Momsensical Mad Libs Mania

Thanks to those of you who played along with Friday’s Mad Libs post.  (Yes, even impatient AmberWaves. )  Here’s the text you can use to plug in all your answers.

Job posting: Motherhood

WANTED:  One (1) lady to work full time as mother in a (2) household.  Job duties include:

Doing laundry (3) for at least (4) people in a washing machine the size of a (5).

Coming up with something to cook for dinner every night even when you only have (6) in your cupboards.

Cleaning the house until the floor’s so clean you could (7) on it.

Bathing and dressing children.  (Experience working with (8) is very helpful.)

Creating and maintaining a discipline plan to ensure that children (9) (10).

You don’t have to do it all alone.  You could also make a (11) chore chart and sit back and watch while the children (12).

You should probably be paid about $(13) an hour for this work, but you’ll do it for free since it makes your heart say “(14).”

(15) people need not apply.

Oh, and remember that in heaven, you’ll get lots and lots of (16).

Just for fun, I picked some of my favorite answers among all of your entries and put together a communal job posting that brings a smile to my face.  I linked each term to the clever lady who provided it.

Job posting: Motherhood

WANTED:  One ridonkulous lady to work full time as mother in a primal household.  Job duties include:

Doing laundry wistfully for at least 47* people in a washing machine the size of a tractor.

Coming up with something to cook for dinner every night even when you only have garlic, almond extract and brown sugar in your cupboards.

Cleaning the house until the floor’s so clean you could germinate on it.

Bathing and dressing children.  (Experience working with sea lions* is very helpful.)

Creating and maintaining a discipline plan to ensure that the children bemoan, tease and howl cheerfully.

You don’t have to do it all alone.  You could also make a polka-dotted chore chart and sit back and watch while the children laugh.

You should probably be paid about $99 an hour for this work, but you’ll do it for free since it makes your heart say “Whoa, Nelly!“

Beautiful people need not apply.

Oh, and remember that in heaven, you’ll get lots and lots of babies.

(*Thanks to Jan and Atzimba for their clever answers even though I didn’t have a blog link for them.)

So, what do you think?  Would it be fun to do it again sometime?