . .

6: the number of “breakfast” purchases I just saw on Clark’s school lunch purchase history. He eats breakfast at home every day before he leaves, mind you.
3: the number of the hour in the morning that I stayed up until last week watching “The Locator” on TV? Have you ever seen it? They help reconnect lost or estranged family members.
4 and half: the number of gallons of tears I shed while watching multiple episodes of aforementioned show.
2 1/2: the number of books I’ve read in the past week. Yay me.
1: the number of really decent meals I’ve cooked in the past week. I’ve cooked a few others, but they don’t really fall into the decent category.
57: the number of degrees that our house was when I woke up the other morning.  I about died. I think I might have felt the same if I had spent the night inside our refrigerator. I awoke to Grant standing in our doorway wrapped in a quilt.
5: The number of books Natalie read this week. Natalie learned how to read this week!!
12: The number of phone calls I had to make to get Natalie an appointment with a pediatric endocrinologist that could see her before April. (I’ll say more about this a little later when hopefully I have more answers.)
10: The number of children that were baptized at the same time as Grant the weekend before last. It was not easy for me to make the transition to what seemed like a conveyer-belt approach to baptism, but I’ll bite my tongue and try not to complain about it (publicly). Despite my frustrations, it was a lovely day, mostly because a lot of family was here to share the  day with us. And, of course, because Grant was happy.
4 or 5: the number of times I have wanted to put Grant in solitary confinement this week. Incidentally this number is down about 235% from last week.
-4.61: the number under the column “available balance” in my checking account right now.  (Sorry, honey)
623: the number of words in this post.  Egads, I’m wordy.
2: the number of times I thought about chocolate while I was writing this.

This week will be our first Find-a-Friend Friday and we’ll all meet a new blog friend.  To all of you who “applied” for the honor, you made it!  It’s a long list, but I’ll get to you eventually.  If you missed it, go back and check out the new plan and add yourself to the list if you’re interested in playing along.

—-

I almost feel like I owe a small apology about my post yesterday.  I still stand by a lot of the points, but in my attempt to say that we all need to be more forgiving of each other, I also kind of lumped the people in the “statistics” into a category of people who don’t get it, which I didn’t mean to do or say or imply.  I joked with a friend that we all need to study this talk by President Monson over and over and over again until we start to realize that we can NOT judge others unless we know their hearts, which we usually don’t.  It’s hard to do, especially when we think we’re right about something, but we need to extend the same kind of forgiving mercy that we hope to receive in return.  (And the less we think we need it, the more we probably do.)

—-

After I declared my undying love for Enrique Iglesias on my Things I Love post the other day, one of his songs showed up in my Pandora feed and it was VULGAR.  And then I felt really stupid.  So just in case you were all thinking I’m some kind of closet listener to explicit music, I’m not.  At least not on purpose.  I still love his old-school Spanish stuff.  But please don’t run out and buy his latest stuff on my recommendation. Please.  Okay, thanks.

—-

This is not any kind of formal announcement or anything, but last week I decided I wanted to write a book about motherhood.  Not a how-to book, but more about the doctrine of motherhood.  Of course, as soon as I started writing it, my children were possessed by demons and I’ve spent most of my time trying to hide from them or sending them to their rooms.  So then I felt like “Who in the world do I think I am trying to write a book about motherhood when I don’t even like my children?”  (I do, of course, really love my children, but you know, there are days . . . ).  If I could only learn to be as patient with them as God is with me.  So we’ll see how that all pans out.

—-

And finally, as a public service announcement, if you stay up too late relishing the child-free time you have, you’ll always pay for it in the morning.  Just go to bed and get your sleep so that you can deal with the next day better than the day before.  The “freedom” feels great at midnight, but it hurts come morning.  And have you ever noticed that if you try to get away with it anyway, your children will always wake up at least a half hour earlier than normal just to rub it in?  You’re welcome.

Anyway, I wasn’t very impressed, but my children pigged out to an embarrassing level (Matt gave them free reign of the dessert buffet.).  Then they each got a fortune cookie as we were finishing up.  Grant opened his and started jumping up and down for joy.  He started yelling, “Yes!  I’m going to Disneyland!”  He was SO excited.  Matt and I looked at each other quizzically and I asked him for his fortune paper.  A close look revealed the following fortune:

“You will soon be traveling to a distant land.”

His hasty reading had an unfortunately over-abundant translation.

I tried to comfort him by reminding him that he had just consumed more desserts than children in most third-world countries get in a year.  Somehow that wasn’t quite as magical to him.

Personally, I think it was a nice introduction to the season where Santa politely says no to most of the things on his Christmas list anyway. 

(For those of you who missed it, please join us in the  12 days of Christmas challenge! Random acts of kindness daily until Christmas. Today’s the “2nd day of Christmas.”  Click here or on the button on the sidebar for more information.)

1. General Conference Blog-sharing Activity/Contest
2. Comment Prize Giveaway
3. Post-It Awards

General Conference Blog-sharing Activity/Contest

It’s been a long time since I participated in a meme (don’t worry, I had to look it up once, too–it’s basically some kind of questionnaire that you can fill out and pass along to others).  I thought it would be fun to have an extra reason to pay careful attention at Conference.  Here are the meme questions:

General Conference Highlights, October 2010:

1.  Who were your three favorite speakers?

2.  Favorite talk?

3.  Favorite hymn sung during Conference?

4.  Who wore the best tie?

5.  Do you think conference had a “theme”?

6.  Share a few of your favorite quotes (paraphrasing is fine).

7.  Something that made you smile during conference.

8.  Any evidence that your children paid attention?

9.  If you had to give a talk in General Conference (don’t faint, this is hypothetical), what do you think you’d speak about?

10.  What are some of your post-conference goals?

On Monday morning, I’ll post my own answers here on this blog and you can post your answers on your blog.  (You can cut and paste the questions and just fill in the blanks with your answers.)  Then just leave a link to your post in the comments on Monday’s post here.  That way I (and other readers) can check out what you had to say.   And you can invite your readers to do the same thing so you can find out their conference highlights.

Also, on my Monday post, I’ll post a General Conference trivia quiz.  Whoever has the most points will be entered into a drawing for a prize!  (Not sure what yet, but something cool.  Oooh, I know.  How about President Monson’s new biography?)  Monday will be a fun day.

Comment Prize Giveaway

Now, any of you who have a blog know that blog comments are like little Christmas presents.  They make you happy.  My little ol’ blog has been up and running here since last March and I just noticed in my stats recently that I’m eerily close to getting my 5,000th comment!  I know some people get that many comments in a week, but whatever.  I still felt like celebrating.  So whoever makes magical comment number 5,000 will win another prize.  I’ll figure out what after I peruse your blog and think of something fun.  Just wanted to do something to say thanks to my fantastic readers for giving me so many little comment-gifts over the last couple years.

Post-It Awards

Here are some of my recent favorite September posts from BlogLand.  Several of them are from the the September Celebration of Family from Cocoa and Jocelyn‘s blogs.  Enjoy!

What is Real from Chocolate on my Cranium , written by Misfit Cygnet

Eternal Families from Chocolate on my Cranium, written by Allison Kimball

On Women and Men: Can’t We Just Get Along from Mormon Mommy Blogs, written by Braden Bell

Stage Two from Tatro Family

Presence from Mommy Snark

Peace of Mind for Fifty-Eight Cents from Write Stuff

We are where we are for a reason from THE MEANEST MOM

Love from Sweet & Simple Truths of the Gospel

Making Service A Way of Life For Your Family from We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice In Christ, written by Misty

Warnings and Forewarnings In The Family Proclamation from We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice In Christ, written by Susan

Lucy from Rabbit in the Headlights

Oh well.

Don’t worry, I didn’t sing or anything.  And I got cut off somehow right as I said the punchline of my story, but you’ll get the drift.

Try to have a good day anyway.

as “Lady and the Cramp.”  Does anyone else find this as funny as I do?

I’m thinking it would be a great rewrite/parody.  Remember the song the hootchie girl dog sings in the dog pound prison?  Maybe she could sing it like this:  “It’s a Cramp, and I hate it …”  And after Lady gets out of the clink, can you imagine the PMS-induced wrath that Mr. Street Dog would get?  I don’t think it would be a spaghetti kiss, put it that way.

What would you write into the story if  you were the screenwriter for Lady and the Cramp?

My brain feels like this:

My drivers license is expired, and I grew a zit on my chin today.  There are probably more important things to report, but please refer to the previous picture.

I have looked at so many houses that I will dream about opening closet doors all night long probably.

I like to look at this:

And eat this:

(Except mine was one of those “sharing size” packages, and I didn’t share with anyone.)

That’s all I’ve got.

How are you today?